It has been....a good year or so since I have updated this blog. Part of the reason was because the last post was just so.....perfect. I loved keeping up the post of the provision of the Lord on that page. He is so kind, so merciful, so perfect.
Also, I have been deep into other projects, life, etc. I am not even sure if this blog will continue, but I was so greatly heartened today by another blog I saw, that I was moved to post on mine. The new blog is this one: http://aspiring-homemaker.blogspot.com It was a balm for my soul this morning.
I so greatly admire these women who find such peace and joy in keeping their own house. They see such beauty, there is such simplicity. I know that this can become an idol to some of us--we cannot worship the past, nor the life that is different than what we have. The Lord puts us where we are for the reason He sees fit. The woman who lives in a 762 sf condo in the middle of a large city is just as right there as the woman who lives on 10 acres in the country (ahem, or the southern girl who was planted quite firmly in the snow for the past 11 years...but I digress... lolol).
I know that that is a lesson the Lord is teaching me--that there is a season and a time. I just turned 40, my eldest child is about to be a junior in high school, and my husband is retiring in the next year. OH what a tumultuous time this is for me, what a soul searching "Holy COW where did the time go? Have I missed my own life while waiting for it to start?!?!?!" sort of feeling the past few months have been!
But the Lord is merciful. There is TIME. One of the greatest gifts He gives us is ETERNITY. He has been working on me every single day of these 11 years. I have changed tremendously since we pulled into North Pole Alaska so many years ago, with a newborn and a 3 year old. There is time. There is time. There is time.
So here I sit, ready to start blogging again. I think that my struggles of "Who am I? What is my purpose? What is the life that the Lord wants for me?" are very common at this stage of human development--almost like a second adolescence. I would love to hear your thoughts.
Showing posts with label ramblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ramblings. Show all posts
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Stuck Under A Ladder
My beautiful sisters in Christ!
Time to tell on myself a bit with a positively RIDICULOUS happening last week.
We have been working on getting our house trim painted, etc.
We have two ladders. One is a regular 6' ladder and one is a HUGE ladder that I think is 20 feet long, and that telescopes in on itself like a fire truck ladder. I needed this one to do a lot of the high trim on the house, as we have a 1.5 story house.
Ok, now TWS is still limited in his lifting ability, so it has mainly been me hefting this ladder. I am a fairly sturdy woman, so that had not been a problem. However, that morning we had put a new piece on the ladder. It is a large semi- circle metal brace thingie that is supposed to be wider than a window so that you can lean the ladder up at a window without the ladder top resting on the glass.
This thing is phenom. It makes the ladder much more steady. And heavy. Just heavy enough to tip the scales (pun fully intended) away from my ability to wrangle the ladder. I can lift it, but cannot really control it because of the extra weight. A couple of times the kids heard the ladder CRASH to the ground because all I could do was swing it away from the house, not guide carefully.
Ok I was painting trim in the front, and at one point I needed to move this ladder over a foot or so. In order to move it, I had to slide it under the edge of the roof, under two cross braces, and then back up under the roof edge all without smashing the ladder into our large, beautiful, and new triple pane windows (no, I did not break the windows!).
I was not strong enough to stand behind the ladder properly and pull the ladder to myself. So I got under the ladder and tried to "walk" the rungs to make the ladder stand up. However, the feet of the ladder were in soft dirt and kept sliding. I was afraid I would break the glass, so I figured I would just put the ladder on my shoulders and walk it out to the yard to adjust.
So I slid the ladder down until my head was in between two rungs and the ladder sides were resting on my shoulders. I walk out to the yard, away from the windows, with my head through the rungs and my arms just keeping the ladder steady.
Then I tried to lift the ladder off of my shoulders. Uh oh.
I soon realize my arms seriously had no strength left after toting, painting, and hefting all day. I could not budge the ladder over my head! Ok, no problem, just put the ladder back on my shoulders and rest a bit and try again....
And again....
And again.
Greeeaaaat. I'm stuck.
The ridiculousness of the situation started to hit me and I got an attack of the giggles, which makes lifting the ladder REALLY TRULY ENTIRELY impossible at this point. But I still do not get that it is entirely impossible. I keep asking myself "No, seriously....am I really stuck? As in...stuck?? Cause I do not want to call out the cavalry just in time to lift the ladder off of my own head.". Try again. Nope, I am really seriously stuck.
So I called my mom who was inside, but she did not hear me. THEN I call to TWS who was in the garage on the far side of the house, but of course he could not hear me.
So much for cavalry.
"AHA!" I thought to myself "Just slide my shoulders through the rungs and slide the ladder down off of me like a skirt!". However, I soon found out that the...ahem...sturdiness of my shoulder means they do NOT fit through the rungs.
Then I start to panic just a little (ok, not panic, but get a bit concerned!). I have my head stuck through a ladder, my arms are too weak to lift it, and no one can hear me. My frame is strong enough to hold the ladder at the moment, but for how long? Do I need to flag down a passing motorist? Would YOU stop for a woman waving wildly wearing a 20' ladder around her neck like an accessorizing gone horribly awry?
I mull my options as my shoulders start to ache. I mean....can someone DIE this way? How long can I stand there? Should I sit? What if I cannot get back up??
I figured I would have to walk to TWS to get his help. But there is no easy way to get to him. My truck is between him and me and I do not want to accidentally hit my truck with this ridiculous piece of paint splattered bling. So that means I would have to walk off the property, down the street, and back up into the other side of our circular drive way, again the view of neighbors and motorists. What would YOU think if you saw this dreadful living see-saw ambling down the side of the road? Yeah. Well at least if someone called the cops, they might be able to get this blasted thing off my head.
I actually would have paid to see that happen...to see the police show up and extricate me from this ladder. They could also call the fire department...they know about ladders, right? Maybe I could get on the local news (we have a REALLY small town) "Local woman attacked by her own ladder! Chaos at the scene! The fire department worked frantically to rescue a woman from her own ladder which apparently turned on her as she was trying to transport it. After several tense minutes of uncontrolled guffawing, the ladder was tranquilized and removed from the woman's shoulders. The woman was taken to a local Ace Hardware as a safety precaution and was later released. Officials will not release the name of the woman, but c'mon, how many cross eyed, headcovering women do we see around here? She's the one who had those blue underarms that one time...".
Ok, so in the end, the police did not have to be called. The neighbors did not have a chance to laugh, and I did not get on the 6 o'clock news. It occurred to me that I might take the ladder off like a sweater instead of a skirt, and ducked my head until it slid off of my shoulders. Sweet Success!
(btw, I have not been on that ladder since. I am tired of painting. And it is raining, so I just play Bejeweled Twist all day instead.)
:)
Time to tell on myself a bit with a positively RIDICULOUS happening last week.
We have been working on getting our house trim painted, etc.
We have two ladders. One is a regular 6' ladder and one is a HUGE ladder that I think is 20 feet long, and that telescopes in on itself like a fire truck ladder. I needed this one to do a lot of the high trim on the house, as we have a 1.5 story house.
Ok, now TWS is still limited in his lifting ability, so it has mainly been me hefting this ladder. I am a fairly sturdy woman, so that had not been a problem. However, that morning we had put a new piece on the ladder. It is a large semi- circle metal brace thingie that is supposed to be wider than a window so that you can lean the ladder up at a window without the ladder top resting on the glass.
This thing is phenom. It makes the ladder much more steady. And heavy. Just heavy enough to tip the scales (pun fully intended) away from my ability to wrangle the ladder. I can lift it, but cannot really control it because of the extra weight. A couple of times the kids heard the ladder CRASH to the ground because all I could do was swing it away from the house, not guide carefully.
Ok I was painting trim in the front, and at one point I needed to move this ladder over a foot or so. In order to move it, I had to slide it under the edge of the roof, under two cross braces, and then back up under the roof edge all without smashing the ladder into our large, beautiful, and new triple pane windows (no, I did not break the windows!).
I was not strong enough to stand behind the ladder properly and pull the ladder to myself. So I got under the ladder and tried to "walk" the rungs to make the ladder stand up. However, the feet of the ladder were in soft dirt and kept sliding. I was afraid I would break the glass, so I figured I would just put the ladder on my shoulders and walk it out to the yard to adjust.
So I slid the ladder down until my head was in between two rungs and the ladder sides were resting on my shoulders. I walk out to the yard, away from the windows, with my head through the rungs and my arms just keeping the ladder steady.
Then I tried to lift the ladder off of my shoulders. Uh oh.
I soon realize my arms seriously had no strength left after toting, painting, and hefting all day. I could not budge the ladder over my head! Ok, no problem, just put the ladder back on my shoulders and rest a bit and try again....
And again....
And again.
Greeeaaaat. I'm stuck.
The ridiculousness of the situation started to hit me and I got an attack of the giggles, which makes lifting the ladder REALLY TRULY ENTIRELY impossible at this point. But I still do not get that it is entirely impossible. I keep asking myself "No, seriously....am I really stuck? As in...stuck?? Cause I do not want to call out the cavalry just in time to lift the ladder off of my own head.". Try again. Nope, I am really seriously stuck.
So I called my mom who was inside, but she did not hear me. THEN I call to TWS who was in the garage on the far side of the house, but of course he could not hear me.
So much for cavalry.
"AHA!" I thought to myself "Just slide my shoulders through the rungs and slide the ladder down off of me like a skirt!". However, I soon found out that the...ahem...sturdiness of my shoulder means they do NOT fit through the rungs.
Then I start to panic just a little (ok, not panic, but get a bit concerned!). I have my head stuck through a ladder, my arms are too weak to lift it, and no one can hear me. My frame is strong enough to hold the ladder at the moment, but for how long? Do I need to flag down a passing motorist? Would YOU stop for a woman waving wildly wearing a 20' ladder around her neck like an accessorizing gone horribly awry?
I mull my options as my shoulders start to ache. I mean....can someone DIE this way? How long can I stand there? Should I sit? What if I cannot get back up??
I figured I would have to walk to TWS to get his help. But there is no easy way to get to him. My truck is between him and me and I do not want to accidentally hit my truck with this ridiculous piece of paint splattered bling. So that means I would have to walk off the property, down the street, and back up into the other side of our circular drive way, again the view of neighbors and motorists. What would YOU think if you saw this dreadful living see-saw ambling down the side of the road? Yeah. Well at least if someone called the cops, they might be able to get this blasted thing off my head.
I actually would have paid to see that happen...to see the police show up and extricate me from this ladder. They could also call the fire department...they know about ladders, right? Maybe I could get on the local news (we have a REALLY small town) "Local woman attacked by her own ladder! Chaos at the scene! The fire department worked frantically to rescue a woman from her own ladder which apparently turned on her as she was trying to transport it. After several tense minutes of uncontrolled guffawing, the ladder was tranquilized and removed from the woman's shoulders. The woman was taken to a local Ace Hardware as a safety precaution and was later released. Officials will not release the name of the woman, but c'mon, how many cross eyed, headcovering women do we see around here? She's the one who had those blue underarms that one time...".
Ok, so in the end, the police did not have to be called. The neighbors did not have a chance to laugh, and I did not get on the 6 o'clock news. It occurred to me that I might take the ladder off like a sweater instead of a skirt, and ducked my head until it slid off of my shoulders. Sweet Success!
(btw, I have not been on that ladder since. I am tired of painting. And it is raining, so I just play Bejeweled Twist all day instead.)
:)
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Older Women Paintings
My Wondeful Sisters in the Lord!
I LOVE going to other women's homemakey blogs and seeing all the wonderful artwork. I think the pictures of darling young women in beautiful flowing dresses peeling apples or reading a book under a tree appeal to our longing for gentleness, for femininity.
But there is one thing I have noticed....where are the older women who are not the "supporting cast" of the painting but are the HEART of the painting, the subject of it? Where are the middle agers? Our society is obsessed with youth, and there is a lot to be said for the fresh face of innocence, the round cheek, the delicate features without spot or wrinkle. Youth is beautiful...but it might be only surface beauty. What about the beauty that comes from life, from wisdom, from being a Titus 2 woman, who has lived long enough and diligently enough to the Lord to teach the younger women?
For example....
Where are the paintings of a "just past youth" mother in glowing color in her late 30's who is repairing a beloved stuffed toy or watching the studies of the grade school children?
Where is the painting of a beautiful feminine woman in her 40's, shown leaning against a flowering plum tree, gazing into the distance with those wonderful laugh lines crinkling around her dancing eyes as she smiles at a long ago memory.
Where is the 50 year old smiling in delight as she races in flowing garments to embrace her weathered husband?
Where are the paintings of the noble, lovely, God fearing 60 year old, shown in beautiful feminine clothing with a look of sweet, knowing understanding on her face as she listens to her 30 year old daughter who has a troubled look on her face, trying to figure out if the baby is ok?
Maybe you have seen these paintings and I have missed them. If so, please link me! I look in the mirror and see a few sags, a few wrinkles, a few pounds and think "But I am still a woman". I look at my wonderful, blessed mother in her 60's who is the picture of tact and fact, southern grace in every bit of glory, who is beautiful and wonderful. Where is her painting?
I think of the poem my darling cousin wrote for her mother, about the loveliness of her mother's feet. Her mother is an old woman, but is one of the most genteel, graceful women I have EVER EVER met. Her very speech is warm, light, and languid, like a summer day with a gentle breeze. My cousin talked about the beauty of her feet, how the brought the Word, how they walked in soft green grass, how they are a treasure to her. Those are the paintings I long to see. I know what youthful beauty looks like--Precious heart is on the cusp of womanhood. :) I want to see femininity in ALL its ages, from toddling babies to wise old women.
I wish I could paint. I would paint these. But I must rely on those who can, as I do not have the ability to do so.
We women do not stop being feminine when we hit 30 xsmilex. Let us look for, and encourage others to look for, paintings that show that, while charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Let us find the art that shows women who have put on the beauty of the love of God, who might not be the newest peach in the orchard, but time has made the sweetest.
I LOVE going to other women's homemakey blogs and seeing all the wonderful artwork. I think the pictures of darling young women in beautiful flowing dresses peeling apples or reading a book under a tree appeal to our longing for gentleness, for femininity.
But there is one thing I have noticed....where are the older women who are not the "supporting cast" of the painting but are the HEART of the painting, the subject of it? Where are the middle agers? Our society is obsessed with youth, and there is a lot to be said for the fresh face of innocence, the round cheek, the delicate features without spot or wrinkle. Youth is beautiful...but it might be only surface beauty. What about the beauty that comes from life, from wisdom, from being a Titus 2 woman, who has lived long enough and diligently enough to the Lord to teach the younger women?
For example....
Where are the paintings of a "just past youth" mother in glowing color in her late 30's who is repairing a beloved stuffed toy or watching the studies of the grade school children?
Where is the painting of a beautiful feminine woman in her 40's, shown leaning against a flowering plum tree, gazing into the distance with those wonderful laugh lines crinkling around her dancing eyes as she smiles at a long ago memory.
Where is the 50 year old smiling in delight as she races in flowing garments to embrace her weathered husband?
Where are the paintings of the noble, lovely, God fearing 60 year old, shown in beautiful feminine clothing with a look of sweet, knowing understanding on her face as she listens to her 30 year old daughter who has a troubled look on her face, trying to figure out if the baby is ok?
Maybe you have seen these paintings and I have missed them. If so, please link me! I look in the mirror and see a few sags, a few wrinkles, a few pounds and think "But I am still a woman". I look at my wonderful, blessed mother in her 60's who is the picture of tact and fact, southern grace in every bit of glory, who is beautiful and wonderful. Where is her painting?
I think of the poem my darling cousin wrote for her mother, about the loveliness of her mother's feet. Her mother is an old woman, but is one of the most genteel, graceful women I have EVER EVER met. Her very speech is warm, light, and languid, like a summer day with a gentle breeze. My cousin talked about the beauty of her feet, how the brought the Word, how they walked in soft green grass, how they are a treasure to her. Those are the paintings I long to see. I know what youthful beauty looks like--Precious heart is on the cusp of womanhood. :) I want to see femininity in ALL its ages, from toddling babies to wise old women.
I wish I could paint. I would paint these. But I must rely on those who can, as I do not have the ability to do so.
We women do not stop being feminine when we hit 30 xsmilex. Let us look for, and encourage others to look for, paintings that show that, while charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Let us find the art that shows women who have put on the beauty of the love of God, who might not be the newest peach in the orchard, but time has made the sweetest.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Alaska Weather
My BEAUTIFUL sisters in Christ!
Well, I guess with me it is feast or famine...after so long of posting nothing, I have so much I want to talk to you about!
This post is going to be about the recent cold weather in Alaska. Did I say cold? I mean SERIOUSLY cold. I have not gone to town in about two weeks (except to take the folks to the airport). Our coldest was -56 (or somewhere around there) and the warmest has been about -35.
What can you do at those temps? Ummm....Well you can do the "tourist tricks" for one! You can take a cup of HOT coffee (make it as hot as you want) and toss it up in the air. It will "POOF!" freeze and blow away in a cloud of frozen vapor BEFORE it hits the ground. No, seriously!
You can also take a balloon filled with air outside and poke it with a fork and it will stay inflated. You have to do this quickly, because if you wait too long, the air in the balloon condenses and makes it hard to stick a fork in. If you take it back inside, it will just sort of deflate. At no time will it "pop". OH and you can make pretty designs on the balloon itself by lightly pressing your finger tip on it--it makes little star bursts in the latex itself.
You can also chip ice away from the INSIDE of the triple paned windows. You can drive on square tires (your tires get frozen when you park, and when you drive, you can feel the "cathunk, cathunk" of flat sided tires until they warm up and round out). You can freeze a thermometer (I thought we just had a warm spot in our yard, but apparently the thermometer had frozen up....some how that just seems so ironic to me!).
We have something called "ice fog"--it can get incredibly thick and very dangerous. Remember the hot coffee tourist trick I mentioned? Same sort of thing, but this does not blow away. It is made from car exhaust, exhaust from chimneys, etc. The air get so still and so cold, that all that moisture from the exhaust just stays there, near the ground, and builds the more cars that drive. It sure makes the sky pretty though! It diffuses the sun so the sun looks HUGE, and also makes everything have a very soft edge. The scenery is painted in a pale blue light, with hints of pink and yellow and lavender. It is pretty amazing looking.
Here is a link to a webcam that is in Fairbanks where they have a LOT of ice fog. If you look in the next couple of days, you should be able to see it, though they are supposed to be getting warmer temps at some point. http://www.newsminer.com/arcticcam/
We do not have very much daylight yet, so it is hard to catch when it is light there. But if you can see it, it will be one of the coldest looking views you might have ever seen!
It is too cold to snow, btw. I have never lived anywhere where it had to WARM UP to snow. That is still just weird to me! hee hee!
That's it for the Alaska weather report! Stay tuned to this station 4 months from now when we will still have snow and ice (though hopefully not be on the wrong side of zero degrees!)!
Well, I guess with me it is feast or famine...after so long of posting nothing, I have so much I want to talk to you about!
This post is going to be about the recent cold weather in Alaska. Did I say cold? I mean SERIOUSLY cold. I have not gone to town in about two weeks (except to take the folks to the airport). Our coldest was -56 (or somewhere around there) and the warmest has been about -35.
What can you do at those temps? Ummm....Well you can do the "tourist tricks" for one! You can take a cup of HOT coffee (make it as hot as you want) and toss it up in the air. It will "POOF!" freeze and blow away in a cloud of frozen vapor BEFORE it hits the ground. No, seriously!
You can also take a balloon filled with air outside and poke it with a fork and it will stay inflated. You have to do this quickly, because if you wait too long, the air in the balloon condenses and makes it hard to stick a fork in. If you take it back inside, it will just sort of deflate. At no time will it "pop". OH and you can make pretty designs on the balloon itself by lightly pressing your finger tip on it--it makes little star bursts in the latex itself.
You can also chip ice away from the INSIDE of the triple paned windows. You can drive on square tires (your tires get frozen when you park, and when you drive, you can feel the "cathunk, cathunk" of flat sided tires until they warm up and round out). You can freeze a thermometer (I thought we just had a warm spot in our yard, but apparently the thermometer had frozen up....some how that just seems so ironic to me!).
We have something called "ice fog"--it can get incredibly thick and very dangerous. Remember the hot coffee tourist trick I mentioned? Same sort of thing, but this does not blow away. It is made from car exhaust, exhaust from chimneys, etc. The air get so still and so cold, that all that moisture from the exhaust just stays there, near the ground, and builds the more cars that drive. It sure makes the sky pretty though! It diffuses the sun so the sun looks HUGE, and also makes everything have a very soft edge. The scenery is painted in a pale blue light, with hints of pink and yellow and lavender. It is pretty amazing looking.
Here is a link to a webcam that is in Fairbanks where they have a LOT of ice fog. If you look in the next couple of days, you should be able to see it, though they are supposed to be getting warmer temps at some point. http://www.newsminer.com/arcticcam/
We do not have very much daylight yet, so it is hard to catch when it is light there. But if you can see it, it will be one of the coldest looking views you might have ever seen!
It is too cold to snow, btw. I have never lived anywhere where it had to WARM UP to snow. That is still just weird to me! hee hee!
That's it for the Alaska weather report! Stay tuned to this station 4 months from now when we will still have snow and ice (though hopefully not be on the wrong side of zero degrees!)!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Various thoughts and updates
Last night TWS and I went out on a date. We have the single most phenomenal babysitter EVER. Her name is Michaela. She is incredibly poised, looks adults in the eye in an open and not sullen manner, and washes the dishes when she babysits. Honestly, I would adopt her if I could!
Our dates are very very mundane. And I love that! We go out to supper, either go shooting or go shopping, and usually end up at the bookstore getting Godiva Choc Cheesecake for me, and whatever he wants.
I love the comfortableness of our relationship. I am thoroughly blessed.
We bought some Christmas presents, including something for my folks. I want to tell you all about it, but my mom might accidentally read the blog and that would blow the surprise!
I am not sure if all y'all know, but I headcover. You have probably seen it in some of the pics I have posted. I do not feel that one must always headcover. And last night, because we were on a date, I considered not covering (not that TWS cares one way or the other, but frankly my hair was kinda cute!). I decided to put it on anyway, and I am glad I did. I ran into our neighbors who seem very nice but are most definitely witches (as in, that is what they proclaim as their religion, not that I am being catty). She had on her cape and amulets or whatever, and I was standing in my headcovering. We said hello briefly, I talked to her husband for a moment, and then it was over. However, I was very thankful to be wearing my faith when I ran into someone who was wearing their beliefs. I was thankful that I was ready "in season and out of season...". It was the Holy Spirit who arranged me to be prepared...frankly I was just tickled with my hair!
(Thank You Lord for making me ready for that one brief moment where I could be a witness for You!)
Speaking of hair, the no poo is going REALLY well. I still use mane and tail conditioner, and it still helps if I am under the water when I scrub. But I am very much enjoying my hair. I think I will keep with the conditioner only regimen.
Back to my folks coming to visit....I am trying to figure out what I can get done ahead of time! I am very eager to make a lot of candy this season. SHAW and I have been pouring over blogs of numminess. I want to make pies, cakes, etc. However, I am also finding out that after the first two days of looking at very sweet, sugary, rich foods, I am finding myself actually wanting to bake and eat some very simple bread.
So I have baked bread and dug out my science experiments (AKA my sourdough starters) from the back of the fridge and am going to try to get them going again. If I cannot, then I still have time to order starter from king arthur (the food blog there is beyond!). My plan when my folks visit is to have very simple breakfasts of cheese, bread, fruit. That will keep our blood sugars from going so wonky, and will also free up the rest of the day for numminess :-).
I have found that eating protein only for breakfast (or something with a TON of fat in it), feels so much better. No crashes, no spikes. This is a FAR cry from what i have preferred my whole life. Even if I woke up at 2 in the afternoon, I wanted something light and sweet before eating anything substantial. Now I pretty much have either chicken, cheese, pork or moose for breakfast. Just that and coffee. Took me a while to get used to it, but man, the day goes so much better that way!
Now, one odd thing is that if I eat something that is SUPER high in fat, like donuts, I am not hungry for hours and hours. If I eat waffles or pancakes or diet shakes, I am hungry in about 20-40 minutes. But donuts keep me going to past lunch. Maybe because your body wants fat for breakfast? I don't know. I just know that donuts do the trick. I have even thought of going on a donut diet! I knew a lady who lost 40 lbs eating only chocolate. She was even on one of those morning shows! Probably not the healthiest, but MAN what a nifty way to diet!
Speaking of food, I have some left over chicken from Chilis with my name on it just crying out to me in the kitchen!
Our dates are very very mundane. And I love that! We go out to supper, either go shooting or go shopping, and usually end up at the bookstore getting Godiva Choc Cheesecake for me, and whatever he wants.
I love the comfortableness of our relationship. I am thoroughly blessed.
We bought some Christmas presents, including something for my folks. I want to tell you all about it, but my mom might accidentally read the blog and that would blow the surprise!
I am not sure if all y'all know, but I headcover. You have probably seen it in some of the pics I have posted. I do not feel that one must always headcover. And last night, because we were on a date, I considered not covering (not that TWS cares one way or the other, but frankly my hair was kinda cute!). I decided to put it on anyway, and I am glad I did. I ran into our neighbors who seem very nice but are most definitely witches (as in, that is what they proclaim as their religion, not that I am being catty). She had on her cape and amulets or whatever, and I was standing in my headcovering. We said hello briefly, I talked to her husband for a moment, and then it was over. However, I was very thankful to be wearing my faith when I ran into someone who was wearing their beliefs. I was thankful that I was ready "in season and out of season...". It was the Holy Spirit who arranged me to be prepared...frankly I was just tickled with my hair!
(Thank You Lord for making me ready for that one brief moment where I could be a witness for You!)
Speaking of hair, the no poo is going REALLY well. I still use mane and tail conditioner, and it still helps if I am under the water when I scrub. But I am very much enjoying my hair. I think I will keep with the conditioner only regimen.
Back to my folks coming to visit....I am trying to figure out what I can get done ahead of time! I am very eager to make a lot of candy this season. SHAW and I have been pouring over blogs of numminess. I want to make pies, cakes, etc. However, I am also finding out that after the first two days of looking at very sweet, sugary, rich foods, I am finding myself actually wanting to bake and eat some very simple bread.
So I have baked bread and dug out my science experiments (AKA my sourdough starters) from the back of the fridge and am going to try to get them going again. If I cannot, then I still have time to order starter from king arthur (the food blog there is beyond!). My plan when my folks visit is to have very simple breakfasts of cheese, bread, fruit. That will keep our blood sugars from going so wonky, and will also free up the rest of the day for numminess :-).
I have found that eating protein only for breakfast (or something with a TON of fat in it), feels so much better. No crashes, no spikes. This is a FAR cry from what i have preferred my whole life. Even if I woke up at 2 in the afternoon, I wanted something light and sweet before eating anything substantial. Now I pretty much have either chicken, cheese, pork or moose for breakfast. Just that and coffee. Took me a while to get used to it, but man, the day goes so much better that way!
Now, one odd thing is that if I eat something that is SUPER high in fat, like donuts, I am not hungry for hours and hours. If I eat waffles or pancakes or diet shakes, I am hungry in about 20-40 minutes. But donuts keep me going to past lunch. Maybe because your body wants fat for breakfast? I don't know. I just know that donuts do the trick. I have even thought of going on a donut diet! I knew a lady who lost 40 lbs eating only chocolate. She was even on one of those morning shows! Probably not the healthiest, but MAN what a nifty way to diet!
Speaking of food, I have some left over chicken from Chilis with my name on it just crying out to me in the kitchen!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Going no poo
I have been conducting an experiment the past week about goind "no poo", or using no shampoo. I MUST wash my hair every night if I intend to be presentable the next day. I might can limp through if I put cornstarch on my hairbrush, but really I need to wash my hair.
However, it is firmly winter and my hair was exceedingly dry at the ends to where I was getting split ends. That almost never happens to me, so I knew the weather was taking its toll.
There was a bit of a spiritual quandry at this realization as I had just been blessed with a check from my mother. I WANTED to spend it on hair cuts and perms with Precious, but, long story short, I realized that it was better if I did not spend it on that. Instead I put it to meat to be used for the family.
However, that still left me with raggedy hair. So I had my 12 yr old cut it. Yep. I had Precious cut my hair. It was only the second time (iirc) in my adult life that my hair was cut at home. It was the first time she had EVER cut hair. BUT it is only hair, right? So I let her go to it.
With careful coaching (which is kind of hilarious since I had no idea what I was doing either), I talked Prec. through the hair cut. She did a phenomenal job! She has a very good eye, and there was very little difference or bad angles from one side to the other. I had her just under cut it, then cut the other layers longer, but the cut was blunt. The next morning I decided i wanted a bit of an angle, so I cut the angle myself (should have let her do it though!).
Now, I thought that going to get perms together would be an excellent fun thing. But I honestly think she got so much out of being able to actually cut my hair. I showed I trusted her, she got a VERY important job, and she got a feeling of satisfaction.
Anyway, since my hair was so raggedly before she cut it (and because I was talking to SHAW about what to do about HER hair), I started researching how people go "no poo". After much reading I found that, as many things on the internet, there is a lot of enthusiasm for a process that is only marginally successful. I read enough to know that washing with baking soda was going to be very irritating to my scalp, and washing with apple cider vinegar was not going to "cut it". There was so much disappointment and confusion, that it almost seemed like only a few people hit the exact right combination (after weeks "detox" where their scalp produces so much oil that they could not really go out). I heard enough references to "barbie hair" that I knew that was not for me.
Now, I have a dear friend who washes her daughter's hair with conditioner ONLY. Her daughters have mixed heritage, and the ringlets on her youngest are softer than silk with just using conditioner.
So I decided to try conditioner only on a week that I did not need to go out too much. I figured I would try it, day by day, and just stop if it does not work. I also wanted to try out what I had heard. Some people are so excited about a new thing, that they post "I have been going 'no poo' for a day and I love it!". I wanted to post this as a document of my trial of no poo--for good or ill.
I must say I am incredibly, and pleasantly, surprised with the results SO FAR. I use mane and tail conditioner. I have been doing this for several days, not quite a week. So this is not a definitive conclusion. But just to keep you abreast....
The downsides of conditioner only are three:
A) It seems to use a lot of conditioner because there are no bubbles. I think the action of scrubbing your head is the main source of cleaning. At first I found myself using twice as much conditioner as normal to "wash" my scalp. I am learning, however, that if I wash my hair with the conditioner while under the water, I feel that the conditioner is doing a better job at cleaning.
B) As alluded to above, it takes some scrubbing. With shampoo, there are so many cleaners that they seem to act like "scrubbing bubbles" to clean your scalp without much effort. I FEEL that I need to scrub harder.
c) There is not the feeling I am used to after my hair is dried after the washing. (however, read below where I talk about when I washed my hair with shampoo to see the difference).
The upsides of CO (conditioner only) are these
a) Less drying chemicals. Conditioner is supposed to add moisture and coating. Shampoo is supposed to strip things away. Stripping away means that your hair is unprotected.
b) My hair SEEMS to hold a curl better and for longer. I want to experiment with this further however, so do not think of this as a definite statement.
c) My hair STYLES better. This is for absolute certainty.
After many days with CO, I tried shampoo. I wanted to see if there is a difference in how my hair behaves, but to be honest, I also felt that I wanted my hair to FEEL more clean.
For many days wiht the CO, my hair had looked very shiny, healthy, bouncy and CLEAN. It looked clean, but it felt different. So two days ago I tried only shampoo. I looked at it as a scientific experiment: I wanted to see what my hair would do. My scalp did feel much "cleaner" BUT it did not look any better at all, in fact, my hair seemed to be greasier later in the day than with CO (this also needs to be repeated to make sure it is actually because of the shampoo, and not because of hormones, etc).
Also, my hair was an absolute NIGHTMARE to brush and style the next day. I have started brushing my hair 100 times in the morning--50 times upside down and 50 times right side up. When using CO, my hair might be slightly unruly for about the first 25 brushes, but after that, my hair suddenly calmed down, accepted the brushing without problem, and my hair looked shiny and healthy. When I brushed my hair after shampoo, I kid you not that the static made some of my hair stand out almost 90 degrees from my head. It was one mass of static and unprotected hair. It was a pain in the patootie to bush and style.
I decided that the feeling I got from shampoo is from being used to the feeling of my hair and scalp being stripped of oil. It feels lighter (cleaner) but it did not LOOK any cleaner and it was a pain to brush.
I washed my hair the following night with CO and the next morning, my brushing was not full of static. It looked clean, though it did not feel as light, and behaved well.
So far, I am going to keep going with the CO method. I am also going to try a shampoo every once in a while just to see what happens. If after a considerable length of time (say 3-4 weeks) of daily or near daily CO with the rare shampoo, my hair still looks good, then I will consider this the best for my hair. If not, I will simply go back to shampoo--I am not opposed to shampoo, just wanting to find out what is best for my hair and scalp. It appeals to me to not be battling my own oil production, but rather to achieve balance so that my follicles are not under duress. I am not going to keep this up if my hair looks oily or dirty :-).
I will keep you posted!
(FWIW--my hair is straight as a board, baby fine, but I have a TON of it. I use a boar bristle brush. I have an antler comb and a plastic comb, though I usually use the plastic comb because it is usually right there in my reach. I started rolling my hair in hot rollers. I use whatever shampoo I have, and mane and tail conditioner. I use a generous squirt of paul Mitchell hair sculpting lotion and 2-3 pumps of paul mitchell smoothing "super skinny serum", which is excellent for adding shine to hair. I take this handful of "stuff" and run it through my hair, then brush, then roll. I also use a decent amount of hairspray to hold the curl (my hair HATES to keep a curl). I will hopefully post pics soon).
However, it is firmly winter and my hair was exceedingly dry at the ends to where I was getting split ends. That almost never happens to me, so I knew the weather was taking its toll.
There was a bit of a spiritual quandry at this realization as I had just been blessed with a check from my mother. I WANTED to spend it on hair cuts and perms with Precious, but, long story short, I realized that it was better if I did not spend it on that. Instead I put it to meat to be used for the family.
However, that still left me with raggedy hair. So I had my 12 yr old cut it. Yep. I had Precious cut my hair. It was only the second time (iirc) in my adult life that my hair was cut at home. It was the first time she had EVER cut hair. BUT it is only hair, right? So I let her go to it.
With careful coaching (which is kind of hilarious since I had no idea what I was doing either), I talked Prec. through the hair cut. She did a phenomenal job! She has a very good eye, and there was very little difference or bad angles from one side to the other. I had her just under cut it, then cut the other layers longer, but the cut was blunt. The next morning I decided i wanted a bit of an angle, so I cut the angle myself (should have let her do it though!).
Now, I thought that going to get perms together would be an excellent fun thing. But I honestly think she got so much out of being able to actually cut my hair. I showed I trusted her, she got a VERY important job, and she got a feeling of satisfaction.
Anyway, since my hair was so raggedly before she cut it (and because I was talking to SHAW about what to do about HER hair), I started researching how people go "no poo". After much reading I found that, as many things on the internet, there is a lot of enthusiasm for a process that is only marginally successful. I read enough to know that washing with baking soda was going to be very irritating to my scalp, and washing with apple cider vinegar was not going to "cut it". There was so much disappointment and confusion, that it almost seemed like only a few people hit the exact right combination (after weeks "detox" where their scalp produces so much oil that they could not really go out). I heard enough references to "barbie hair" that I knew that was not for me.
Now, I have a dear friend who washes her daughter's hair with conditioner ONLY. Her daughters have mixed heritage, and the ringlets on her youngest are softer than silk with just using conditioner.
So I decided to try conditioner only on a week that I did not need to go out too much. I figured I would try it, day by day, and just stop if it does not work. I also wanted to try out what I had heard. Some people are so excited about a new thing, that they post "I have been going 'no poo' for a day and I love it!". I wanted to post this as a document of my trial of no poo--for good or ill.
I must say I am incredibly, and pleasantly, surprised with the results SO FAR. I use mane and tail conditioner. I have been doing this for several days, not quite a week. So this is not a definitive conclusion. But just to keep you abreast....
The downsides of conditioner only are three:
A) It seems to use a lot of conditioner because there are no bubbles. I think the action of scrubbing your head is the main source of cleaning. At first I found myself using twice as much conditioner as normal to "wash" my scalp. I am learning, however, that if I wash my hair with the conditioner while under the water, I feel that the conditioner is doing a better job at cleaning.
B) As alluded to above, it takes some scrubbing. With shampoo, there are so many cleaners that they seem to act like "scrubbing bubbles" to clean your scalp without much effort. I FEEL that I need to scrub harder.
c) There is not the feeling I am used to after my hair is dried after the washing. (however, read below where I talk about when I washed my hair with shampoo to see the difference).
The upsides of CO (conditioner only) are these
a) Less drying chemicals. Conditioner is supposed to add moisture and coating. Shampoo is supposed to strip things away. Stripping away means that your hair is unprotected.
b) My hair SEEMS to hold a curl better and for longer. I want to experiment with this further however, so do not think of this as a definite statement.
c) My hair STYLES better. This is for absolute certainty.
After many days with CO, I tried shampoo. I wanted to see if there is a difference in how my hair behaves, but to be honest, I also felt that I wanted my hair to FEEL more clean.
For many days wiht the CO, my hair had looked very shiny, healthy, bouncy and CLEAN. It looked clean, but it felt different. So two days ago I tried only shampoo. I looked at it as a scientific experiment: I wanted to see what my hair would do. My scalp did feel much "cleaner" BUT it did not look any better at all, in fact, my hair seemed to be greasier later in the day than with CO (this also needs to be repeated to make sure it is actually because of the shampoo, and not because of hormones, etc).
Also, my hair was an absolute NIGHTMARE to brush and style the next day. I have started brushing my hair 100 times in the morning--50 times upside down and 50 times right side up. When using CO, my hair might be slightly unruly for about the first 25 brushes, but after that, my hair suddenly calmed down, accepted the brushing without problem, and my hair looked shiny and healthy. When I brushed my hair after shampoo, I kid you not that the static made some of my hair stand out almost 90 degrees from my head. It was one mass of static and unprotected hair. It was a pain in the patootie to bush and style.
I decided that the feeling I got from shampoo is from being used to the feeling of my hair and scalp being stripped of oil. It feels lighter (cleaner) but it did not LOOK any cleaner and it was a pain to brush.
I washed my hair the following night with CO and the next morning, my brushing was not full of static. It looked clean, though it did not feel as light, and behaved well.
So far, I am going to keep going with the CO method. I am also going to try a shampoo every once in a while just to see what happens. If after a considerable length of time (say 3-4 weeks) of daily or near daily CO with the rare shampoo, my hair still looks good, then I will consider this the best for my hair. If not, I will simply go back to shampoo--I am not opposed to shampoo, just wanting to find out what is best for my hair and scalp. It appeals to me to not be battling my own oil production, but rather to achieve balance so that my follicles are not under duress. I am not going to keep this up if my hair looks oily or dirty :-).
I will keep you posted!
(FWIW--my hair is straight as a board, baby fine, but I have a TON of it. I use a boar bristle brush. I have an antler comb and a plastic comb, though I usually use the plastic comb because it is usually right there in my reach. I started rolling my hair in hot rollers. I use whatever shampoo I have, and mane and tail conditioner. I use a generous squirt of paul Mitchell hair sculpting lotion and 2-3 pumps of paul mitchell smoothing "super skinny serum", which is excellent for adding shine to hair. I take this handful of "stuff" and run it through my hair, then brush, then roll. I also use a decent amount of hairspray to hold the curl (my hair HATES to keep a curl). I will hopefully post pics soon).
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
APRONS!
My beautiful sisters!
I FINALLY got pictures taken of the aprons I made for the bazaar! (Actually these pictures are the ones I brought home--I sold out of other patterns I had brought).
I got out TWS's light box thing. I must say that it was a bear to set up! I would have liked a LOT more light, but this will do for now :-). I would love a plexi set up where the walls of the box are actually brightly lit. Sounds like a job for Super Sweetie!
I am not trying to brag, but I REALLY love these aprons. I have two that I have kept (plus one for Precious) and they just always look nice. I can throw them in the washer and dryer with anything (no special washing) and they come out looking beautiful! I feel very pretty in them when I am cooking or scrubbing out the bathroom or whatever :-).
This is the size of the adult aprons. That is me, but I had not done my hair, so I did not let Precious take a picture of my head hee hee!
Here is Precious modeling the little girl's aprons. She is tiny, but the aprons are tinier!
Here are some adult aprons
I FINALLY got pictures taken of the aprons I made for the bazaar! (Actually these pictures are the ones I brought home--I sold out of other patterns I had brought).
I got out TWS's light box thing. I must say that it was a bear to set up! I would have liked a LOT more light, but this will do for now :-). I would love a plexi set up where the walls of the box are actually brightly lit. Sounds like a job for Super Sweetie!
I am not trying to brag, but I REALLY love these aprons. I have two that I have kept (plus one for Precious) and they just always look nice. I can throw them in the washer and dryer with anything (no special washing) and they come out looking beautiful! I feel very pretty in them when I am cooking or scrubbing out the bathroom or whatever :-).
This is the size of the adult aprons. That is me, but I had not done my hair, so I did not let Precious take a picture of my head hee hee!
Here is Precious modeling the little girl's aprons. She is tiny, but the aprons are tinier!
Here are some adult aprons
More adult aprons
Here are the little girl aprons.
They sold very well at the bazaar. I definitely cannot complain! The hardest thing was convincing customers that these were to WEAR EVERY DAY to keep their clothing clean :-).
Here are the little girl aprons.
They sold very well at the bazaar. I definitely cannot complain! The hardest thing was convincing customers that these were to WEAR EVERY DAY to keep their clothing clean :-).
I am grateful to the Lord for how much ended up selling! It makes you feel good to know that people like what you have made.
I also brought soap, as my one loyal customer convinced me to. That also sold well! I will post pictures of the soap in the next entry. I sold more with the aprons and the soap than I used to with soap and other things (milk bath, bath fizzies, etc), and it was a LOT less work.
Did I tell you that Precious made earrings to sell at the bazaar? She used sculpey clay and baked it and made adorable earrings which she sold for a dollar a pair. I think she must have taken over 70 pairs to the bazaar! (She hand lettered a sign in crayon and put each pair in a little baggie and everything. She was ready for the bazaar DAYS before I was!) I praise the Lord for His kindness to her! At first she was not selling anything--just one pair--and she was SO upset. We had a talk, and I prayed that the Lord would allow her to sell more, and suddenly she was swamped! She ended up making about $40!!
Anyway, thank you for your prayers and well wishes for the bazaar! It was a blast and I kinda wish I had made more aprons and signed up for another bazaar. The season here is short. This bazaar was a great one--low table fee and pretty well visited. There are other bigger ones that I would have liked to have tried as well just for grins. Maybe next year!
God bless you my sisters in the Lord!
PS, the formatting on this post is atrocious, but I cannot figure out how to fix it! The top photo is supposed to include my other arm AND there are supposed to be spaces between the paragraphs! Sorry about that!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Bits and Pieces....
My wonderful, beautiful sisters!!!
Just a few bits and pieces....
1) The Bazaar: ACK! Only three more days to work on the aprons!!! :-) I almost have enough aprons done to take pictures of, if anyone is still interested in seeing them.
--After I had been scouring Jo Ann's for I have no idea HOW long, The Wonder Sweetie found some stickers that will be perfect for sealing the soap for the bazaar.
--Precious heart has her earrings she is going to sell all bagged, and her hand lettered, crayoned sign all ready (she is such a cutie pie!). She is REALLY excited!
2) Nuts for donuts!! I made donuts the other morning with biscuit dough. I am sure everyone does this, and I have done it before, but I had forgotten how easy and cheap it was! Everyone loved them and they will save us a ton of money (we like donuts on Saturday morning ). I made chocolate icing, glaze, and maple. The chocolate did not turn out right--I think we need some chocolate flavoring in there to REALLY make it a good, deep chocolate flavor. Or maybe just a bit of coffee to sharpen the flavor some....Any suggestion? The maple and the glazed were a HUGE hit though.
3) Prayers Please! Need prayers for a cousin's husband of mine and their family. He was hunting in a tree stand, fell out, and broke both ankles and both wrists, as well as various other bones!! He had taken a class on how to fall, but that does not help when you are that far up. He was alone and had to crawl on his elbows and knees to get to his truck!!! God have mercy! He was medevac'd out and is recovering, but I know that the road is going to be tough for this active man. Please pray blessings, peace, quick healing, and calmness on him, my cousin, and their children.
**NOTE! Tell your men to WEAR A HARNESS when hunting in tree stands! There are THREE (count em, three) men between my family and The Wonder Sweetie's who have fallen out and have had serious injury over the years. No excuse not to wear a harness.
4) A Toasty Fire I think today is PERFECT for stoking up the woodstove! It is zero degrees this morning!!! We had a Chinook (a warm wind) blow through on Saturday, melting our previous snow. Then it started snowing that night, so we have at least 4 inches of fresh new snow!
5) Calories Wanted! What are the most calorie packed foods you can think of? Little Man just came off of a growth spurt, so his eating is way back down. But he keeps growing UP, not OUT and he is rail-thin. Maybe it is winter coming, or maybe the southern mother in me that wants to see him a little more healthy, but I am determined to get a pound or two on him.
6) Your Name Is Safe In Our House-- I have that posted on my desk, and I reread it this morning. It is such a wonderful thought--that even when you are not at someone's house, that you are still "safe" from gossip or slander. I have it posted because it convicts me to make sure that I am not gossipping (even in the name of "information" or "venting" or whatever).
7) Election Selection: Ladies, make your choices of who you are going to vote for in ANY election CAREFULLY. Do not be swayed by words, nor by party lines. The Bible says that by their fruits you shall know them--look to the fruits of those whom you are considering and see if they are godly or not. Of course, no one is perfect, but there are some issues that are just "deal breakers" in terms of what the Word says.
We all have special issues that we want addressed, but we cannot allow ourselves to be persuaded by words that we want to hear--we have to make sure that we are not like the weak willed women in the Bible who are gullible (2Tim 3:6), nor like those who have itching ears (2 Tim 4:3). We women CAN be especially swayed by emotions, so we have to be EXTRA careful to use sound doctrine in everything. Do research on any and all candidates from president of the PTA to president of the USA.
As for me, I have not decided who to vote for. I know a few whom I cannot vote for due to research I have done, but do not know who I might vote for.
Have a wonderful day ladies! God bless you all!!
Just a few bits and pieces....
1) The Bazaar: ACK! Only three more days to work on the aprons!!! :-) I almost have enough aprons done to take pictures of, if anyone is still interested in seeing them.
--After I had been scouring Jo Ann's for I have no idea HOW long, The Wonder Sweetie found some stickers that will be perfect for sealing the soap for the bazaar.
--Precious heart has her earrings she is going to sell all bagged, and her hand lettered, crayoned sign all ready (she is such a cutie pie!). She is REALLY excited!
2) Nuts for donuts!! I made donuts the other morning with biscuit dough. I am sure everyone does this, and I have done it before, but I had forgotten how easy and cheap it was! Everyone loved them and they will save us a ton of money (we like donuts on Saturday morning ). I made chocolate icing, glaze, and maple. The chocolate did not turn out right--I think we need some chocolate flavoring in there to REALLY make it a good, deep chocolate flavor. Or maybe just a bit of coffee to sharpen the flavor some....Any suggestion? The maple and the glazed were a HUGE hit though.
3) Prayers Please! Need prayers for a cousin's husband of mine and their family. He was hunting in a tree stand, fell out, and broke both ankles and both wrists, as well as various other bones!! He had taken a class on how to fall, but that does not help when you are that far up. He was alone and had to crawl on his elbows and knees to get to his truck!!! God have mercy! He was medevac'd out and is recovering, but I know that the road is going to be tough for this active man. Please pray blessings, peace, quick healing, and calmness on him, my cousin, and their children.
**NOTE! Tell your men to WEAR A HARNESS when hunting in tree stands! There are THREE (count em, three) men between my family and The Wonder Sweetie's who have fallen out and have had serious injury over the years. No excuse not to wear a harness.
4) A Toasty Fire I think today is PERFECT for stoking up the woodstove! It is zero degrees this morning!!! We had a Chinook (a warm wind) blow through on Saturday, melting our previous snow. Then it started snowing that night, so we have at least 4 inches of fresh new snow!
5) Calories Wanted! What are the most calorie packed foods you can think of? Little Man just came off of a growth spurt, so his eating is way back down. But he keeps growing UP, not OUT and he is rail-thin. Maybe it is winter coming, or maybe the southern mother in me that wants to see him a little more healthy, but I am determined to get a pound or two on him.
6) Your Name Is Safe In Our House-- I have that posted on my desk, and I reread it this morning. It is such a wonderful thought--that even when you are not at someone's house, that you are still "safe" from gossip or slander. I have it posted because it convicts me to make sure that I am not gossipping (even in the name of "information" or "venting" or whatever).
7) Election Selection: Ladies, make your choices of who you are going to vote for in ANY election CAREFULLY. Do not be swayed by words, nor by party lines. The Bible says that by their fruits you shall know them--look to the fruits of those whom you are considering and see if they are godly or not. Of course, no one is perfect, but there are some issues that are just "deal breakers" in terms of what the Word says.
We all have special issues that we want addressed, but we cannot allow ourselves to be persuaded by words that we want to hear--we have to make sure that we are not like the weak willed women in the Bible who are gullible (2Tim 3:6), nor like those who have itching ears (2 Tim 4:3). We women CAN be especially swayed by emotions, so we have to be EXTRA careful to use sound doctrine in everything. Do research on any and all candidates from president of the PTA to president of the USA.
As for me, I have not decided who to vote for. I know a few whom I cannot vote for due to research I have done, but do not know who I might vote for.
Have a wonderful day ladies! God bless you all!!
Monday, September 29, 2008
A note....
My wonderful sisters, given to me in grace.....
You know, I seem to follow deep posts with lighter ones. :-)
You may not know that I do not have any biological sisters. I have a brother (whom I love DEARLY...he is definitely the golden son of the family :-) ). But I sort of have had a little desire to have a sister, especially in these later years.
But then I realized that I HAVE sisters. I have sisters in Christ. Now, to many, that is just words "Brother Joe and Sister Sue". But to me, those are NOT just words. To me, that is a promise, a blessing. I have sisters! I have many sisters!
I have Sisters in Christ who are also related to me in some way (Jeninlaw, Colastie, Precious Heart, among others). I have Sisters in Christ who are also friends of my heart. And I have Sisters in Christ whom I have never met, but who I still ponder and consider and pray for.
That makes me happy :-).
I made an incredible recipe the other day out of a cookbook called "Just 4 Things". I got it from Jo Anns (for some reason, craft stores seem to have great cookbooks that are cheap and colorful--my kinda cookbook!). It was a roast that used a lot of onions and then a Guinness Stout and cooked for hours. I used an arm roast, which is pretty tough I think normally (as far as I know it is anyway....i am SO bad about knowing which meat cut is good!). But this recipe made it literally melt in your mouth. It was altogether pleasant!
I am eager to get this book-type thing about anxiety disorders (OCD, panic disorder, and chronic anxiety disorder, etc) set up. I am going to try to get copies printed, but I also want to put everything on the web. The Lord healed me for free, and I want to provide the information He gave me for free to others. I am not sure if a website or a blog is better. I am not sure if it is better if I restrict it to those who pm me first OR if I should just leave it out in public. I am not sure if I should just have the website with no posting, or if I should have a forum as well (forums can be pretty touchy.). I have no idea how the best way is to present this information, and would gladly take input if anyone has a suggestion.
We got our first snow this weekend. Not enough to play in, but enough to let us know that winter is here :-). I am excited about building fires in the woodstove. I really love that! We homeschool in that room, and my sewing machine is there, so it is all tucked in and cozy, a room for the most blessed of homemaking and home keeping and home experiencing. I just need a (very small) loveseat to go in there because we do not have any really comfortable seating except a rocking chair.
Please pray for Colastie and The Colonel as they travel to get more tests done on Colastie. The Lord has been working in our lives with Colastie's illness for years, and the blessings have been too numerous to count! Please pray that He will continue to give her improving health for many years to come!
I cannot wait to try my tomatoes that we finished inside. I have some tiny transparent yellow ones, some very green (they are supposed to be green!) ones, a dark burgundy one, and a few red ones that are not smooth, but are sort of ...... can't describe it. Kind of pleated looking.
OH! And I went out and dug up potatoes! I use potatoes as bedding plants because they are cheap and big lol. Frankly I was about out of giggles for how un-summerlike this summer was, but TWS told me that I needed to go dig up the potatoes and see what there was. Yeah well....sigh....
So one evening, he dug up a few and he got several potatoes! Then i knew I was not getting out of this without me getting in there and digging up a few. So the other day I dug up as many as I could. WOWOWOWOOWOWOOWOW! What a bountiful harvest of yukon gold and purple potatoes! And digging for them was actually kinda fun :-). It was like a treasure hunt. Now, when you plant a potato, at least up here, the one you plant sometimes just turns into icky goo....ugh. So it was a high stakes treasure hunt--would I find a little purple gem? A bit of yukon gold? Or gooey toxic slime? I wore gloves lolol.
Mostly the dirt did not stick to the potatoes, so when you unearthed them, they looked so pretty! It was really a blessing. Now I have no idea what to do with them! I do not like mashed potatoes, and these are too small to cut into french fries. But I think I am going to dice them and oven roast them...the family likes that :-).
Ok, my dear sisters, it is time for me to get BUSY. I have some sewing to do! OH that reminds me! Many years ago I used to make and sell soaps, milk bath, bath salts, etc at bazaars around here. I dressed up in costume (the one I wore to the Victorian tea). It was fun but hard work. Up here there is a really independent spirit, plus not a lot of turn over in people. So after the novelty of you wears off, the same people who go to the same bazaars know what you sell and may not come by the table to see if you have anything new. We stopped doing this a couple of years ago. Just was not worth the hassel of doing the bazaars.
BUT I have one customer who has been faithful all these years. Her husband, apparently, does not want to use any soap but the one I make (it is REALLY REALLY moisturizing. I mean REALLY). So a couple times during the year, she buys whole batches of soap from me. :-). She just recently got a couple of other people buying the soap as well! I had also mentioned to her on the phone that I was going to do a bazaar. When I delivered the soap to her she was SO excited! She said "If you don't mind, I want to volunteer to sell the soap for you at the bazaar!". She had told lots of people that that was her plan! I felt so bad when I said "Ummm.....I am not selling soap at the bazaar, I am selling aprons.". She looked stunned! I said "But you are my only customer!". We had a good chuckle about that, and she informed me that I do not do a good job of selling my soap and that she needs to sell it for me because I am too modest about it, but she has no problem gushing over it to other people--she cracks me up! :-)
SO....it looks like I might be selling aprons at one end of the table and making soap for her to sell at the other end! She has so much energy, it will be a blast to have her keeping me company :-).
So I need to get to sewing the aprons. I am really excited about them because I have not seen anything similar, even online! We will see how they go at the bazaar! If they do not sell, people can expect a lot of aprons at Christmas lolol. :-).
You know, I seem to follow deep posts with lighter ones. :-)
You may not know that I do not have any biological sisters. I have a brother (whom I love DEARLY...he is definitely the golden son of the family :-) ). But I sort of have had a little desire to have a sister, especially in these later years.
But then I realized that I HAVE sisters. I have sisters in Christ. Now, to many, that is just words "Brother Joe and Sister Sue". But to me, those are NOT just words. To me, that is a promise, a blessing. I have sisters! I have many sisters!
I have Sisters in Christ who are also related to me in some way (Jeninlaw, Colastie, Precious Heart, among others). I have Sisters in Christ who are also friends of my heart. And I have Sisters in Christ whom I have never met, but who I still ponder and consider and pray for.
That makes me happy :-).
I made an incredible recipe the other day out of a cookbook called "Just 4 Things". I got it from Jo Anns (for some reason, craft stores seem to have great cookbooks that are cheap and colorful--my kinda cookbook!). It was a roast that used a lot of onions and then a Guinness Stout and cooked for hours. I used an arm roast, which is pretty tough I think normally (as far as I know it is anyway....i am SO bad about knowing which meat cut is good!). But this recipe made it literally melt in your mouth. It was altogether pleasant!
I am eager to get this book-type thing about anxiety disorders (OCD, panic disorder, and chronic anxiety disorder, etc) set up. I am going to try to get copies printed, but I also want to put everything on the web. The Lord healed me for free, and I want to provide the information He gave me for free to others. I am not sure if a website or a blog is better. I am not sure if it is better if I restrict it to those who pm me first OR if I should just leave it out in public. I am not sure if I should just have the website with no posting, or if I should have a forum as well (forums can be pretty touchy.). I have no idea how the best way is to present this information, and would gladly take input if anyone has a suggestion.
We got our first snow this weekend. Not enough to play in, but enough to let us know that winter is here :-). I am excited about building fires in the woodstove. I really love that! We homeschool in that room, and my sewing machine is there, so it is all tucked in and cozy, a room for the most blessed of homemaking and home keeping and home experiencing. I just need a (very small) loveseat to go in there because we do not have any really comfortable seating except a rocking chair.
Please pray for Colastie and The Colonel as they travel to get more tests done on Colastie. The Lord has been working in our lives with Colastie's illness for years, and the blessings have been too numerous to count! Please pray that He will continue to give her improving health for many years to come!
I cannot wait to try my tomatoes that we finished inside. I have some tiny transparent yellow ones, some very green (they are supposed to be green!) ones, a dark burgundy one, and a few red ones that are not smooth, but are sort of ...... can't describe it. Kind of pleated looking.
OH! And I went out and dug up potatoes! I use potatoes as bedding plants because they are cheap and big lol. Frankly I was about out of giggles for how un-summerlike this summer was, but TWS told me that I needed to go dig up the potatoes and see what there was. Yeah well....sigh....
So one evening, he dug up a few and he got several potatoes! Then i knew I was not getting out of this without me getting in there and digging up a few. So the other day I dug up as many as I could. WOWOWOWOOWOWOOWOW! What a bountiful harvest of yukon gold and purple potatoes! And digging for them was actually kinda fun :-). It was like a treasure hunt. Now, when you plant a potato, at least up here, the one you plant sometimes just turns into icky goo....ugh. So it was a high stakes treasure hunt--would I find a little purple gem? A bit of yukon gold? Or gooey toxic slime? I wore gloves lolol.
Mostly the dirt did not stick to the potatoes, so when you unearthed them, they looked so pretty! It was really a blessing. Now I have no idea what to do with them! I do not like mashed potatoes, and these are too small to cut into french fries. But I think I am going to dice them and oven roast them...the family likes that :-).
Ok, my dear sisters, it is time for me to get BUSY. I have some sewing to do! OH that reminds me! Many years ago I used to make and sell soaps, milk bath, bath salts, etc at bazaars around here. I dressed up in costume (the one I wore to the Victorian tea). It was fun but hard work. Up here there is a really independent spirit, plus not a lot of turn over in people. So after the novelty of you wears off, the same people who go to the same bazaars know what you sell and may not come by the table to see if you have anything new. We stopped doing this a couple of years ago. Just was not worth the hassel of doing the bazaars.
BUT I have one customer who has been faithful all these years. Her husband, apparently, does not want to use any soap but the one I make (it is REALLY REALLY moisturizing. I mean REALLY). So a couple times during the year, she buys whole batches of soap from me. :-). She just recently got a couple of other people buying the soap as well! I had also mentioned to her on the phone that I was going to do a bazaar. When I delivered the soap to her she was SO excited! She said "If you don't mind, I want to volunteer to sell the soap for you at the bazaar!". She had told lots of people that that was her plan! I felt so bad when I said "Ummm.....I am not selling soap at the bazaar, I am selling aprons.". She looked stunned! I said "But you are my only customer!". We had a good chuckle about that, and she informed me that I do not do a good job of selling my soap and that she needs to sell it for me because I am too modest about it, but she has no problem gushing over it to other people--she cracks me up! :-)
SO....it looks like I might be selling aprons at one end of the table and making soap for her to sell at the other end! She has so much energy, it will be a blast to have her keeping me company :-).
So I need to get to sewing the aprons. I am really excited about them because I have not seen anything similar, even online! We will see how they go at the bazaar! If they do not sell, people can expect a lot of aprons at Christmas lolol. :-).
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
A few other projects and notes....
My wonderful sisters!
Thought of a few other things while sitting at the desk (almost done printing Little Man's 3rd grade science things!).....
1) I realized last night how important it was to let Precious know about hormones. When women live in the same house, they tend to get on the same cycle. She is not "cycling" yet, but her hormones are very much in drive. The past few months, about the time of my cycle, she has become bewildered by why she is particularly anxious, upset, irritable. She did not understand why she is "suddenly" always on the edge of crying. It did not occur to me to give her a heads up when MY cycle is so that she can have some idea of what is going on. I find that once i can chalk something up to hormones, I realize that I do not HAVE to give in to them---the world is not coming to an end and my life is not really that bad, I am just feeling the effects of hormones and I can choose to indulge them or not.
Last night precious was beside herself with panic because she had spent the past three nights in terror of "what if I died". She did not realize that a)because she is growing older, she will be exploring issues such as mortality and injustice and fairness and such b)when either of us is on our cycle, the other's hormones will be affected and therefore we will be more likely to be emotional before we catch it.
When I explained to her that her thoughts were normal, when we talked about death and salvation, when she understood that what she was physically feeling (upset tummy, etc) was all part of physically overbreathing, when she realized that the severity of her emotions was due to her body reacting to mine, she was MUCH relieved, and I learned a very important lesson: keep her informed AND things are happening sooner than I thought they were!
So keep your daughters informed! Your hormones might be affecting their bodies more than either of you realize, and vice versa. Likewise, if there are sisters, they also might be playing a role in each other's emotions via hormones.
Projects:
I have a project I am fairly eager to undertake. I plan to make warm fur mittens for us this winter. I have discovered that fur really is the warmest thing to use. Thisulate, down, and sorel boots just are not enough at 40 below, at least for me. There are antique shops where my grandmother lived that generally carry old furs for mere dollars. I had my mother send some of them to me and I hope to make nice warm mittens, and maybe booties, for the children and me.
I also think I am going to wear bunny boots this winter. They are not rabbit fur, but rather are severe arctic boots that are white and are totally sealed. They are supposed to be extremely warm (if not fashionable).
Chocolate covered graham crackers....I made chocolate covered graham crackers the other day. WOW I am glad I did not discover how easy it was earlier on in my life....I would be another 50 pounds heavier! They are VERY nummy and SO easy! I mixed hershey bars and semi sweet chips in a bowl, micro'd them until they were melty, and dipped the crackers in there. I scraped off some of the extra chocolate, as it was a little cool and made too thick of a covering. I also dipped a couple of oreos in there, but TWS and I were not terribly impressed.
The egg roll I made last night seemed to be a big hit. It was so TERRIBLY easy as well: cook the meat (I used ground pork) in a frying pan, mix it in a bowl with a bag of premade coleslaw mix (I do not buy salad stuff at the store, but since this was being fried, I figured it would be ok), and add soy, pepper, ginger, salt, onion powder. I also added some sweet warm curry powder, but think I will forego that. I really like that flavor, but it is VERY cloying and overpowering. You could smell and taste that so much, even though I used probably half a teaspoon for probably 2o egg rolls.
Thought of a few other things while sitting at the desk (almost done printing Little Man's 3rd grade science things!).....
1) I realized last night how important it was to let Precious know about hormones. When women live in the same house, they tend to get on the same cycle. She is not "cycling" yet, but her hormones are very much in drive. The past few months, about the time of my cycle, she has become bewildered by why she is particularly anxious, upset, irritable. She did not understand why she is "suddenly" always on the edge of crying. It did not occur to me to give her a heads up when MY cycle is so that she can have some idea of what is going on. I find that once i can chalk something up to hormones, I realize that I do not HAVE to give in to them---the world is not coming to an end and my life is not really that bad, I am just feeling the effects of hormones and I can choose to indulge them or not.
Last night precious was beside herself with panic because she had spent the past three nights in terror of "what if I died". She did not realize that a)because she is growing older, she will be exploring issues such as mortality and injustice and fairness and such b)when either of us is on our cycle, the other's hormones will be affected and therefore we will be more likely to be emotional before we catch it.
When I explained to her that her thoughts were normal, when we talked about death and salvation, when she understood that what she was physically feeling (upset tummy, etc) was all part of physically overbreathing, when she realized that the severity of her emotions was due to her body reacting to mine, she was MUCH relieved, and I learned a very important lesson: keep her informed AND things are happening sooner than I thought they were!
So keep your daughters informed! Your hormones might be affecting their bodies more than either of you realize, and vice versa. Likewise, if there are sisters, they also might be playing a role in each other's emotions via hormones.
Projects:
I have a project I am fairly eager to undertake. I plan to make warm fur mittens for us this winter. I have discovered that fur really is the warmest thing to use. Thisulate, down, and sorel boots just are not enough at 40 below, at least for me. There are antique shops where my grandmother lived that generally carry old furs for mere dollars. I had my mother send some of them to me and I hope to make nice warm mittens, and maybe booties, for the children and me.
I also think I am going to wear bunny boots this winter. They are not rabbit fur, but rather are severe arctic boots that are white and are totally sealed. They are supposed to be extremely warm (if not fashionable).
Chocolate covered graham crackers....I made chocolate covered graham crackers the other day. WOW I am glad I did not discover how easy it was earlier on in my life....I would be another 50 pounds heavier! They are VERY nummy and SO easy! I mixed hershey bars and semi sweet chips in a bowl, micro'd them until they were melty, and dipped the crackers in there. I scraped off some of the extra chocolate, as it was a little cool and made too thick of a covering. I also dipped a couple of oreos in there, but TWS and I were not terribly impressed.
The egg roll I made last night seemed to be a big hit. It was so TERRIBLY easy as well: cook the meat (I used ground pork) in a frying pan, mix it in a bowl with a bag of premade coleslaw mix (I do not buy salad stuff at the store, but since this was being fried, I figured it would be ok), and add soy, pepper, ginger, salt, onion powder. I also added some sweet warm curry powder, but think I will forego that. I really like that flavor, but it is VERY cloying and overpowering. You could smell and taste that so much, even though I used probably half a teaspoon for probably 2o egg rolls.
Anyway, separate the egg roll wrappers and put about 1-2T of the pork and coleslaw mix in them and roll them up. Add more oil to the pork drippings and get it up to temp and fry the egg rolls. It does not take too long to fry them at all. They hold their heat VERY VERY well, in fact, there were some that were still very hot on the inside by the end of the meal.
My only suggestion would be to separate your wrappers before the oil gets hot. I was scrambling to keep the cooking egg rolls from burning while I wrapped the next batch. I would have been much better off taking the time to separate the sheets first.
Oh, during this time I also had put on a pot of rice, so we had that with the egg roll. I keep calling them egg rolls, but they were actually more like lumpia. I was using lumpia wrappers.
Supper tonight is supposed to be texmex soup with cornbread. Colastie gave me some White Lily cornbread mix (I will tell y'all about our family's obsession with White Lily flour some time!).
My wonderful TWS just came home, so I need to for now! God bless you my sisters!
Getting serious....
My beautiful sisters....
While I am here, I thought I would write.
I mentioned that I am turning over a new leaf, trying to be organized. Well I have a LOT of years of non-organization to deal with! So the next few weeks will definitely be playing catch up.
Right now I am printing out the quizzes and tests that the children have taken on SOS. I love that on SOS you can print the work (as well as quizzes and tests) with blank answers if the children are traveling. You can print out another copy with all the correct answers so that the teacher has a copy to grade off of, and you can print out the finished work that they have done on the computer.
I am copying the quizzes and tests, which I will keep so that I have a paper record, in case the computer gets messed up. However, it is going to take a bit.....be prepared for more posts as it prints too fast for me to leave, but too slow for me to just print and go. :)
I am also cleaning around my desk and decluttering my desk area. It is hilarious if you look at TWS's desk vs my desk...you can really tell how our brains work. His is MUCH neater, but I think mine has more interesting "stuff". His does have a jelly bean dispenser (which I bought him!) but other than that it is mostly business stuff. How can he THINK when he does not have anything nifty on his desk to get the creative juices flowing?! hee hee! I can put my hands on at least 10 ENTIRELY DIFFERENT projects from my seat.
Is anyone else considering making life changes? I can't be the only one who needs some serious organizational help. I need my dear friend Beauty Queen to help me get organized. She is amazing at it. In fact, TWS actually hired her to organize my closet many years back! When she visited me last, I kept catching her slip away downstairs to fold my laundry. I would call out "What are you doing?!?" and just like a child who was snitching cookies from a jar she would call back in guilty hesitation "Ummm.....nothing?". "STOP FOLDING MY LAUNDRY!" "I was just checking on the baby..." "Uh huh...get up here!!" "Allriiiight". hee hee!
BQ, come visit me and I PROMISE to turn a blind eye to any laundry folding indiscretions. In fact, just to show my unconditional positive regard, I will make sure that my closet needs a good cleaning too (hey, I just want to be supportive!).
If you are making a change of any type, post it! Let's see if we can support each other in these times where the Lord is moving us to self discipline in our homemaking and in our lives!
While I am here, I thought I would write.
I mentioned that I am turning over a new leaf, trying to be organized. Well I have a LOT of years of non-organization to deal with! So the next few weeks will definitely be playing catch up.
Right now I am printing out the quizzes and tests that the children have taken on SOS. I love that on SOS you can print the work (as well as quizzes and tests) with blank answers if the children are traveling. You can print out another copy with all the correct answers so that the teacher has a copy to grade off of, and you can print out the finished work that they have done on the computer.
I am copying the quizzes and tests, which I will keep so that I have a paper record, in case the computer gets messed up. However, it is going to take a bit.....be prepared for more posts as it prints too fast for me to leave, but too slow for me to just print and go. :)
I am also cleaning around my desk and decluttering my desk area. It is hilarious if you look at TWS's desk vs my desk...you can really tell how our brains work. His is MUCH neater, but I think mine has more interesting "stuff". His does have a jelly bean dispenser (which I bought him!) but other than that it is mostly business stuff. How can he THINK when he does not have anything nifty on his desk to get the creative juices flowing?! hee hee! I can put my hands on at least 10 ENTIRELY DIFFERENT projects from my seat.
Is anyone else considering making life changes? I can't be the only one who needs some serious organizational help. I need my dear friend Beauty Queen to help me get organized. She is amazing at it. In fact, TWS actually hired her to organize my closet many years back! When she visited me last, I kept catching her slip away downstairs to fold my laundry. I would call out "What are you doing?!?" and just like a child who was snitching cookies from a jar she would call back in guilty hesitation "Ummm.....nothing?". "STOP FOLDING MY LAUNDRY!" "I was just checking on the baby..." "Uh huh...get up here!!" "Allriiiight". hee hee!
BQ, come visit me and I PROMISE to turn a blind eye to any laundry folding indiscretions. In fact, just to show my unconditional positive regard, I will make sure that my closet needs a good cleaning too (hey, I just want to be supportive!).
If you are making a change of any type, post it! Let's see if we can support each other in these times where the Lord is moving us to self discipline in our homemaking and in our lives!
New (School) Years Resolutions
My beautiful, wonderful sisters in Christ!!!
I have been thinking a LOT about resolutions and changes in my life. For me, new years is not a great time to make resolutions. First of all, there is no CHANGE at that point, no signal, save the calendar, to make a change.
For me, fall is the best time to make a change because there is a definite signal. The difference between December and January is not much here--both are mid winter. But the difference between August and September here is VERY much a change. August is green and rainy, with a few more warm days sometimes. September is cool, dry, and golden. The difference in the sun from August to September is also significant. In August, the sun was still up most of the day. In September, it is starting to get dark in the morning. The change in light is sudden and significant.
There is also hunting season. This allows me to have some down time with the babies while TWS (and sometimes little man) goes hunting. So for a week or two, I have nothing really asked of me. Supper can be popcorn if I want, because it is just me and Precious (she will have a burrito or something). I can stay up as late as I want, there is no schedule.
After a week or so of "freedom", I find that I long to get back into a routine. That is the PERFECT time to start turning over a new leaf or three! I have had a break from a hectic summer, the season is signalling change, the people around me are signalling change (back to school, end of vacations, etc). It is just a good time all around to start changes.
A couple of weeks ago, I had mentioned that my grandmother passed. I also think I mentioned a talk that TWS and I had had about how I was doing as a wife. I got praise and gentle suggestion fo what I can do to be better.
I wrote those down as he said them (both the good AND the changes I need to make), and made some decisions of my own. I am SUCH a project person, am interested in just about anything. But that means that I honestly do not have time to do all the things I want to do. It is simply not possible for me to clean house, homeschool, cook supper, bake bread, counsel a friend, write a book, paint a picture, crochet a sweater, shoot my bow, sew a dress, learn a new language, exercise, go on a field trip, do the laundry, write a cousin, post on my blog, snuggle my sweetie, watch the game, and paint my nails all in one day!
Now the problem with me and plans, is that I am overly ambitious and have very little organizational bent. So I have had a ton of plans and schedules but not stuck to them. This time I am actually praying BEFORE I work on things and letting the Lord lead my days. I have pared down my list of what I want to do, so I am not trying to do everything all in one day, and have put a few things on hold until a different time...maybe after Christmas or maybe in a couple of years.
I have my list of things that I am trying to work into my day, paring down the waste of time, and increasing the fruit of time. God willing, He will bless this list and make me fruitful!
Here is my list in no order per se, ('cept the Lord is always at the top!):
1) The Lord a priority--I do speak to the Lord often in the day. I do read my Bible, but I also get VERY lazy and start talking AT Him and not TO Him. I have been thinking of having standard prayer times. I am going to pray about it (hee hee--praying about praying just seems funny!). I also have a song that REALLY TRULY reminds me of Him, of His sacrifice. I get so caught up in my life, that I forget to just SIT AT HIS FEET and think about His sacrifice and salvation and blessings. I get anxious to go DO something, when the best thing I can do is just to sit for a bit and dwell in His presence.
2) Homeschool a priority--I am blessed with children and a curriculum that allows me to play bubble shooter all day if I want. Both the children and the curriculum are JUST that easy. However, the children are not getting the full benefit of homeschooling. They need field trips and projects, experiments (my fav!) and such. During those times where they are homeschooling, my goal is to be in the same room for most of the day, being proactive and setting up things they can do to enrich their experiences. When we have those days where they are just going to be doing work, my sewing machine is in the homeschool room, so i can work on that. The woodstove is also in the same room, so I can cook pancakes, fry bread, etc right there while they work!
3) TWS a priority--I am also blessed with a husband whom I really love and who really loves me. He is not perfect, neither am I. But he is my husband and deserves my respect and love and time. One of the things that he said that he wanted me to change was "timely taskers"....if he gave me a task, I need to do it immediately. I also need to be more sensitive when he needs to go into his "man cave" and decompress. His job is very stressful. In order to be the type of husband and father he wants to be, sometimes he needs to withdraw for a little bit in order to transition from "battleground work" to "home sanctuary". And I have also told him to let me know by making me look in his eyes when he wants to spend time with me and I am missing the cues. I get "task saturated" and tell him "Just one more minute...almost done...." for two hours!
4) House a priority--Frankly this is just my laziness. Starting with the "parlor mentality" (kitchen, living room, bathroom), I need to keep things clean and neat. I also am REALLY trying to stick with a menu (another thing TWS mentioned). Kinda cracks me up that I spent hours coming up with weekly menus, writing up a grocery list, went to the store.....and then we changed the very first meal to something other than what was on my list! hee hee!
5) Book-- Many years ago, I had panic disorder with and without agoraphobia, OCD and chronic anxiety. The Lord took me step by step through the sins that I was committing that enabled these. With His guidance, I was able to go from completely housebound, to able to jump on an airplane. I had long struggled with whether I should write this book. I would start, then stop. TWS told me to, but I was still hesitant (note: our husbands are the head of the household--we need to LISTEN!). The other day I was praying about it, again, and telling the Lord "Hey, whatever You want, just let me know". That very morning I had a message from a dear friend of mine asking if she could use a post I had made on the subject on a board. That was my signal that it was time to get serious about it.
6) Exercise. I would rather be beaten with a stick than exercise. I hate the way they keep changing how much you "should" do, I hate it when they say "Well, 8 hours a day of aerobic activity is ok....but you REALLY need to be doing 12...." (ok, that is a total exaggeration, but that is how I feel! lolol). But the other day I woke up and thought "I actually just feel like exercising today. NOT to be tiny, NOT out of "health guilt", but just because I wanted to do it. I PRAISE THE LORD for that healthy change in my thinking, because I have learned that the quickest way for me NOT to want to do something is to be told I HAVE to. lolol So, i am going to start exercising, on my time, in my way, for MY benefit. Not for guilt. Not for "have to". For the fun of stretching and moving and such. Besides I have Alton Brown cooking videos that I can watch while I exercise!
7) Misc projects--I have pared down my list of everything I ever wanted to do to these things that I will do now, with more to be added or dropped later. So, God willing, I am going to work on learning spanish, getting better on the dulcimer, sew more and learn to make more food from scratch (cheese is my next project!). I am also going to be painting. I am putting off a lot of interior decorating, instead focusing on making my house neat and tidy, ready for guest or project :-).
I want to have my chores done so that I can be ready for a friend who needs a shoulder, ready for a chat with my mom, ready for an unexpected guest. I want to be PROactive, not REactive. I mean, the laundry does get done, I wash the same pairs of socks, the same dresses and shirts every week. So why not have it done BEFORE people ask? If I am going to get it done on, say, Friday, why not adjust my thinking so that I get it done on Monday? The same amount of time will be spent washing clothing in a week, so why not be proactive and get it done?
Same with cooking. I am GOING to cook supper. So why not have a plan beforehand instead of waiting until 4 pm and being frantic? Either way we are going to eat. So why do I not just reduce stress and plan?
So really this is more of a change of thought, than a change of what I do. I am doing mostly the same things, paring down time wasters, and adding a few new things. But I am trying to be organized.
What about you? Is this a good time for you to think of changing your schedule in a big way? If you homeschool or if you have children who go to school, the schedule is changing anyway from summer. So maybe this is the perfect time to be "in for a dime, in for a dollar"! Maybe this is a good time to make New (school) Year's Resolutions!
Feel free to share what you are doing, what you have done, what you find works for you, and what you find your trouble spots are. Please take a moment and pray for every one of your sisters who need a little help in this area.....that is pretty much all of us! Please pray that God's will be done, that we each adjust to OUR family's individual needs! Each family will have different interests, different needs, but all families need less stress, more Lord, less clutter, more healthful behavior, less burden, more joy.
God bless you all!
I have been thinking a LOT about resolutions and changes in my life. For me, new years is not a great time to make resolutions. First of all, there is no CHANGE at that point, no signal, save the calendar, to make a change.
For me, fall is the best time to make a change because there is a definite signal. The difference between December and January is not much here--both are mid winter. But the difference between August and September here is VERY much a change. August is green and rainy, with a few more warm days sometimes. September is cool, dry, and golden. The difference in the sun from August to September is also significant. In August, the sun was still up most of the day. In September, it is starting to get dark in the morning. The change in light is sudden and significant.
There is also hunting season. This allows me to have some down time with the babies while TWS (and sometimes little man) goes hunting. So for a week or two, I have nothing really asked of me. Supper can be popcorn if I want, because it is just me and Precious (she will have a burrito or something). I can stay up as late as I want, there is no schedule.
After a week or so of "freedom", I find that I long to get back into a routine. That is the PERFECT time to start turning over a new leaf or three! I have had a break from a hectic summer, the season is signalling change, the people around me are signalling change (back to school, end of vacations, etc). It is just a good time all around to start changes.
A couple of weeks ago, I had mentioned that my grandmother passed. I also think I mentioned a talk that TWS and I had had about how I was doing as a wife. I got praise and gentle suggestion fo what I can do to be better.
I wrote those down as he said them (both the good AND the changes I need to make), and made some decisions of my own. I am SUCH a project person, am interested in just about anything. But that means that I honestly do not have time to do all the things I want to do. It is simply not possible for me to clean house, homeschool, cook supper, bake bread, counsel a friend, write a book, paint a picture, crochet a sweater, shoot my bow, sew a dress, learn a new language, exercise, go on a field trip, do the laundry, write a cousin, post on my blog, snuggle my sweetie, watch the game, and paint my nails all in one day!
Now the problem with me and plans, is that I am overly ambitious and have very little organizational bent. So I have had a ton of plans and schedules but not stuck to them. This time I am actually praying BEFORE I work on things and letting the Lord lead my days. I have pared down my list of what I want to do, so I am not trying to do everything all in one day, and have put a few things on hold until a different time...maybe after Christmas or maybe in a couple of years.
I have my list of things that I am trying to work into my day, paring down the waste of time, and increasing the fruit of time. God willing, He will bless this list and make me fruitful!
Here is my list in no order per se, ('cept the Lord is always at the top!):
1) The Lord a priority--I do speak to the Lord often in the day. I do read my Bible, but I also get VERY lazy and start talking AT Him and not TO Him. I have been thinking of having standard prayer times. I am going to pray about it (hee hee--praying about praying just seems funny!). I also have a song that REALLY TRULY reminds me of Him, of His sacrifice. I get so caught up in my life, that I forget to just SIT AT HIS FEET and think about His sacrifice and salvation and blessings. I get anxious to go DO something, when the best thing I can do is just to sit for a bit and dwell in His presence.
2) Homeschool a priority--I am blessed with children and a curriculum that allows me to play bubble shooter all day if I want. Both the children and the curriculum are JUST that easy. However, the children are not getting the full benefit of homeschooling. They need field trips and projects, experiments (my fav!) and such. During those times where they are homeschooling, my goal is to be in the same room for most of the day, being proactive and setting up things they can do to enrich their experiences. When we have those days where they are just going to be doing work, my sewing machine is in the homeschool room, so i can work on that. The woodstove is also in the same room, so I can cook pancakes, fry bread, etc right there while they work!
3) TWS a priority--I am also blessed with a husband whom I really love and who really loves me. He is not perfect, neither am I. But he is my husband and deserves my respect and love and time. One of the things that he said that he wanted me to change was "timely taskers"....if he gave me a task, I need to do it immediately. I also need to be more sensitive when he needs to go into his "man cave" and decompress. His job is very stressful. In order to be the type of husband and father he wants to be, sometimes he needs to withdraw for a little bit in order to transition from "battleground work" to "home sanctuary". And I have also told him to let me know by making me look in his eyes when he wants to spend time with me and I am missing the cues. I get "task saturated" and tell him "Just one more minute...almost done...." for two hours!
4) House a priority--Frankly this is just my laziness. Starting with the "parlor mentality" (kitchen, living room, bathroom), I need to keep things clean and neat. I also am REALLY trying to stick with a menu (another thing TWS mentioned). Kinda cracks me up that I spent hours coming up with weekly menus, writing up a grocery list, went to the store.....and then we changed the very first meal to something other than what was on my list! hee hee!
5) Book-- Many years ago, I had panic disorder with and without agoraphobia, OCD and chronic anxiety. The Lord took me step by step through the sins that I was committing that enabled these. With His guidance, I was able to go from completely housebound, to able to jump on an airplane. I had long struggled with whether I should write this book. I would start, then stop. TWS told me to, but I was still hesitant (note: our husbands are the head of the household--we need to LISTEN!). The other day I was praying about it, again, and telling the Lord "Hey, whatever You want, just let me know". That very morning I had a message from a dear friend of mine asking if she could use a post I had made on the subject on a board. That was my signal that it was time to get serious about it.
6) Exercise. I would rather be beaten with a stick than exercise. I hate the way they keep changing how much you "should" do, I hate it when they say "Well, 8 hours a day of aerobic activity is ok....but you REALLY need to be doing 12...." (ok, that is a total exaggeration, but that is how I feel! lolol). But the other day I woke up and thought "I actually just feel like exercising today. NOT to be tiny, NOT out of "health guilt", but just because I wanted to do it. I PRAISE THE LORD for that healthy change in my thinking, because I have learned that the quickest way for me NOT to want to do something is to be told I HAVE to. lolol So, i am going to start exercising, on my time, in my way, for MY benefit. Not for guilt. Not for "have to". For the fun of stretching and moving and such. Besides I have Alton Brown cooking videos that I can watch while I exercise!
7) Misc projects--I have pared down my list of everything I ever wanted to do to these things that I will do now, with more to be added or dropped later. So, God willing, I am going to work on learning spanish, getting better on the dulcimer, sew more and learn to make more food from scratch (cheese is my next project!). I am also going to be painting. I am putting off a lot of interior decorating, instead focusing on making my house neat and tidy, ready for guest or project :-).
I want to have my chores done so that I can be ready for a friend who needs a shoulder, ready for a chat with my mom, ready for an unexpected guest. I want to be PROactive, not REactive. I mean, the laundry does get done, I wash the same pairs of socks, the same dresses and shirts every week. So why not have it done BEFORE people ask? If I am going to get it done on, say, Friday, why not adjust my thinking so that I get it done on Monday? The same amount of time will be spent washing clothing in a week, so why not be proactive and get it done?
Same with cooking. I am GOING to cook supper. So why not have a plan beforehand instead of waiting until 4 pm and being frantic? Either way we are going to eat. So why do I not just reduce stress and plan?
So really this is more of a change of thought, than a change of what I do. I am doing mostly the same things, paring down time wasters, and adding a few new things. But I am trying to be organized.
What about you? Is this a good time for you to think of changing your schedule in a big way? If you homeschool or if you have children who go to school, the schedule is changing anyway from summer. So maybe this is the perfect time to be "in for a dime, in for a dollar"! Maybe this is a good time to make New (school) Year's Resolutions!
Feel free to share what you are doing, what you have done, what you find works for you, and what you find your trouble spots are. Please take a moment and pray for every one of your sisters who need a little help in this area.....that is pretty much all of us! Please pray that God's will be done, that we each adjust to OUR family's individual needs! Each family will have different interests, different needs, but all families need less stress, more Lord, less clutter, more healthful behavior, less burden, more joy.
God bless you all!
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Up and down
My beautiful sisters....
I think it is good for all of us to share our struggles as well as our triumphs. It is heartening to see that someone struggles with the same sin we do, and to have them tell us how they succeed in overcoming. Plus we can pray for each other.
When I last wrote, I was feeling pretty good. I felt that the Lord was really working in my life, that the lessons were painful but productive. Then yesterday happened. Honestly I was in such an emotional morass that I could not even get my head above water. Thank the Good Lord for my sweet TWS who was patient and listened. (However, I DO know that if TWS was not there, the Lord would have sent someone else to help me, or would have helped me Himself....He never leaves us alone!).
I had spent another restless, sleep deprived night the night before, so I was running on empty anyway.
However, in the morning, we got a call that TWS might have to deploy. It is not a sudden deployment or anything, but it ripped out of my hand the barest of emotional control that I had at that moment. Again, everything came tumbling down. I was crying, spun up. It was not the deployment per se, I married a military man and we have been more than blessed in his assignments. I was just thinking "He has not even been out of the woods for 12 hours, I have not been sleeping, I am still fragile from the death of my grandmother...I cannot face this right now. Tomorrow I could face it, but not right now.".
Now, just to give you an example of HOW fragile I was.....we have old Andy Griffith episodes on DVD (we do not like the modern day sitcoms). Precious had been watching them the day before, but some of them were TOO STRESSFUL FOR ME TO HANDLE. Yep. There was just too much drama with Opie and Aunt Bea for me to handle....how pathetic is that????
To put THAT in perspective, one thing that I have handled beautifully in my life, thank the Lord, was when we were in Florida, a hurricane was coming, and TWS told me I would have to start preparing for us to evac (me, Precious, who was two at the time, one dog, two cats and no husband...he would have to stay behind). I must say that I handled that with excitement and determination, thank the Lord. We ended up not having to evac, but I was ready, calm, capable. I have "played camp out" in the closet with my young child during tornadoes, have ridden out a RIDICULOUSLY long earthquake with both young kids without panic, but with aplomb. So I REALLY CAN handle stressful things sometimes....but this week is not one of those times. I could not even handle Andy Griffith re runs.
Anyway, I also had a disagreement with my mom. It was not a fight at all, it was just a difference of opinion. But if I could not handle the stress of the election of a new city council member on Andy Griffith, I certainly could not handle thinking my mother was upset with me.
So I did something I should not have done....started looking at property where I want to be. I know, I know. That was STUPID. It was like a recovering alcoholic going to a bar. With all of that going on, I melted down. I knew I was never EVER going to win the battle in my mind. I WANT to be "happy" and cheerful and content, but I was convinced it was NEVER EVER going to happen. It occurred to both TWS and I that even if we moved somewhere warm, the mess in my spirit would still be there. I KNOW that is a fact because I finally figured out that the root of this problem is NOT my location or how far from family I am. It is not where I live or who I am with, because there are times when I FINALLY give to the Lord, FINALLY trust Him that I am actually FINE with being so far! I do not fear the cold or the snow...I do not even think about it! For a brief moment, i am content and my faith is strong.
No, the problem is not my location, it is my attitude. I was not trusting the Lord that He has a GOOD LIFE planned for me. His goal is not to make me miserable! AND He promised EVERY believer joy and peace. Now, if you do not feel joy and peace, it is NOT NOT NOT because you do not HAVE it, it is because you do not USE it. I knew that, but it is hard to remember when you are being attacked spiritually. The Lord has blessing and strength innumerable for us, like brand new cars in a garage that goes on forever, but WE have to drive them. WE have to make the effort to go out to the garage of our spiritual growth, pour the fuel of faith in the tanks, and hop into those cars and DRIVE them. They do us no good if we deny they are there, or if we will not use them.
Now, I know that there have been massive spiritual attacks on me, because the things that are piling on have gotten ridiculous. Have you ever had one of those days where you just stop and think "Ok, now THIS is getting ridiculous. There is no way that this much can be going this wrong at once."? Have you ever had those days where you are thinking "SERIOUSLY, xyz sin is not even one I WANT to indulge in! Not even a little bit! In fact, it is so utterly dispicable to me that it is not even a little bit "fun"...it irritates me!"? It feels so very unfair, like your best efforts to fight a sin are in vain. That is when the spiritual attacks are at their strongest, and that is where I was yesterday.
I poured my heart out to TWS and he brought up some very important points:
a) It is not all about me. No really, not everything that happens is about me! lolol
b) I needed to stop focusing on my "worst sin" and take into account the full balance of my life. NOW, that does NOT mean "Oh I am a pretty good person overall...." type thinking, but when all you do is stare at the worst of your life, you do not take the time to praise the Lord for His working in your life. The Lord gives me great grace in so many areas, but I do not think of those when I am focusing on my worst sin. I have to look in balance, so that I work on the things that I need to, accept grace on the things I need to, and praise the Lord for His work that He has accomplished in me already...things I struggled with at one point but no longer do.
So yesterday I decided that for the rest of the day I was NOT going to dwell on trying to battle that one sin of discontent. I was just going to focus on good things. It is AMAZING what happened. I told TWS that I was afraid I would get proud and haughty. I was afraid that the sin I was staring at would overwhelm me. In this case, neither happened. I spent the rest of the day in productive, kind discussion with TWS on how I could be a better wife AND what I was doing well (in the interest of "balance" ;-) ). That gave me good perspective: I had weak points and grace points so I could be thankful that my husband appreciated some points, and I was encouraged to work on my weak points. Then we cooked supper together and went to bed early.
And because I was no longer staring at my belly button (or the houses that are for sale where I would want to live!), the Lord was able to keep me from falling deep into the sin of discontent. In this type of sin, distraction can work VERY well. The Lord can do His work in my life without me constantly getting in the way. I am not sure if this makes sense or not, but it does to me in a weird way.
It is kinda like this: I read that a horse, led out of a burning barn, will run back INTO that barn, even if they are safely in pasture. They focus so much on the flames, that they are drawn to them. They jerk out of the hands of their caregiver and run back into the barn. This is how I feel in this.
There are some sins that one has to be FIRM about--action sins are ones that one has to DECIDE to do or DECIDE not to do, and therefore one has to be on guard to NOT do those. I have to DECIDE not to cuss, DECIDE to wear something modest, DECIDE not to flirt or to lose my temper or rob a bank.
But some sins, thought sins, sometimes need a change in focus, at least for me. The brain can only think about one thing at a time. If I am dwelling on fighting my discontent, I am still focusing on discontentedness. I am still staring at those flames, and ignoring the safe green sweet pasture that I dwell in. I am not focusing on my Father, but on myself, my discontent. I am not focusing on my blessings. It seems wrong to not be WORKING on my sin, but on the other hand, I guess I am.....I am working on it by NOT focusing on it, but by focusing on my blessings or what's for supper or anything else in the world. I am not giving the enemy a foothold, thanks be to the Lord. (btw, we have to be VERY careful not to let even a HINT of what MIGHT turn out to be discontent into our brains. For me, I cannot dwell on the fact that my feet are cold, because that will turn into "and winter is coming, and I hate the cold, and it will be dark and I hate the dark and we live in alaska and other people have warm weather, and all my family is in warm weather and I am all alone....!". NO! We have to be careful in every thought, make it captive to Christ!).
OH! And get this! Today's homeschool devotional from Alpha Omega spoke to EXACTLY what I was going through yesterday! Here is a bit: I'm feeling selfish today....I want to escape somewhere. My life seems like it's not my own, and I resent the fact that I can't do what I want, when I want. Homeschooling requires me to be so disciplined, and I'm starting to feel trapped. I want to take a break....I feel like a huge burden is on my back.
...you have to give yourself 100% and commit... Like the man who calculated the cost in building a tower or the king who assessed his army before he went to war (Luke 14:27-33), following the Lord's call ....requires giving your all. Yes, God knows when you need to rest and will show you how to catch your breath, but He also asks His disciples to carry their cross. So who will you follow today, yourself or the Lord? "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me" (Luke 9:23b).
Lord, forgive my attitude and help me refocus on the call You gave.... Teach me again that Your will and Your way is better than any life I can conceive. I love You and thank You for my family. In Jesus' name, Amen."
The Lord is so good! He tells us EXACTLY what is going on in our lives! Now, I cut out most bits that talked specifically about homeschooling, because it does not matter if the problem is about homeschooling, about marriage, about where you live, about what you do. It is a problem of lack of trusting the Lord and focus on self and discontentedness.
OH, here is one thing to remember....I do not know about you, but I was stuck on the "But what if God wants me never to have what I want in this? What if I am stuck here forever?!?!?!". No, that is in error. We ask for what we want because we think that will bring us peace and joy. INSTEAD the Lord makes it to where we can have peace and joy, no matter what we have! Let me repeat that.....having what we want does NOT give us peace and joy, because peace and joy comes from the Lord**. He directs our life, sometimes not where we want it, AND gives us peace and joy! Doesn't that make perfect sense? He directs our paths, but knows that some of those paths are going to be different from our will. So He also provides us peace and joy so that we can walk the paths we NEED to walk to grow, and yet not get discouraged and lose heart! The path might be rocky, but He provides pillows for our feet!
We need to understand that the Lord provided us peace and joy, REGARDLESS of our situation....but again we have to embrace it! We can choose to ignore peace and joy that He gives, thinking we can only have it if we get what we want. But that is us thinking with our pitiful human minds....like a toddler who thinks they will only be happy if they get to eat every cookie on the plate. The Lord knows what we need, knows when we need it. AND AND AND AND He makes it that we can have peace and joy in the storms of our lives.
(**SHAW, my dear faithful friend, was trying to tell me this, get me to understand this for weeks. God bless her for a faithful, patient woman! He has been trying to get me to understand this through just about everyone I talk to! Praise the Lord that He has patience and has a lot of godly people who are willing to be used for His glory....and to be used to try to get me to pay attention....)
When I was in error the past weeks, I kept telling TWS "But it is like having a great life, but just broke your leg. No matter what wonderful things you have, your leg STILL HURTS!". That was my human mind, not understanding what the Lord's TRUE glory and TRUE grace is. When the Lord gives blessing, He adds no sorrow to it. My broken leg analogy was not a true analogy. The Lord is SO VERY faithful, that the discontent in our lives is actually removed, taken away, when we have peace and joy. The discontent is GONE when we are in peace and joy.
Yes, there are still painful things that happen in our lives. I am not saying that no bad thing will ever happen :-). I am referring to the mental sins we have of discontent and lack of trust in the Lord. I was not trusting that the Lord would provide PEACE for me while I lived in His will. I REALLY DO want to live in His will, but I was afraid that I would SUFFER in His will for years. If He chose for me to not get the things I desire most--living near family and being somewhere warm and humid--then I was afraid that I would NEVER EVER be happy...just be resigned.
But the Lord does not WANT us to be merely resigned! That is not a full, Christian life. We cannot bring others to the Lord by just enduring His will. THAT IS NOT A WITNESS and it is not what the Lord is wanting for us. We might not always be HAPPY, but He does want us to have JOY and PEACE so that we can minister to others, will praise Him, and will bring others to Him. So if there is a situation in our lives where we are discontent, the Lord HAS made a way for you to have PEACE AND JOY. It does not matter if you get what you want, because peace and joy are a gift from the Lord to believers, and you can have peace and joy in the Lord, even if you do not get what you want. God said that "godliness with contentment is great gain"....I think this is what He meant.
I tell ya, that lesson was nigh unto impossible for me yesterday until I stopped looking at what I was discontent about. THEN peace and joy could come. I could not have faith AND stare longingly at what I was discontent about. I had to turn my back on the fire of my discontent and stare at the sweet pasture.
I will tell you, this was not on my strength at all. I was a basket case. Seriously, I was a mental and emotional wreck. No, this was the Lord working in my life. This was Jesus's power being made perfect in my weakness. This was not me, this was Him! If there is any inspiration from this, it is from Him.....I did nothing at all to deserve or earn or make this happen. I simply followed what the Lord was telling me through TWS and through the Holy Spirit. I was being led through the barn and into the field.
I just do not want anyone thinking that I deserve any accolades or praise or was "good" in this. I was dreadful and disobedient. The only thing that I DID do--and frankly it was because I was too exhausted to do otherwise--was to allow myself to be led. I had no faith that it would work, I was just too tired to argue or think.
My dear sisters, pray for me. TBH, I am still afraid that this lesson will not stick and I DESPERATELY want it to. The thing is that when I am right in the Lord, when I have peace, I have PEACE! I get it! It makes sense! But it is hard to smell the sweet grass when I am focusing on the fire. I can't say "I am NOT going to focus on the fire" because that is still focusing on the fire. It is like telling someone "DON'T look down!"--well what is the very first thing they do? LOOK DOWN!
Please pray that I will turn my back to the fire and not be tempted to "peek"! Please let's pray for all of us, because we all, at some points in our lives, have this battle about something. It might be when we cannot find a mate. We might not be able to have children. We might be located somewhere we do not want to be. We might have a death in the family or be facing an illness. We probably all will find something that wears at our soul when we know we want peace and need peace. Lots of spiritual attacks, slings and arrows, will be focused on our attempts at resting in the Lord. Sometimes our battle is not to race in and fight, but just to stand, as it says in Ephesians.
God bless and keep you, dear sisters!
I think it is good for all of us to share our struggles as well as our triumphs. It is heartening to see that someone struggles with the same sin we do, and to have them tell us how they succeed in overcoming. Plus we can pray for each other.
When I last wrote, I was feeling pretty good. I felt that the Lord was really working in my life, that the lessons were painful but productive. Then yesterday happened. Honestly I was in such an emotional morass that I could not even get my head above water. Thank the Good Lord for my sweet TWS who was patient and listened. (However, I DO know that if TWS was not there, the Lord would have sent someone else to help me, or would have helped me Himself....He never leaves us alone!).
I had spent another restless, sleep deprived night the night before, so I was running on empty anyway.
However, in the morning, we got a call that TWS might have to deploy. It is not a sudden deployment or anything, but it ripped out of my hand the barest of emotional control that I had at that moment. Again, everything came tumbling down. I was crying, spun up. It was not the deployment per se, I married a military man and we have been more than blessed in his assignments. I was just thinking "He has not even been out of the woods for 12 hours, I have not been sleeping, I am still fragile from the death of my grandmother...I cannot face this right now. Tomorrow I could face it, but not right now.".
Now, just to give you an example of HOW fragile I was.....we have old Andy Griffith episodes on DVD (we do not like the modern day sitcoms). Precious had been watching them the day before, but some of them were TOO STRESSFUL FOR ME TO HANDLE. Yep. There was just too much drama with Opie and Aunt Bea for me to handle....how pathetic is that????
To put THAT in perspective, one thing that I have handled beautifully in my life, thank the Lord, was when we were in Florida, a hurricane was coming, and TWS told me I would have to start preparing for us to evac (me, Precious, who was two at the time, one dog, two cats and no husband...he would have to stay behind). I must say that I handled that with excitement and determination, thank the Lord. We ended up not having to evac, but I was ready, calm, capable. I have "played camp out" in the closet with my young child during tornadoes, have ridden out a RIDICULOUSLY long earthquake with both young kids without panic, but with aplomb. So I REALLY CAN handle stressful things sometimes....but this week is not one of those times. I could not even handle Andy Griffith re runs.
Anyway, I also had a disagreement with my mom. It was not a fight at all, it was just a difference of opinion. But if I could not handle the stress of the election of a new city council member on Andy Griffith, I certainly could not handle thinking my mother was upset with me.
So I did something I should not have done....started looking at property where I want to be. I know, I know. That was STUPID. It was like a recovering alcoholic going to a bar. With all of that going on, I melted down. I knew I was never EVER going to win the battle in my mind. I WANT to be "happy" and cheerful and content, but I was convinced it was NEVER EVER going to happen. It occurred to both TWS and I that even if we moved somewhere warm, the mess in my spirit would still be there. I KNOW that is a fact because I finally figured out that the root of this problem is NOT my location or how far from family I am. It is not where I live or who I am with, because there are times when I FINALLY give to the Lord, FINALLY trust Him that I am actually FINE with being so far! I do not fear the cold or the snow...I do not even think about it! For a brief moment, i am content and my faith is strong.
No, the problem is not my location, it is my attitude. I was not trusting the Lord that He has a GOOD LIFE planned for me. His goal is not to make me miserable! AND He promised EVERY believer joy and peace. Now, if you do not feel joy and peace, it is NOT NOT NOT because you do not HAVE it, it is because you do not USE it. I knew that, but it is hard to remember when you are being attacked spiritually. The Lord has blessing and strength innumerable for us, like brand new cars in a garage that goes on forever, but WE have to drive them. WE have to make the effort to go out to the garage of our spiritual growth, pour the fuel of faith in the tanks, and hop into those cars and DRIVE them. They do us no good if we deny they are there, or if we will not use them.
Now, I know that there have been massive spiritual attacks on me, because the things that are piling on have gotten ridiculous. Have you ever had one of those days where you just stop and think "Ok, now THIS is getting ridiculous. There is no way that this much can be going this wrong at once."? Have you ever had those days where you are thinking "SERIOUSLY, xyz sin is not even one I WANT to indulge in! Not even a little bit! In fact, it is so utterly dispicable to me that it is not even a little bit "fun"...it irritates me!"? It feels so very unfair, like your best efforts to fight a sin are in vain. That is when the spiritual attacks are at their strongest, and that is where I was yesterday.
I poured my heart out to TWS and he brought up some very important points:
a) It is not all about me. No really, not everything that happens is about me! lolol
b) I needed to stop focusing on my "worst sin" and take into account the full balance of my life. NOW, that does NOT mean "Oh I am a pretty good person overall...." type thinking, but when all you do is stare at the worst of your life, you do not take the time to praise the Lord for His working in your life. The Lord gives me great grace in so many areas, but I do not think of those when I am focusing on my worst sin. I have to look in balance, so that I work on the things that I need to, accept grace on the things I need to, and praise the Lord for His work that He has accomplished in me already...things I struggled with at one point but no longer do.
So yesterday I decided that for the rest of the day I was NOT going to dwell on trying to battle that one sin of discontent. I was just going to focus on good things. It is AMAZING what happened. I told TWS that I was afraid I would get proud and haughty. I was afraid that the sin I was staring at would overwhelm me. In this case, neither happened. I spent the rest of the day in productive, kind discussion with TWS on how I could be a better wife AND what I was doing well (in the interest of "balance" ;-) ). That gave me good perspective: I had weak points and grace points so I could be thankful that my husband appreciated some points, and I was encouraged to work on my weak points. Then we cooked supper together and went to bed early.
And because I was no longer staring at my belly button (or the houses that are for sale where I would want to live!), the Lord was able to keep me from falling deep into the sin of discontent. In this type of sin, distraction can work VERY well. The Lord can do His work in my life without me constantly getting in the way. I am not sure if this makes sense or not, but it does to me in a weird way.
It is kinda like this: I read that a horse, led out of a burning barn, will run back INTO that barn, even if they are safely in pasture. They focus so much on the flames, that they are drawn to them. They jerk out of the hands of their caregiver and run back into the barn. This is how I feel in this.
There are some sins that one has to be FIRM about--action sins are ones that one has to DECIDE to do or DECIDE not to do, and therefore one has to be on guard to NOT do those. I have to DECIDE not to cuss, DECIDE to wear something modest, DECIDE not to flirt or to lose my temper or rob a bank.
But some sins, thought sins, sometimes need a change in focus, at least for me. The brain can only think about one thing at a time. If I am dwelling on fighting my discontent, I am still focusing on discontentedness. I am still staring at those flames, and ignoring the safe green sweet pasture that I dwell in. I am not focusing on my Father, but on myself, my discontent. I am not focusing on my blessings. It seems wrong to not be WORKING on my sin, but on the other hand, I guess I am.....I am working on it by NOT focusing on it, but by focusing on my blessings or what's for supper or anything else in the world. I am not giving the enemy a foothold, thanks be to the Lord. (btw, we have to be VERY careful not to let even a HINT of what MIGHT turn out to be discontent into our brains. For me, I cannot dwell on the fact that my feet are cold, because that will turn into "and winter is coming, and I hate the cold, and it will be dark and I hate the dark and we live in alaska and other people have warm weather, and all my family is in warm weather and I am all alone....!". NO! We have to be careful in every thought, make it captive to Christ!).
OH! And get this! Today's homeschool devotional from Alpha Omega spoke to EXACTLY what I was going through yesterday! Here is a bit: I'm feeling selfish today....I want to escape somewhere. My life seems like it's not my own, and I resent the fact that I can't do what I want, when I want. Homeschooling requires me to be so disciplined, and I'm starting to feel trapped. I want to take a break....I feel like a huge burden is on my back.
...you have to give yourself 100% and commit... Like the man who calculated the cost in building a tower or the king who assessed his army before he went to war (Luke 14:27-33), following the Lord's call ....requires giving your all. Yes, God knows when you need to rest and will show you how to catch your breath, but He also asks His disciples to carry their cross. So who will you follow today, yourself or the Lord? "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me" (Luke 9:23b).
Lord, forgive my attitude and help me refocus on the call You gave.... Teach me again that Your will and Your way is better than any life I can conceive. I love You and thank You for my family. In Jesus' name, Amen."
The Lord is so good! He tells us EXACTLY what is going on in our lives! Now, I cut out most bits that talked specifically about homeschooling, because it does not matter if the problem is about homeschooling, about marriage, about where you live, about what you do. It is a problem of lack of trusting the Lord and focus on self and discontentedness.
OH, here is one thing to remember....I do not know about you, but I was stuck on the "But what if God wants me never to have what I want in this? What if I am stuck here forever?!?!?!". No, that is in error. We ask for what we want because we think that will bring us peace and joy. INSTEAD the Lord makes it to where we can have peace and joy, no matter what we have! Let me repeat that.....having what we want does NOT give us peace and joy, because peace and joy comes from the Lord**. He directs our life, sometimes not where we want it, AND gives us peace and joy! Doesn't that make perfect sense? He directs our paths, but knows that some of those paths are going to be different from our will. So He also provides us peace and joy so that we can walk the paths we NEED to walk to grow, and yet not get discouraged and lose heart! The path might be rocky, but He provides pillows for our feet!
We need to understand that the Lord provided us peace and joy, REGARDLESS of our situation....but again we have to embrace it! We can choose to ignore peace and joy that He gives, thinking we can only have it if we get what we want. But that is us thinking with our pitiful human minds....like a toddler who thinks they will only be happy if they get to eat every cookie on the plate. The Lord knows what we need, knows when we need it. AND AND AND AND He makes it that we can have peace and joy in the storms of our lives.
(**SHAW, my dear faithful friend, was trying to tell me this, get me to understand this for weeks. God bless her for a faithful, patient woman! He has been trying to get me to understand this through just about everyone I talk to! Praise the Lord that He has patience and has a lot of godly people who are willing to be used for His glory....and to be used to try to get me to pay attention....)
When I was in error the past weeks, I kept telling TWS "But it is like having a great life, but just broke your leg. No matter what wonderful things you have, your leg STILL HURTS!". That was my human mind, not understanding what the Lord's TRUE glory and TRUE grace is. When the Lord gives blessing, He adds no sorrow to it. My broken leg analogy was not a true analogy. The Lord is SO VERY faithful, that the discontent in our lives is actually removed, taken away, when we have peace and joy. The discontent is GONE when we are in peace and joy.
Yes, there are still painful things that happen in our lives. I am not saying that no bad thing will ever happen :-). I am referring to the mental sins we have of discontent and lack of trust in the Lord. I was not trusting that the Lord would provide PEACE for me while I lived in His will. I REALLY DO want to live in His will, but I was afraid that I would SUFFER in His will for years. If He chose for me to not get the things I desire most--living near family and being somewhere warm and humid--then I was afraid that I would NEVER EVER be happy...just be resigned.
But the Lord does not WANT us to be merely resigned! That is not a full, Christian life. We cannot bring others to the Lord by just enduring His will. THAT IS NOT A WITNESS and it is not what the Lord is wanting for us. We might not always be HAPPY, but He does want us to have JOY and PEACE so that we can minister to others, will praise Him, and will bring others to Him. So if there is a situation in our lives where we are discontent, the Lord HAS made a way for you to have PEACE AND JOY. It does not matter if you get what you want, because peace and joy are a gift from the Lord to believers, and you can have peace and joy in the Lord, even if you do not get what you want. God said that "godliness with contentment is great gain"....I think this is what He meant.
I tell ya, that lesson was nigh unto impossible for me yesterday until I stopped looking at what I was discontent about. THEN peace and joy could come. I could not have faith AND stare longingly at what I was discontent about. I had to turn my back on the fire of my discontent and stare at the sweet pasture.
I will tell you, this was not on my strength at all. I was a basket case. Seriously, I was a mental and emotional wreck. No, this was the Lord working in my life. This was Jesus's power being made perfect in my weakness. This was not me, this was Him! If there is any inspiration from this, it is from Him.....I did nothing at all to deserve or earn or make this happen. I simply followed what the Lord was telling me through TWS and through the Holy Spirit. I was being led through the barn and into the field.
I just do not want anyone thinking that I deserve any accolades or praise or was "good" in this. I was dreadful and disobedient. The only thing that I DID do--and frankly it was because I was too exhausted to do otherwise--was to allow myself to be led. I had no faith that it would work, I was just too tired to argue or think.
My dear sisters, pray for me. TBH, I am still afraid that this lesson will not stick and I DESPERATELY want it to. The thing is that when I am right in the Lord, when I have peace, I have PEACE! I get it! It makes sense! But it is hard to smell the sweet grass when I am focusing on the fire. I can't say "I am NOT going to focus on the fire" because that is still focusing on the fire. It is like telling someone "DON'T look down!"--well what is the very first thing they do? LOOK DOWN!
Please pray that I will turn my back to the fire and not be tempted to "peek"! Please let's pray for all of us, because we all, at some points in our lives, have this battle about something. It might be when we cannot find a mate. We might not be able to have children. We might be located somewhere we do not want to be. We might have a death in the family or be facing an illness. We probably all will find something that wears at our soul when we know we want peace and need peace. Lots of spiritual attacks, slings and arrows, will be focused on our attempts at resting in the Lord. Sometimes our battle is not to race in and fight, but just to stand, as it says in Ephesians.
God bless and keep you, dear sisters!
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Ok one more post... homeschooling
That was weird, apparently I hit a button and it published a blank post. sigh.... lol
Anyway, wanted to chat a bit about homeschooling and then I REALLY need to print off those records!!
We use Switched On Schoolhouse and L.O.V.E. it. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE it. It has its bugs as it is software and computers have glitches sometimes. Sometimes something is marked wrong when it is right, etc, so I have to go back and recheck answers, especially if the children leave a note saying "I REALLY think I got this right!". 90% of the time they DID! But those occasions are not often.
I love that it is computer based (no paper!) and already organized (NOT one of my strong suits--in fact just last week, after both of us trying to get me more organized for 14 years, TWS said "Your brain is chaotic...go with it..." lolol).
Anyway, I had told Little Man that he could not go hunting until he finished his English for the year. I allow the children to work on whatever subject they choose to for the day. It works out SO much better. You know, some days I could not count to ten with both hands, but I could write pages. Other days I can barely form a coherent sentence, but I REALLY GET an algebraic equation and want to learn more.
The kids are the same way, and it makes sense. I feel it is better to spend the time to go DEEP in a subject. Your brain is forming pathways, literally "cognitive maps" of information, when you study and learn. Well if you stop that map halfway through, your brain can have a harder time coming back to it and picking up where it left off. Kinda like if you watch half hour of a one hour tv show one day, then come back and watch the second half the next day. Actually it is EXACTLY the same thing--your brain did not get to complete the cognitive map, did not get to form the whole picture of the story. When you came back the next day, you have forgotten some of the nuances and details of the story of the night before and THERE IS NO FLOW because you interrupted the information processing of your brain. If you had watched the whole tv show, you would have a greater understand of the whole story.
So kids are the same way in learning, IMO. They learn so much more deeply and thoroughly when they go to the point where their brain can form a complete map. Some days, their brain is ready for language, for creativity, for rhetoric and "fuzzy" stuff. Some days their brain is ready for math, science, logic and reason. So by allowing them to choose, they seem to be learning very well.
Now, I will say this, they are also learning that it is a REALLY bad idea to do each subject RIGHT up until the test, then switch to another subject ;). That means they have 3-five tests in a day! Precious only made that mistake once or twice.
Also, the first time they get to choose, they will start with doing the fun subjects first, their favorites, then have 20 lessons of their least favorite subject. They learn that it is better to either do what you do not like first OR do what you do not like AND what you do like. I am grateful that the Lord is teaching them diligence and responsibility and organizing their tasks with this!
I do not let them go to the next grade in anything, though, until they finish up all of their schoolwork for the year in the grade they are working on.
Anyway, both of my children read late. I mean REALLY REALLY REALLY late. I read at age five. I tried to teach Precious to read since she was 4 years old and by age 8, she was STILL only reading "cat, bat, rat". I was in quite a state of stress, let me tell you!
But you know what? The Lord was merciful and kind. She had been showing many signs of dyslexia, though at the time I did not realize it very much. Suddenly in the early spring when she was 8, the Lord reorganized her brain or opened a path or something. Her reading took off, and by the time fall came around, she was reading just above grade level. Now she reads at about 9th grade level. Her brain just needed time.
Same with Little Man, though I think his was more "will" than "skill", but the timing is very close. His reading is just taking off now, and he is skipping up the reading level charts. He just finished his third grade year, but is reading slightly into the 4th grade. About right.
I digress (again). Because he was SO late in reading (and therefore was not spelling either), we put English off til the end of the year (thank the Lord for flexibility that homeschooling provides!). BUT that means that he had WEEKS of nothing but English, his least favorite subject.
I told him that he could not go hunting unless he finished his English for the 3rd grade year. I must say that boy buckled down! We would count how many lessons he had left, how many days he had left, and figure out how many lessons he had to do. I led him to decision making ("Ok, well you have to do at least 4 lessons a day...but what if you need to take a break or something happens where you cannot work one day?"), and he would make choices based on what he had left. He did a good job of thinking ahead.
The final day he did...get this...THIRTEEN LESSONS. That includes a couple of quizzes and a test. He did not have to finish all 13 that day! In fact, he still had a few days left, he could have taken it easy. However, I think both of us were ready for it to be done. Poor boy was SO brain fried at the final test! His brain literally just sort of gave up about 5 questions from the end of the test, but he pulled it out. I think it was good for him to build up some mental endurance.
SO we can start the new year next week, after I test him to see what grade he can do in various subjects (I love that SOS has placement tests!!). Precious has been working on her new school year for the past two months...she got her work done earlier than he did. She is doing 6th grade history, 7th grade science and 8th grade math and english.
Speaking of SOS, I also love the fact that you only have to buy a grade level curriculum once, and can school many children on it. We bought grades for Precious, and can school Little Man on them, without having to buy different workbooks or anything (because it is all computer based). It is actually a very inexpensive proposition when you look at it that way.
So I am pretty psyched about this school year, thank the Lord! I know that there are always hurdles, but reading was the biggie for me so far. Now that they, thank the Lord, have gotten that in order, I am excited about how this year might go!
God Bless you sisters!
Anyway, wanted to chat a bit about homeschooling and then I REALLY need to print off those records!!
We use Switched On Schoolhouse and L.O.V.E. it. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE it. It has its bugs as it is software and computers have glitches sometimes. Sometimes something is marked wrong when it is right, etc, so I have to go back and recheck answers, especially if the children leave a note saying "I REALLY think I got this right!". 90% of the time they DID! But those occasions are not often.
I love that it is computer based (no paper!) and already organized (NOT one of my strong suits--in fact just last week, after both of us trying to get me more organized for 14 years, TWS said "Your brain is chaotic...go with it..." lolol).
Anyway, I had told Little Man that he could not go hunting until he finished his English for the year. I allow the children to work on whatever subject they choose to for the day. It works out SO much better. You know, some days I could not count to ten with both hands, but I could write pages. Other days I can barely form a coherent sentence, but I REALLY GET an algebraic equation and want to learn more.
The kids are the same way, and it makes sense. I feel it is better to spend the time to go DEEP in a subject. Your brain is forming pathways, literally "cognitive maps" of information, when you study and learn. Well if you stop that map halfway through, your brain can have a harder time coming back to it and picking up where it left off. Kinda like if you watch half hour of a one hour tv show one day, then come back and watch the second half the next day. Actually it is EXACTLY the same thing--your brain did not get to complete the cognitive map, did not get to form the whole picture of the story. When you came back the next day, you have forgotten some of the nuances and details of the story of the night before and THERE IS NO FLOW because you interrupted the information processing of your brain. If you had watched the whole tv show, you would have a greater understand of the whole story.
So kids are the same way in learning, IMO. They learn so much more deeply and thoroughly when they go to the point where their brain can form a complete map. Some days, their brain is ready for language, for creativity, for rhetoric and "fuzzy" stuff. Some days their brain is ready for math, science, logic and reason. So by allowing them to choose, they seem to be learning very well.
Now, I will say this, they are also learning that it is a REALLY bad idea to do each subject RIGHT up until the test, then switch to another subject ;). That means they have 3-five tests in a day! Precious only made that mistake once or twice.
Also, the first time they get to choose, they will start with doing the fun subjects first, their favorites, then have 20 lessons of their least favorite subject. They learn that it is better to either do what you do not like first OR do what you do not like AND what you do like. I am grateful that the Lord is teaching them diligence and responsibility and organizing their tasks with this!
I do not let them go to the next grade in anything, though, until they finish up all of their schoolwork for the year in the grade they are working on.
Anyway, both of my children read late. I mean REALLY REALLY REALLY late. I read at age five. I tried to teach Precious to read since she was 4 years old and by age 8, she was STILL only reading "cat, bat, rat". I was in quite a state of stress, let me tell you!
But you know what? The Lord was merciful and kind. She had been showing many signs of dyslexia, though at the time I did not realize it very much. Suddenly in the early spring when she was 8, the Lord reorganized her brain or opened a path or something. Her reading took off, and by the time fall came around, she was reading just above grade level. Now she reads at about 9th grade level. Her brain just needed time.
Same with Little Man, though I think his was more "will" than "skill", but the timing is very close. His reading is just taking off now, and he is skipping up the reading level charts. He just finished his third grade year, but is reading slightly into the 4th grade. About right.
I digress (again). Because he was SO late in reading (and therefore was not spelling either), we put English off til the end of the year (thank the Lord for flexibility that homeschooling provides!). BUT that means that he had WEEKS of nothing but English, his least favorite subject.
I told him that he could not go hunting unless he finished his English for the 3rd grade year. I must say that boy buckled down! We would count how many lessons he had left, how many days he had left, and figure out how many lessons he had to do. I led him to decision making ("Ok, well you have to do at least 4 lessons a day...but what if you need to take a break or something happens where you cannot work one day?"), and he would make choices based on what he had left. He did a good job of thinking ahead.
The final day he did...get this...THIRTEEN LESSONS. That includes a couple of quizzes and a test. He did not have to finish all 13 that day! In fact, he still had a few days left, he could have taken it easy. However, I think both of us were ready for it to be done. Poor boy was SO brain fried at the final test! His brain literally just sort of gave up about 5 questions from the end of the test, but he pulled it out. I think it was good for him to build up some mental endurance.
SO we can start the new year next week, after I test him to see what grade he can do in various subjects (I love that SOS has placement tests!!). Precious has been working on her new school year for the past two months...she got her work done earlier than he did. She is doing 6th grade history, 7th grade science and 8th grade math and english.
Speaking of SOS, I also love the fact that you only have to buy a grade level curriculum once, and can school many children on it. We bought grades for Precious, and can school Little Man on them, without having to buy different workbooks or anything (because it is all computer based). It is actually a very inexpensive proposition when you look at it that way.
So I am pretty psyched about this school year, thank the Lord! I know that there are always hurdles, but reading was the biggie for me so far. Now that they, thank the Lord, have gotten that in order, I am excited about how this year might go!
God Bless you sisters!
Sweeping up....
My beautiful sisters!
Whew, I tell you what, with me it is either feast or famine! :-)
I wanted to sweep up a few details, a few funnies, ask for a few prayers. Generally knot up the loose ends from this past couple of weeks....
First of all, prayers: please pray for our family. My mom, dad, aunts, cousins, uncles who are dealing with the passing of my grandmother. I think everyone is healing, is finding peace, but I am not sure. Please pray for them. Please pray that this is a situation that brings together, not tears apart, as deaths in the family can either make a family stronger or tear them apart.
And please thank the Lord for me and with me that my grandmother's passing was so peaceful. I really cannot tell you what a blessing it was!
Please pray for SHAW's sister as she is very sick and needs healing AND encouragement.
Please continue to pray for that veteran of a few posts ago.
Please pray for the Palin's, as they deal with the politics and the personal challenges they face.
Please pray for our brothers and sisters in the path of the hurricanes--wow they are lining up one by one aren't they? My dear, wonderful, beautiful cousin is working with evacuee children...Please pray for her, as she does not know how wonderful and beautiful she is, but she has ALWAYS had the most wonderful spirit. I miss her terribly.
Please pray for the safety of the hunters as our hunting season has opened in earnest and many of us up here are relying on hunting to provide food for our family. Alaska is very expensive to live, and the price of gas is NOT falling here, neither is the price of fuel oil. So hunting food instead of buying it is such a wonderful provision from the Lord. Please pray that all those who need the food can be successful, and pray that everyone is kept safe.
There are so many people to pray for! The unborn, the abused, the sorrowed, the lost. Please understand that our prayers ARE necessary and ARE doing something. Remember that our battle is NOT AT ALL against flesh and blood but against rulers and principalities in the heavenly realms. Please read Ephesians 6:10-20 and ponder it in your heart, especially when we tend to hurry our prayers or think they are not effective.
Ephesians 6 (Young's Literal Translation, one of my favorites, taken from Crosswalk.com)
6:10 As to the rest, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might;
6:11 put on the whole armour of God, for your being able to stand against the wiles of the devil,
6:12 because we have not the wrestling with blood and flesh, but with the principalities, with the authorities, with the world-rulers of the darkness of this age, with the spiritual things of the evil in the heavenly places;
6:13 because of this take ye up the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to resist in the day of the evil, and all things having done -- to stand.
6:14 Stand, therefore, having your loins girt about in truth, and having put on the breastplate of the righteousness,
6:15 and having the feet shod in the preparation of the good-news of the peace;
6:16 above all, having taken up the shield of the faith, in which ye shall be able all the fiery darts of the evil one to quench,
6:17 and the helmet of the salvation receive, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the saying of God,
6:18 through all prayer and supplication praying at all times in the Spirit, and in regard to this same, watching in all perseverance and supplication for all the saints --
6:19 and in behalf of me, that to me may be given a word in the opening of my mouth, in freedom, to make known the secret of the good news,
6:20 for which I am an ambassador in a chain, that in it I may speak freely -- as it behoveth me to speak.
If this translation is difficult (I have seen it said that YLT is good in hebrew, but light on English, as this translation was actually striving to be VERY literal). It is important that we know that we are to pray, that our strength comes from the Lord and His might, and that the Spirit knows what we need to pray for when we do not. (We should do a study on prayer sometime. I will admit that while I do pray and often, I have not actually thought much about it. Hmmm....)
Ok, more sweepings.....
A couple of funny things....for some reason, when I was very upset about my grandmother, everyone tried to find things for me to do! Precious kept trying to come up with ideas, such as games and the like, and TWS suggested that I could redecorate the bedroom while he was gone (chuckle).
Now, I know what they were trying to do, and I DEEPLY appreciate it! They know that I am a project person and were trying to give me things to do to keep me occupied. It just kinda cracks me up :-).
I tell you what I DID do....
I played bubble shooter.
Yep, that is pretty much it! Ok, not really, I did more than that, but bubble shooter was SUCH a blessing to me (thank you Kayla!!! You have no idea how much it helped!). It is one of those games you have to be VERY careful with because it is a colossal time waster. No, seriously. DREADFUL!
BUT what it also was to me was something that required JUST enough of my brain so that I could not spin up into even more of an emotional mess. I could think and even pray, but I could not DWELL and be MOROSE. Yesterday I kept a game of bubble shooter open and an MSWORD document page open. I would shoot bubbles, and write to the Lord. Shoot more bubbles, write more to the Lord. Bubble shooting kept my emotions more at bay, because it was distracting BUT it was not so engrossing that I could not ponder things and pray. It was SUCH a blessing! I played until I could literally barely see from the eye strain.
I have spent a ton of time talking to my brother and sister in law. I have chatted with my cousin and my father and my mom. I have started a painting (see, I DID need a project!). I shot my bow. Precious Heart and I went to town and got conditioner and went to the candy store and to chilis for lunch. I watched the weather channel, preseason football, and live streaming video from a tv station in New Orleans for Gustav (thank the Lord that He blew the strength out of that one! I was praying!). I almost finished sewing a dress for Precious and cut out some more.
I think I am most grateful, and feel good that, I spent the first few days after my grandmother passed just doing nothing. I know that it worried people around me GREATLY, but I just needed a couple of days of no responsibilities, of no pressures, very little activity. Oh I could have kept that going and kept mourning and sorrowful for longer, but I was afraid that I would sink into a depression that way. I liked to think of it sort of like three days of darkness when Jesus died, then a new day. For some reason, three days of stillness, sorrow and full up mourning seems appropriate, then a gradual return to life. At least for me, at least in this situation. I still miss my grandmother, and I still get sad. But thank the Lord that I am not eaten up with her passing, but that the Lord put me back on my feet, gradually, and with me leaning on His arm. Each day my legs are getting stronger, and I am returning back to duties and responsibilities. I could almost cry as I see how He is being patient with me, giving me enough time to heal, but also gently urging me to get back in the game. He sat by my spiritual bedside for many days, being faithful (as always!) and kind, teaching me and comforting me. Now His strong arm is around my shoulder. He is actually too kind for me to even comprehend....I know that there is more, but my brain cannot actually wrap my head around it....like a math puzzle I just cannot understand. But I am thankful and eager that one day I will know as I am fully known!
Oh I did learn another thing--I keep trying to get grace on my strength not His. Oh my sisters, I will NEVER learn this lesson!!! Ok, I will learn it, but MAN I am hard headed!!! No wonder He brought me to the edge of the frontier--I am as distractable as a ping pong ball on drugs. :-)
Well I probably need to stop writing now...I have to start printing out records for the children's schooling. We school year round....not because of any reason but that I tend to want to take days off here and there, and I do not want us to fall behind. I want to be able to take a week for hunting, or a day because I would rather bake cinnamon rolls and read Trixie Belden mysteries :-).
I love you my beautiful sisters. Please take care of yourselves and your families and be heartened and cheered in the Lord. He is always faithful, we just sometimes need to pray for eyes to see His faithfulness :-).
Whew, I tell you what, with me it is either feast or famine! :-)
I wanted to sweep up a few details, a few funnies, ask for a few prayers. Generally knot up the loose ends from this past couple of weeks....
First of all, prayers: please pray for our family. My mom, dad, aunts, cousins, uncles who are dealing with the passing of my grandmother. I think everyone is healing, is finding peace, but I am not sure. Please pray for them. Please pray that this is a situation that brings together, not tears apart, as deaths in the family can either make a family stronger or tear them apart.
And please thank the Lord for me and with me that my grandmother's passing was so peaceful. I really cannot tell you what a blessing it was!
Please pray for SHAW's sister as she is very sick and needs healing AND encouragement.
Please continue to pray for that veteran of a few posts ago.
Please pray for the Palin's, as they deal with the politics and the personal challenges they face.
Please pray for our brothers and sisters in the path of the hurricanes--wow they are lining up one by one aren't they? My dear, wonderful, beautiful cousin is working with evacuee children...Please pray for her, as she does not know how wonderful and beautiful she is, but she has ALWAYS had the most wonderful spirit. I miss her terribly.
Please pray for the safety of the hunters as our hunting season has opened in earnest and many of us up here are relying on hunting to provide food for our family. Alaska is very expensive to live, and the price of gas is NOT falling here, neither is the price of fuel oil. So hunting food instead of buying it is such a wonderful provision from the Lord. Please pray that all those who need the food can be successful, and pray that everyone is kept safe.
There are so many people to pray for! The unborn, the abused, the sorrowed, the lost. Please understand that our prayers ARE necessary and ARE doing something. Remember that our battle is NOT AT ALL against flesh and blood but against rulers and principalities in the heavenly realms. Please read Ephesians 6:10-20 and ponder it in your heart, especially when we tend to hurry our prayers or think they are not effective.
Ephesians 6 (Young's Literal Translation, one of my favorites, taken from Crosswalk.com)
6:10 As to the rest, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might;
6:11 put on the whole armour of God, for your being able to stand against the wiles of the devil,
6:12 because we have not the wrestling with blood and flesh, but with the principalities, with the authorities, with the world-rulers of the darkness of this age, with the spiritual things of the evil in the heavenly places;
6:13 because of this take ye up the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to resist in the day of the evil, and all things having done -- to stand.
6:14 Stand, therefore, having your loins girt about in truth, and having put on the breastplate of the righteousness,
6:15 and having the feet shod in the preparation of the good-news of the peace;
6:16 above all, having taken up the shield of the faith, in which ye shall be able all the fiery darts of the evil one to quench,
6:17 and the helmet of the salvation receive, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the saying of God,
6:18 through all prayer and supplication praying at all times in the Spirit, and in regard to this same, watching in all perseverance and supplication for all the saints --
6:19 and in behalf of me, that to me may be given a word in the opening of my mouth, in freedom, to make known the secret of the good news,
6:20 for which I am an ambassador in a chain, that in it I may speak freely -- as it behoveth me to speak.
If this translation is difficult (I have seen it said that YLT is good in hebrew, but light on English, as this translation was actually striving to be VERY literal). It is important that we know that we are to pray, that our strength comes from the Lord and His might, and that the Spirit knows what we need to pray for when we do not. (We should do a study on prayer sometime. I will admit that while I do pray and often, I have not actually thought much about it. Hmmm....)
Ok, more sweepings.....
A couple of funny things....for some reason, when I was very upset about my grandmother, everyone tried to find things for me to do! Precious kept trying to come up with ideas, such as games and the like, and TWS suggested that I could redecorate the bedroom while he was gone (chuckle).
Now, I know what they were trying to do, and I DEEPLY appreciate it! They know that I am a project person and were trying to give me things to do to keep me occupied. It just kinda cracks me up :-).
I tell you what I DID do....
I played bubble shooter.
Yep, that is pretty much it! Ok, not really, I did more than that, but bubble shooter was SUCH a blessing to me (thank you Kayla!!! You have no idea how much it helped!). It is one of those games you have to be VERY careful with because it is a colossal time waster. No, seriously. DREADFUL!
BUT what it also was to me was something that required JUST enough of my brain so that I could not spin up into even more of an emotional mess. I could think and even pray, but I could not DWELL and be MOROSE. Yesterday I kept a game of bubble shooter open and an MSWORD document page open. I would shoot bubbles, and write to the Lord. Shoot more bubbles, write more to the Lord. Bubble shooting kept my emotions more at bay, because it was distracting BUT it was not so engrossing that I could not ponder things and pray. It was SUCH a blessing! I played until I could literally barely see from the eye strain.
I have spent a ton of time talking to my brother and sister in law. I have chatted with my cousin and my father and my mom. I have started a painting (see, I DID need a project!). I shot my bow. Precious Heart and I went to town and got conditioner and went to the candy store and to chilis for lunch. I watched the weather channel, preseason football, and live streaming video from a tv station in New Orleans for Gustav (thank the Lord that He blew the strength out of that one! I was praying!). I almost finished sewing a dress for Precious and cut out some more.
I think I am most grateful, and feel good that, I spent the first few days after my grandmother passed just doing nothing. I know that it worried people around me GREATLY, but I just needed a couple of days of no responsibilities, of no pressures, very little activity. Oh I could have kept that going and kept mourning and sorrowful for longer, but I was afraid that I would sink into a depression that way. I liked to think of it sort of like three days of darkness when Jesus died, then a new day. For some reason, three days of stillness, sorrow and full up mourning seems appropriate, then a gradual return to life. At least for me, at least in this situation. I still miss my grandmother, and I still get sad. But thank the Lord that I am not eaten up with her passing, but that the Lord put me back on my feet, gradually, and with me leaning on His arm. Each day my legs are getting stronger, and I am returning back to duties and responsibilities. I could almost cry as I see how He is being patient with me, giving me enough time to heal, but also gently urging me to get back in the game. He sat by my spiritual bedside for many days, being faithful (as always!) and kind, teaching me and comforting me. Now His strong arm is around my shoulder. He is actually too kind for me to even comprehend....I know that there is more, but my brain cannot actually wrap my head around it....like a math puzzle I just cannot understand. But I am thankful and eager that one day I will know as I am fully known!
Oh I did learn another thing--I keep trying to get grace on my strength not His. Oh my sisters, I will NEVER learn this lesson!!! Ok, I will learn it, but MAN I am hard headed!!! No wonder He brought me to the edge of the frontier--I am as distractable as a ping pong ball on drugs. :-)
Well I probably need to stop writing now...I have to start printing out records for the children's schooling. We school year round....not because of any reason but that I tend to want to take days off here and there, and I do not want us to fall behind. I want to be able to take a week for hunting, or a day because I would rather bake cinnamon rolls and read Trixie Belden mysteries :-).
I love you my beautiful sisters. Please take care of yourselves and your families and be heartened and cheered in the Lord. He is always faithful, we just sometimes need to pray for eyes to see His faithfulness :-).
My absence part 2
My beautiful sisters....
I wanted to continue my previous post, as there was just so much to say! How can one put the Lord's glory and provision in times of sorrow in ONE blog post? (smile)
So where was I? The Lord is breaking me down, day by day, but in the kindest of ways. I know that I get afraid of what the Lord would ask of me...and frankly I think it is best that I not know what He has in store for me in the future, because He will need to build my faith to accomplish whatever He wants me to accomplish.
If someone had said "Your grandmother is going to die and you will be almost entirely by yourself through it" two weeks ago, I would not have been able to handle it, or not understood the grace that He would provide. He had to walk me through, minute by minute. NOW I understand.
And do not think that I think that the Lord is only planning scary things for our lives! NO! I have found that even glorious, wonderful things are things that I am not ready for! In those times as well, He has to slowly lead me to the maturity and wisdom that I need to handle them! Right now I am like a toddler who keeps running off at the mall--as soon as I get some freedom or some praise, I run away from my Father's side and start exploring. He has to bring me back to His side (usually with a rebuke and chastisement) because it is not safe for me to wander. So even in good things, even in blessings, He has to walk me through step by step because I cannot handle the headiness of blessings any more than I can handle the sorrow of loss or have the courage required in times where I need to stand my ground.
So if you wonder why you are not being blessed with what you desire, there is a reason. He has His plans and they are NOT to make you miserable but to teach you and to guide you! Now, sometimes we do not get what we want. But even those should be times of praise because we THINK our lives would have been better if we did get what we want, but they would not have.
Here is an example or two. One day I could not find my keys. I looked and looked and they were no where! If I had had the choice, I would have found them. However, because I could not find them, I was home to take the phone call of a friend who needed me. The Lord orchestrated that situation to bring glory to His name, not mine.
Also, I was born with a birth defect and was teased quite mercilessly at times in my life. I was in agony and sorrow. BUT the Lord always provided me with one true friend, I mean a TRUE friend--one you could trust. I always wanted to be popular (don't most girls?), but I never was. Instead of many shallow relationships, I had very few, but they were deep and lasting and bonding.
Also, because I was teased, that "thorn in my flesh" changed my entire personality. I shudder to think of what I would have become without it. I would be even more vain, even more shallow, even more proud and haughty. My defect gave me humility, which is of great worth in God's sight. Now, understand that I am not THAT humble! I needed a very obvious defect to even bring me to what I am now! (imagine how intolerable I would be! lolol). Likewise He brought me to the ends of the earth, almost literally, in order to isolate me so that I would learn to lean on Him. He is always faithful, even during our most painful times, and uses those for our good.
BUT AGAIN, that does not mean that our lives will be nothing but painful! No! With the grace and the patience of the Lord, I am starting to understand what the Lord meant with Jesus and Paul and the thorn. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.". Then Paul said that he delights in difficulties, for when he is weak, then he is strong.
It is scary, but again, the Lord is not going to put us in things we cannot handle. It is kinda like this: when we are young, we dog paddle in the kiddie pool and ride a tricycle and trip over sticks. NO ONE would think of taking that young child and putting them in an Iron Man triathalon. That would be cruel.
BUT the Lord continues to grow us, to groom us, so that we can handle the ocean swim, the miles long bike ride in the hot sun, the run up and down hills. The triathlete does not have the mind of a child thinking "I am just in a kiddie pool! I cannot swim in the ocean!". No, the triathlete has been trained, slowly, over their lives, so that they can achieve greater glory safely.
Likewise the Lord trains us, slowly, so that we can achieve more for Him in spiritual and emotional safety. So do not be afraid of what He might have you do....He is not throwing you into the deep end of the ocean. He will train you, guide you, save you so that you are ready for whatever task or situation you will face. He might need to train you for something happy, like children or an inheritance or being a famous author. OR He might need to train you for something difficult like being a missionary, comforting the dying, or a weather tragedy. In any case, He will not give you more than you can bear, either good or bad. But you have to listen to Him. Someone cannot say "Well, I outgrew the kiddie pool, so i am definitely ready for a triathalon. They have to devote themselves to their Coach and be trained.
So do not worry about tomorrow, either good or bad. It wastes time to stress about what pain or stress you might face, and it wastes time to fret about what you really want that you do not have. He will show you what you need to know, and will give you what you can handle. What you need right now is what you have right now. His goal is to bring us to holiness and to bring others to Him so they may be saved, and our job is to glorify Him. We can do that in pleasure and in sorrow, but our witness is much more obvious in sorrow. It is easy to praise God to others when we just won the lottery....but people PAY ATTENTION more when we praise God when a loved one is sick or when we are standing in line for an hour.
I hope this is making sense. I am praying that it does and that it is neither too much nor too little. If anything I have said is stressful for you, do not let your heart be troubled. Remember, the point is that the LORD is in control, and He is not wanton or unkind. He is merciful and wonderful. He is patient and loving. He provides in all ways at all times. The point is to rest in Him and be at peace because He is guiding you. Soak every bit of wisdom from this moment, without fretting about what you want or what you fear in the future. Don't try to race ahead, and do not dwell in the sorrows, guilt, pain, or resentments of the past. Just rest at His feet and let Him lead you. He is faithful, He will do it.
Glory be to God in the Highest, and in His Son Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Spirit, our Counselor who right now dwells in the hearts of those who are called by Him, saved by His name.
I wanted to continue my previous post, as there was just so much to say! How can one put the Lord's glory and provision in times of sorrow in ONE blog post? (smile)
So where was I? The Lord is breaking me down, day by day, but in the kindest of ways. I know that I get afraid of what the Lord would ask of me...and frankly I think it is best that I not know what He has in store for me in the future, because He will need to build my faith to accomplish whatever He wants me to accomplish.
If someone had said "Your grandmother is going to die and you will be almost entirely by yourself through it" two weeks ago, I would not have been able to handle it, or not understood the grace that He would provide. He had to walk me through, minute by minute. NOW I understand.
And do not think that I think that the Lord is only planning scary things for our lives! NO! I have found that even glorious, wonderful things are things that I am not ready for! In those times as well, He has to slowly lead me to the maturity and wisdom that I need to handle them! Right now I am like a toddler who keeps running off at the mall--as soon as I get some freedom or some praise, I run away from my Father's side and start exploring. He has to bring me back to His side (usually with a rebuke and chastisement) because it is not safe for me to wander. So even in good things, even in blessings, He has to walk me through step by step because I cannot handle the headiness of blessings any more than I can handle the sorrow of loss or have the courage required in times where I need to stand my ground.
So if you wonder why you are not being blessed with what you desire, there is a reason. He has His plans and they are NOT to make you miserable but to teach you and to guide you! Now, sometimes we do not get what we want. But even those should be times of praise because we THINK our lives would have been better if we did get what we want, but they would not have.
Here is an example or two. One day I could not find my keys. I looked and looked and they were no where! If I had had the choice, I would have found them. However, because I could not find them, I was home to take the phone call of a friend who needed me. The Lord orchestrated that situation to bring glory to His name, not mine.
Also, I was born with a birth defect and was teased quite mercilessly at times in my life. I was in agony and sorrow. BUT the Lord always provided me with one true friend, I mean a TRUE friend--one you could trust. I always wanted to be popular (don't most girls?), but I never was. Instead of many shallow relationships, I had very few, but they were deep and lasting and bonding.
Also, because I was teased, that "thorn in my flesh" changed my entire personality. I shudder to think of what I would have become without it. I would be even more vain, even more shallow, even more proud and haughty. My defect gave me humility, which is of great worth in God's sight. Now, understand that I am not THAT humble! I needed a very obvious defect to even bring me to what I am now! (imagine how intolerable I would be! lolol). Likewise He brought me to the ends of the earth, almost literally, in order to isolate me so that I would learn to lean on Him. He is always faithful, even during our most painful times, and uses those for our good.
BUT AGAIN, that does not mean that our lives will be nothing but painful! No! With the grace and the patience of the Lord, I am starting to understand what the Lord meant with Jesus and Paul and the thorn. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.". Then Paul said that he delights in difficulties, for when he is weak, then he is strong.
It is scary, but again, the Lord is not going to put us in things we cannot handle. It is kinda like this: when we are young, we dog paddle in the kiddie pool and ride a tricycle and trip over sticks. NO ONE would think of taking that young child and putting them in an Iron Man triathalon. That would be cruel.
BUT the Lord continues to grow us, to groom us, so that we can handle the ocean swim, the miles long bike ride in the hot sun, the run up and down hills. The triathlete does not have the mind of a child thinking "I am just in a kiddie pool! I cannot swim in the ocean!". No, the triathlete has been trained, slowly, over their lives, so that they can achieve greater glory safely.
Likewise the Lord trains us, slowly, so that we can achieve more for Him in spiritual and emotional safety. So do not be afraid of what He might have you do....He is not throwing you into the deep end of the ocean. He will train you, guide you, save you so that you are ready for whatever task or situation you will face. He might need to train you for something happy, like children or an inheritance or being a famous author. OR He might need to train you for something difficult like being a missionary, comforting the dying, or a weather tragedy. In any case, He will not give you more than you can bear, either good or bad. But you have to listen to Him. Someone cannot say "Well, I outgrew the kiddie pool, so i am definitely ready for a triathalon. They have to devote themselves to their Coach and be trained.
So do not worry about tomorrow, either good or bad. It wastes time to stress about what pain or stress you might face, and it wastes time to fret about what you really want that you do not have. He will show you what you need to know, and will give you what you can handle. What you need right now is what you have right now. His goal is to bring us to holiness and to bring others to Him so they may be saved, and our job is to glorify Him. We can do that in pleasure and in sorrow, but our witness is much more obvious in sorrow. It is easy to praise God to others when we just won the lottery....but people PAY ATTENTION more when we praise God when a loved one is sick or when we are standing in line for an hour.
I hope this is making sense. I am praying that it does and that it is neither too much nor too little. If anything I have said is stressful for you, do not let your heart be troubled. Remember, the point is that the LORD is in control, and He is not wanton or unkind. He is merciful and wonderful. He is patient and loving. He provides in all ways at all times. The point is to rest in Him and be at peace because He is guiding you. Soak every bit of wisdom from this moment, without fretting about what you want or what you fear in the future. Don't try to race ahead, and do not dwell in the sorrows, guilt, pain, or resentments of the past. Just rest at His feet and let Him lead you. He is faithful, He will do it.
Glory be to God in the Highest, and in His Son Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Spirit, our Counselor who right now dwells in the hearts of those who are called by Him, saved by His name.
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