Imagine me seeing this advertisement on tv...."YOU, yes YOU can improve your life in one easy move a day! With our special offer, YOU TOO can have a flatter tummy, less stress, a better intimate life, more well behaved kids. You can have a clean house, time to yourself, and drop at least one dress size!
But wait! There's more! You will also find more money, more fulfillment! You will become more creative! You will learn secrets about you you never knew! You will get in touch with your inner child, your inner lover, your inner teacher! You will laugh more, love more, save more money than you ever thought possible! Your self esteem will improve, your looks will improve. Your hair will be bouncy and shiny, your floors sparkling clean. Even your dog will be more obedient!
How much would YOU pay for this secret of the ages? $100? $200? What if I told you that this secret can be YOURS for $19.95!!!"
(Picture my trembling fingers as I open the envelope that holds the secret to more wealth and a firmer backside. Sllowwwlllyy I read these words that will change my life forever.....
TURN OFF THE BLOOMIN' COMPUTER/TV/PHONE, WOMAN!!! YOU ARE WASTING YOUR LIFE!!!
My beautiful, darling sisters in Christ!!!
You might notice that there is more stuff at the bottom of the blog (I can wait while you scroll :-) ). Let me tell you why...
I do not know about you, but I am NOT the best homemaker ever. Actually at all. I am pretty pitiful, tbh. My house is very sanitary, but it is not very neat at times. The bathrooms are clean and the bed made, but there is clean laundry folded, but not put away, the desk a bit of a mess, projects everywhere.
It is not because my arm is broke. It is not because I do not know how to do what I need to do. It is because of.....
THE COMPUTER!!!! (ok, well it is because of my lack of self discipline!).
So, I want to be open and honest about this. I am not a great homemaker, but I COULD be if I actually DID homemaking instead of "really important research" and "catch up really quick on the news".
There was a time when I was much worse than now. A couple of years ago I was involved in a woman's forum. I eventually became a moderator, and frankly the forum took almost all my time. I know that many women were in the same boat (as you could see who was online, and many of us just seemed to "always be there")
The problem is that we did not get our work done. We were complaining about being overweight, not having our house clean, kids disruptive, no time for things we enjoy, suffering relationship with our husbands, etc.
If I had to guess, many women who overindulge in the computer probably have a day that is very similar to this:
"I'll just check the boards a second because I am a mod and it is my responisibili...oh look! Susie posted a pic of her twins! Let me just write a quick note...I might as well check the other boards while I am here. Xsighx, another fight with whatshername. She is just trolling, let me set her straight. OH! I think everyone would be interested in the supper I made last night. And I am going to make a QUICK post/comment about.....
(grab lunch to eat at the puter)
(grab snack, make sure the kids are not setting anything on fire)
(grab coffee, notice 9 yr old shaves now...have we been on that long?)
(HUBBY IS GOING TO BE HOME IN TEN MINUTES! ACK! MAJOR flash of guilt. Still in our sweats, house a mess, never brushed hair. Spend exactly 30 seconds on hair, 4 minutes on hamburger helper, 30 seconds checking kids, 1 minutes sweeping all toiletries in bathroom in drawer, 1 minute making phone call we promised to make for hubby, and the rest of the time frantically tidying the living room. Hubby is home, we make sure we am NOT NOT NOT at computer when he walks in)
(feed family, back to boards)
(get dessert and bring back to computer)
(tuck in kids, read catfight posts to hubby)
(catfight has taken majority of my interest. We do not realize thathubby has gone to bed--no romance tonight! We either will post and try to make peace in the catfight, or we will join sides in someway. Our chests will burn as we type, or we will get together on im with a buddy and we will "discuss" (read: gossip) about the fight. )
Finally I start getting ready for bed. I think about how my house is a mess, how I wasted another day. If I am honest, I will realize that I spent 14 hours ignoring home and family and the only useful nugget of information I got from it was how to get out underarm stains from white tee shirts. The next morning I am "too tired" to do work because I stayed up late reading posts, so I sit down to the computer wearily (ignoring the fact that I can also fold laundry sitting down, or plan menus or budget or clean out a drawer or...), in sweats and before I have brushed my hair, to "just check one more thing...."and the cycle begins again.
Blogs, forums, instant messaging, "research", "support groups", phone calls, Judge Judy....all things that we use to waste our time. We spend 8 hours looking for bonding, counseling, distraction, support, encouragement, and almost no time actually living our lives!
(special note for tv watchers: realize that the children can hear AND ABSORB what we watch!!).
Some of us are phone users, calling one person after another. Some of us are multitaskers and do phone AND computer AND tv.
The Lord is specific about women who go "from house to house" being busy bodies. However, technology has enabled us to be busybodies in the comfort of our own home!!!! We do not even have to brush our hair or our teeth, because no one actually sees you when you go to their blog or forum or site.
So for all of us who have either a little problem or a big problem with these things, I wanted to offer accountability lists for us to look down and see if we REALLY have time to be doing these things.
Now, I will tell you, for ME, my excuse was "but I am so lonely up here in Alaska with no one to talk to! These boards are the only interaction with adults I get!". And in a way that is ALMOST logical. However, if I was honest, it was not that I was actually alone, but that I wanted distraction. It is a LOT more fun to post on a forum or read a blog than to scrub a toilet or fold clothing. I did not need nearly as much "adult interaction" as I thought I did.
Then I went through my "but I am HELPING people! This is my MINSTRY" phase. Uhh....yeah only the Lord told us to be busy at home, to love our husbands and children and to be kind. NOT "let your house fall apart and ignore the kids, and not have a healthful meal for your family and rebuff your husbands advances in order to monitor a cat fight between two people who have never met OR to spend hours echoing other people.". We can give good advice, encourage each other, support each other. But we need to be more "laser" and less "shotgun"--we need to FOCUS our energy and time instead of just idling in front of the computer.
I mean, I know that many complaints I have read, and (and some that I have made) would actually be SOLVED if the person got up from the computer and prayed and read the Word and then cleaned/cooked/loved their children/loved their husbands. Weight would be lost with no cutting back on calorie. Houses would be clean. Kids would still throw tantrums sometimes, but at least they would know more about their mother than what the back of her head looks like! lolol There would be improvement in everything from achy joints to imperative snuggles with hubby.
But I, like many, get sucked in....
For example, I find that forums are HORRIBLE time wasters because I like to talk on them. When I stop posting so much, I have more time. There are homemaker blogs that really encourage me, but I cannot spend 14 hours being "encouraged" and only do one hour of work!!! LOLOLOL
If someone really wanted help, there are places for them to look, both in the Word and on the net. If we are honestly honest with ourselves, the forums are usually just a place to visit and get sympathy. They are "reality shows" of the computer and generally feed our selves, not our lives.
Does that mean we should NEVER be online or on the phone? NO! That just means that we have to be honest with ourselves. Computer/tv/phone is "dessert". :-)
So to that end, I have the list of questions on the sidebar. These are mainly for me, but feel free to use them if you like! I have NO reason why I could not have a totally clean house and GOOD supper on the table. I just get lazy!
Go to the Lord, not the board, should be our motto :-) He will bring us everything we need in just the right time. We have to make sure we do not overindulge, but are doing good work (like, actual WORK lol).
So there is the secret to a better love live, better child rearing, better figure, better health. Turn off the computer, get off the couch, hang up the phone, and treasure every moment with everyone in your house before they are grown up. Make your home, don't waste your life watching other people make theirs!! :-)
Have a very productive day my sisters!!