Thursday, July 31, 2008
Yeast bread baking tips
My beautiful sisters!!!
Today I thought I would make a post regarding bread baking. Our summer is pretty much done, and it seems that bread baking is just the perfect post for a rainy July day!
I do not know how much y'all bake, but I cannot encourage it enough! It takes a few tries, but the reward, in cost, flavor and health, are MORE than worth it. It is not hard, it just takes a bit of practice. At some point I can post an entire start-to-finish process if y'all like, but I thought this time I would offer tips to make this process easier.
Bread can be made with only four ingredients: yeast, water, salt, and flour. Nothing else is required to make bread. However, when you make bread with only these four ingredients, you need to incorporate time in order to fully develop flavors of bread.
However, if you are starting out, creating that sort of "artisan bread" can be a bit daunting. I am still trying to learn how to do it! So let's start with an enriched bread.
In enriched bread, you add ingredients for flavoring and for conditioning the "crumb" (making it more soft and sponge-like and less crumbly).
First tip: Convenience! This works for any recipes that you use often enough to use, but not often enough to commit to memory: tape them to the inside of your cabinets! I have my top bread recipes printed out and taped to my "baking cabinet". In my baking cabinet, I have my recipe box, measuring cups, various flours, sugar, baking soda, etc. It does not have all my baking items--they would not fit. But most of my items are right there :-)
Second Tip: Salt. Do not forget the salt or omit it. It makes the bread taste terrible and is necessary for the yeast to work correctly. I have tried it before (on accident). If you are on a salt restricted diet, ask your doc, but the amount (usually 1-2 tsp) is so small when distributed throughout the whole loaf that you are not getting very much at all.
You can also get wheat gluten in bulk. It is MUCH cheaper. Safeway's bulk bin where I am carries Bob's Red Mill in their bulk bins (which is funny because the Bobs Red Mill in the baking section in boxes is VERY expensive, but you can get the same thing cheaper in the bulk bins!). I buy quantities of it and keep it in a rubbermain container in my fridge.
Sixth Tip: WETTER IS BETTER! This might be the most important tip of them all. I learned it from SHAW when she worked at a bakery. Dry dough means a dry bread. Wet dough means a moister bread. If you have been making "bricks", this is probably why (though another reason can be that the yeast is dead or killed with too hot of water, or that there has not been enough gluten development).
The top picture is dry dough. You can see the flour that still needs to be incorporated, and the dough looks and feels stiff. It is not smooth, but rather like chunky oatmeal.
Today I thought I would make a post regarding bread baking. Our summer is pretty much done, and it seems that bread baking is just the perfect post for a rainy July day!
I do not know how much y'all bake, but I cannot encourage it enough! It takes a few tries, but the reward, in cost, flavor and health, are MORE than worth it. It is not hard, it just takes a bit of practice. At some point I can post an entire start-to-finish process if y'all like, but I thought this time I would offer tips to make this process easier.
Bread can be made with only four ingredients: yeast, water, salt, and flour. Nothing else is required to make bread. However, when you make bread with only these four ingredients, you need to incorporate time in order to fully develop flavors of bread.
However, if you are starting out, creating that sort of "artisan bread" can be a bit daunting. I am still trying to learn how to do it! So let's start with an enriched bread.
In enriched bread, you add ingredients for flavoring and for conditioning the "crumb" (making it more soft and sponge-like and less crumbly).
First tip: Convenience! This works for any recipes that you use often enough to use, but not often enough to commit to memory: tape them to the inside of your cabinets! I have my top bread recipes printed out and taped to my "baking cabinet". In my baking cabinet, I have my recipe box, measuring cups, various flours, sugar, baking soda, etc. It does not have all my baking items--they would not fit. But most of my items are right there :-)
Second Tip: Salt. Do not forget the salt or omit it. It makes the bread taste terrible and is necessary for the yeast to work correctly. I have tried it before (on accident). If you are on a salt restricted diet, ask your doc, but the amount (usually 1-2 tsp) is so small when distributed throughout the whole loaf that you are not getting very much at all.
Third Tip: Powdered Milk. This gives bread a creamy, smooth texture and mouth feel. It is truly amazing what it does to bread. I usually put two to four of these heaping soup spoons in my bread recipe.
Fourth Tip: Oil. Oil also makes the crumb smooth and the mouth feel pleasant. I use butter at times, which is wonderful, but I find that the extra light olive oil works wonderfully.
Fifth Tip: Wheat Gluten. I cannot TELL you how much this changes the crumb of the bread from crumbly to smooth and elastic. It is particularly useful for whole wheat breads, where the wheat grains tend to tear the strings of naturally forming gluten in the dough. Adding extra gluten keeps bread from being crumbly. Different flours have different amounts of gluten already in them. The "bread machine", "artisan" and "better for bread" flours have higher amounts of gluten. "Pastry" flour has lower amounts, it is made with soft winter wheat instead of hard wheat. We do not want gluten when making pie crusts or biscuits as it makes them tough. However we DO want gluten in making bread--it makes them airy.
You can also get wheat gluten in bulk. It is MUCH cheaper. Safeway's bulk bin where I am carries Bob's Red Mill in their bulk bins (which is funny because the Bobs Red Mill in the baking section in boxes is VERY expensive, but you can get the same thing cheaper in the bulk bins!). I buy quantities of it and keep it in a rubbermain container in my fridge.
Sixth Tip: WETTER IS BETTER! This might be the most important tip of them all. I learned it from SHAW when she worked at a bakery. Dry dough means a dry bread. Wet dough means a moister bread. If you have been making "bricks", this is probably why (though another reason can be that the yeast is dead or killed with too hot of water, or that there has not been enough gluten development).
The top picture is dry dough. You can see the flour that still needs to be incorporated, and the dough looks and feels stiff. It is not smooth, but rather like chunky oatmeal.
This second picture shows two things: a wetter dough and some gluten development. Gluten is a protein found in wheat, and it creates long strings which form sort of a "web" to trap the gas bubbles that the yeasts are creating when they digest their food. When you have good gluten development, you can trap more gas. This creates a more airy texture and a pleasing mouth feel. Dry dough prevents good "netting", creating bread that is tough, dry, crumbly, dense, and heavy. This is really a pretty wet dough and you can have a slightly drier dough, but it is better to err on the side of wet than on the side of dry.
Seventh Tip: Forget following the recipe exactly! Now, the thing with breads is that they are very forgiving in some ways--you can add and subtract ingredients with almost total abandon. HOWEVER, the problem with bread RECIPES is that they are only a GUIDE. If you are a strict recipe follower, you need to probably get out of that habit with breads. The problem is that different brands of flour, when and where it was packed and stored, and your house humidity GREATLY affect how much water your bread will need. In dry climates, during a dry day, adding other dry ingredients, or using a whole grain flour will require MUCH more water than flour that is already holding some water from the air. Rely on FEEL, not on recipe amounts. You can always add a little more water or flour to create a damper dough.
Eighth tip: do not overproof your bread. That means when you are letting the bread rise for the second time, do not let it go "just to see how big it will get". It will look big and beautiful and incredible until it is baked...then it will sink and sag like a depressed mushroom.
Ninth Tip: Buy yeast at a warehouse club. Yeast is mind boggling expensive in regular grocery stores compared to warehouse clubs. I can get two pounds of yeast for LESS than I can get a few ounces in a jar at the grocery store! They are vacuum packed and have lasted on my shelf for years, unopened. Or you can store them in the freezer. I refrigerate mine when I open them.
I am sure there are many more tips that I can think of, but this will get us started anyway :-). I am considering going through various "easy to make, but looks hard" things that can help us create healthier lives for our families and save us money as well. Let me know if you have any questions or want to see something posted here!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Waking the Gator
Ok true story....
When I was about 11 or 12, I think, our family was traveling and stopped at a reptile park. We decided to stay and watch the alligator show. There was a big fenced in ring with a shallow "pond" at one end and several alligators in it. The seats were ringside.
Ok, for one trick, the wrangler got a gator and flipped him over on his back to put him to sleep. Then he asked for a volunteer. My hand SHOT up in the air then I looked around and realized "No one else is volunteering....hmmm" and jerked my hand down. Too late. He saw me and called me in. At this point I realized that my exuberance just dun wrote a check my body did not really want to cash.
So I walk into the big pen with a lot of gators lounging by some water and not to terribly far from where I was and nothing between me and them. He said "We are going to wake this gator up. See that gate you just came in? that is where we are going to go OUT. FAST.".
Uh huh.....ummmm....oookkkkk .... I think at that point I wondered if he was going to take point or bring up the rear...I mean surely it would be bad form to let the little cross-eyed tourist take the hit, right?? RIGHT??
Now at this point he taught me a VERY cool thing...if you ever feel the need to wake an alligator that you just flipped over, you run your knuckles from his throat to his belly button. Y'know...just FYI....
So on the count of three, with my one good eye racing between the sleeping gator at my feet and the fully conscious gators not 20 feet from me ("How fast can they run again, Mr. Gator Man?"), I ran my trembling fingers down the underside of the gator and started to take off......and was stopped by the Gator Man.
Dagnabit, I did not press hard enough and the gator is still stacking zzz's. The man told me to try again, and at this point I have to think "Y'know, he looks pretty comfy and *I* certainly could use a nap...let's just let sleeping gators lie.". But no dice and I tried again.
DAGNABIT AGAIN! It's a swing and a miss! Again with the sleeping gator, again with me trying to run away, and again with Mr. Gator Man catching me before I escape.
xsighx
Because at this point I was putting the other gators (and the crowd) asleep from boredom, he said that we would do it together Ready?....1...2...3! Gave a tummy noogie to the gator, BOLTED out the gate and learned a VERY important lesson: Never volunteer without knowing what you are volunteering for first, and NEVER, I repeat, NEVER volunteer to a man standing in a ring full of gators....
That’s just good advice.
When I was about 11 or 12, I think, our family was traveling and stopped at a reptile park. We decided to stay and watch the alligator show. There was a big fenced in ring with a shallow "pond" at one end and several alligators in it. The seats were ringside.
Ok, for one trick, the wrangler got a gator and flipped him over on his back to put him to sleep. Then he asked for a volunteer. My hand SHOT up in the air then I looked around and realized "No one else is volunteering....hmmm" and jerked my hand down. Too late. He saw me and called me in. At this point I realized that my exuberance just dun wrote a check my body did not really want to cash.
So I walk into the big pen with a lot of gators lounging by some water and not to terribly far from where I was and nothing between me and them. He said "We are going to wake this gator up. See that gate you just came in? that is where we are going to go OUT. FAST.".
Uh huh.....ummmm....oookkkkk .... I think at that point I wondered if he was going to take point or bring up the rear...I mean surely it would be bad form to let the little cross-eyed tourist take the hit, right?? RIGHT??
Now at this point he taught me a VERY cool thing...if you ever feel the need to wake an alligator that you just flipped over, you run your knuckles from his throat to his belly button. Y'know...just FYI....
So on the count of three, with my one good eye racing between the sleeping gator at my feet and the fully conscious gators not 20 feet from me ("How fast can they run again, Mr. Gator Man?"), I ran my trembling fingers down the underside of the gator and started to take off......and was stopped by the Gator Man.
Dagnabit, I did not press hard enough and the gator is still stacking zzz's. The man told me to try again, and at this point I have to think "Y'know, he looks pretty comfy and *I* certainly could use a nap...let's just let sleeping gators lie.". But no dice and I tried again.
DAGNABIT AGAIN! It's a swing and a miss! Again with the sleeping gator, again with me trying to run away, and again with Mr. Gator Man catching me before I escape.
xsighx
Because at this point I was putting the other gators (and the crowd) asleep from boredom, he said that we would do it together Ready?....1...2...3! Gave a tummy noogie to the gator, BOLTED out the gate and learned a VERY important lesson: Never volunteer without knowing what you are volunteering for first, and NEVER, I repeat, NEVER volunteer to a man standing in a ring full of gators....
That’s just good advice.
Monday, July 28, 2008
IMPROVE YOUR LIFE!!
Imagine me seeing this advertisement on tv...."YOU, yes YOU can improve your life in one easy move a day! With our special offer, YOU TOO can have a flatter tummy, less stress, a better intimate life, more well behaved kids. You can have a clean house, time to yourself, and drop at least one dress size!
But wait! There's more! You will also find more money, more fulfillment! You will become more creative! You will learn secrets about you you never knew! You will get in touch with your inner child, your inner lover, your inner teacher! You will laugh more, love more, save more money than you ever thought possible! Your self esteem will improve, your looks will improve. Your hair will be bouncy and shiny, your floors sparkling clean. Even your dog will be more obedient!
How much would YOU pay for this secret of the ages? $100? $200? What if I told you that this secret can be YOURS for $19.95!!!"
(Picture my trembling fingers as I open the envelope that holds the secret to more wealth and a firmer backside. Sllowwwlllyy I read these words that will change my life forever.....
TURN OFF THE BLOOMIN' COMPUTER/TV/PHONE, WOMAN!!! YOU ARE WASTING YOUR LIFE!!!
xsighx
My beautiful, darling sisters in Christ!!!
You might notice that there is more stuff at the bottom of the blog (I can wait while you scroll :-) ). Let me tell you why...
I do not know about you, but I am NOT the best homemaker ever. Actually at all. I am pretty pitiful, tbh. My house is very sanitary, but it is not very neat at times. The bathrooms are clean and the bed made, but there is clean laundry folded, but not put away, the desk a bit of a mess, projects everywhere.
It is not because my arm is broke. It is not because I do not know how to do what I need to do. It is because of.....
THE COMPUTER!!!! (ok, well it is because of my lack of self discipline!).
So, I want to be open and honest about this. I am not a great homemaker, but I COULD be if I actually DID homemaking instead of "really important research" and "catch up really quick on the news".
There was a time when I was much worse than now. A couple of years ago I was involved in a woman's forum. I eventually became a moderator, and frankly the forum took almost all my time. I know that many women were in the same boat (as you could see who was online, and many of us just seemed to "always be there")
The problem is that we did not get our work done. We were complaining about being overweight, not having our house clean, kids disruptive, no time for things we enjoy, suffering relationship with our husbands, etc.
If I had to guess, many women who overindulge in the computer probably have a day that is very similar to this:
"I'll just check the boards a second because I am a mod and it is my responisibili...oh look! Susie posted a pic of her twins! Let me just write a quick note...I might as well check the other boards while I am here. Xsighx, another fight with whatshername. She is just trolling, let me set her straight. OH! I think everyone would be interested in the supper I made last night. And I am going to make a QUICK post/comment about.....
headcovering/homemaking/dresses/halloween/clothvsdisposable/thumbvspaci/aspergers...
(grab lunch to eat at the puter)
WAHMvsSAHMvsWOTHM/vaccines/lead/pants/alcohol/obama/mccain/Idol/Paris....
(grab snack, make sure the kids are not setting anything on fire)
whatsforsupper/budget/spanking/timeouts/cosleeping/CIO/Bibleversions/cuteshoes/Christmas...
(grab coffee, notice 9 yr old shaves now...have we been on that long?)
Easter/JW/Cath/Baptist/Bush/longhair/shorthair/doghair/laundry stains/investments....
(HUBBY IS GOING TO BE HOME IN TEN MINUTES! ACK! MAJOR flash of guilt. Still in our sweats, house a mess, never brushed hair. Spend exactly 30 seconds on hair, 4 minutes on hamburger helper, 30 seconds checking kids, 1 minutes sweeping all toiletries in bathroom in drawer, 1 minute making phone call we promised to make for hubby, and the rest of the time frantically tidying the living room. Hubby is home, we make sure we am NOT NOT NOT at computer when he walks in)
quickcheckofboardsforcommentstoanyofmypostsalmostburningsupper
(feed family, back to boards)
decorating/Idolagain/spankingagain/CATFIGHTONTHEBOARDS!/ADHD/vaccinesagain/
(get dessert and bring back to computer)
hubbystory/gripesaboutsomething/spankingagainagain/modestdressing/longhairagain/
(tuck in kids, read catfight posts to hubby)
houseisneverclean/readmorecatfightposts
(catfight has taken majority of my interest. We do not realize thathubby has gone to bed--no romance tonight! We either will post and try to make peace in the catfight, or we will join sides in someway. Our chests will burn as we type, or we will get together on im with a buddy and we will "discuss" (read: gossip) about the fight. )
Finally I start getting ready for bed. I think about how my house is a mess, how I wasted another day. If I am honest, I will realize that I spent 14 hours ignoring home and family and the only useful nugget of information I got from it was how to get out underarm stains from white tee shirts. The next morning I am "too tired" to do work because I stayed up late reading posts, so I sit down to the computer wearily (ignoring the fact that I can also fold laundry sitting down, or plan menus or budget or clean out a drawer or...), in sweats and before I have brushed my hair, to "just check one more thing...."and the cycle begins again.
Blogs, forums, instant messaging, "research", "support groups", phone calls, Judge Judy....all things that we use to waste our time. We spend 8 hours looking for bonding, counseling, distraction, support, encouragement, and almost no time actually living our lives!
(special note for tv watchers: realize that the children can hear AND ABSORB what we watch!!).
Some of us are phone users, calling one person after another. Some of us are multitaskers and do phone AND computer AND tv.
The Lord is specific about women who go "from house to house" being busy bodies. However, technology has enabled us to be busybodies in the comfort of our own home!!!! We do not even have to brush our hair or our teeth, because no one actually sees you when you go to their blog or forum or site.
So for all of us who have either a little problem or a big problem with these things, I wanted to offer accountability lists for us to look down and see if we REALLY have time to be doing these things.
Now, I will tell you, for ME, my excuse was "but I am so lonely up here in Alaska with no one to talk to! These boards are the only interaction with adults I get!". And in a way that is ALMOST logical. However, if I was honest, it was not that I was actually alone, but that I wanted distraction. It is a LOT more fun to post on a forum or read a blog than to scrub a toilet or fold clothing. I did not need nearly as much "adult interaction" as I thought I did.
Then I went through my "but I am HELPING people! This is my MINSTRY" phase. Uhh....yeah only the Lord told us to be busy at home, to love our husbands and children and to be kind. NOT "let your house fall apart and ignore the kids, and not have a healthful meal for your family and rebuff your husbands advances in order to monitor a cat fight between two people who have never met OR to spend hours echoing other people.". We can give good advice, encourage each other, support each other. But we need to be more "laser" and less "shotgun"--we need to FOCUS our energy and time instead of just idling in front of the computer.
I mean, I know that many complaints I have read, and (and some that I have made) would actually be SOLVED if the person got up from the computer and prayed and read the Word and then cleaned/cooked/loved their children/loved their husbands. Weight would be lost with no cutting back on calorie. Houses would be clean. Kids would still throw tantrums sometimes, but at least they would know more about their mother than what the back of her head looks like! lolol There would be improvement in everything from achy joints to imperative snuggles with hubby.
But I, like many, get sucked in....
For example, I find that forums are HORRIBLE time wasters because I like to talk on them. When I stop posting so much, I have more time. There are homemaker blogs that really encourage me, but I cannot spend 14 hours being "encouraged" and only do one hour of work!!! LOLOLOL
If someone really wanted help, there are places for them to look, both in the Word and on the net. If we are honestly honest with ourselves, the forums are usually just a place to visit and get sympathy. They are "reality shows" of the computer and generally feed our selves, not our lives.
Does that mean we should NEVER be online or on the phone? NO! That just means that we have to be honest with ourselves. Computer/tv/phone is "dessert". :-)
So to that end, I have the list of questions on the sidebar. These are mainly for me, but feel free to use them if you like! I have NO reason why I could not have a totally clean house and GOOD supper on the table. I just get lazy!
Go to the Lord, not the board, should be our motto :-) He will bring us everything we need in just the right time. We have to make sure we do not overindulge, but are doing good work (like, actual WORK lol).
So there is the secret to a better love live, better child rearing, better figure, better health. Turn off the computer, get off the couch, hang up the phone, and treasure every moment with everyone in your house before they are grown up. Make your home, don't waste your life watching other people make theirs!! :-)
Have a very productive day my sisters!!
But wait! There's more! You will also find more money, more fulfillment! You will become more creative! You will learn secrets about you you never knew! You will get in touch with your inner child, your inner lover, your inner teacher! You will laugh more, love more, save more money than you ever thought possible! Your self esteem will improve, your looks will improve. Your hair will be bouncy and shiny, your floors sparkling clean. Even your dog will be more obedient!
How much would YOU pay for this secret of the ages? $100? $200? What if I told you that this secret can be YOURS for $19.95!!!"
(Picture my trembling fingers as I open the envelope that holds the secret to more wealth and a firmer backside. Sllowwwlllyy I read these words that will change my life forever.....
TURN OFF THE BLOOMIN' COMPUTER/TV/PHONE, WOMAN!!! YOU ARE WASTING YOUR LIFE!!!
xsighx
My beautiful, darling sisters in Christ!!!
You might notice that there is more stuff at the bottom of the blog (I can wait while you scroll :-) ). Let me tell you why...
I do not know about you, but I am NOT the best homemaker ever. Actually at all. I am pretty pitiful, tbh. My house is very sanitary, but it is not very neat at times. The bathrooms are clean and the bed made, but there is clean laundry folded, but not put away, the desk a bit of a mess, projects everywhere.
It is not because my arm is broke. It is not because I do not know how to do what I need to do. It is because of.....
THE COMPUTER!!!! (ok, well it is because of my lack of self discipline!).
So, I want to be open and honest about this. I am not a great homemaker, but I COULD be if I actually DID homemaking instead of "really important research" and "catch up really quick on the news".
There was a time when I was much worse than now. A couple of years ago I was involved in a woman's forum. I eventually became a moderator, and frankly the forum took almost all my time. I know that many women were in the same boat (as you could see who was online, and many of us just seemed to "always be there")
The problem is that we did not get our work done. We were complaining about being overweight, not having our house clean, kids disruptive, no time for things we enjoy, suffering relationship with our husbands, etc.
If I had to guess, many women who overindulge in the computer probably have a day that is very similar to this:
"I'll just check the boards a second because I am a mod and it is my responisibili...oh look! Susie posted a pic of her twins! Let me just write a quick note...I might as well check the other boards while I am here. Xsighx, another fight with whatshername. She is just trolling, let me set her straight. OH! I think everyone would be interested in the supper I made last night. And I am going to make a QUICK post/comment about.....
headcovering/homemaking/dresses/halloween/clothvsdisposable/thumbvspaci/aspergers...
(grab lunch to eat at the puter)
WAHMvsSAHMvsWOTHM/vaccines/lead/pants/alcohol/obama/mccain/Idol/Paris....
(grab snack, make sure the kids are not setting anything on fire)
whatsforsupper/budget/spanking/timeouts/cosleeping/CIO/Bibleversions/cuteshoes/Christmas...
(grab coffee, notice 9 yr old shaves now...have we been on that long?)
Easter/JW/Cath/Baptist/Bush/longhair/shorthair/doghair/laundry stains/investments....
(HUBBY IS GOING TO BE HOME IN TEN MINUTES! ACK! MAJOR flash of guilt. Still in our sweats, house a mess, never brushed hair. Spend exactly 30 seconds on hair, 4 minutes on hamburger helper, 30 seconds checking kids, 1 minutes sweeping all toiletries in bathroom in drawer, 1 minute making phone call we promised to make for hubby, and the rest of the time frantically tidying the living room. Hubby is home, we make sure we am NOT NOT NOT at computer when he walks in)
quickcheckofboardsforcommentstoanyofmypostsalmostburningsupper
(feed family, back to boards)
decorating/Idolagain/spankingagain/CATFIGHTONTHEBOARDS!/ADHD/vaccinesagain/
(get dessert and bring back to computer)
hubbystory/gripesaboutsomething/spankingagainagain/modestdressing/longhairagain/
(tuck in kids, read catfight posts to hubby)
houseisneverclean/readmorecatfightposts
(catfight has taken majority of my interest. We do not realize thathubby has gone to bed--no romance tonight! We either will post and try to make peace in the catfight, or we will join sides in someway. Our chests will burn as we type, or we will get together on im with a buddy and we will "discuss" (read: gossip) about the fight. )
Finally I start getting ready for bed. I think about how my house is a mess, how I wasted another day. If I am honest, I will realize that I spent 14 hours ignoring home and family and the only useful nugget of information I got from it was how to get out underarm stains from white tee shirts. The next morning I am "too tired" to do work because I stayed up late reading posts, so I sit down to the computer wearily (ignoring the fact that I can also fold laundry sitting down, or plan menus or budget or clean out a drawer or...), in sweats and before I have brushed my hair, to "just check one more thing...."and the cycle begins again.
Blogs, forums, instant messaging, "research", "support groups", phone calls, Judge Judy....all things that we use to waste our time. We spend 8 hours looking for bonding, counseling, distraction, support, encouragement, and almost no time actually living our lives!
(special note for tv watchers: realize that the children can hear AND ABSORB what we watch!!).
Some of us are phone users, calling one person after another. Some of us are multitaskers and do phone AND computer AND tv.
The Lord is specific about women who go "from house to house" being busy bodies. However, technology has enabled us to be busybodies in the comfort of our own home!!!! We do not even have to brush our hair or our teeth, because no one actually sees you when you go to their blog or forum or site.
So for all of us who have either a little problem or a big problem with these things, I wanted to offer accountability lists for us to look down and see if we REALLY have time to be doing these things.
Now, I will tell you, for ME, my excuse was "but I am so lonely up here in Alaska with no one to talk to! These boards are the only interaction with adults I get!". And in a way that is ALMOST logical. However, if I was honest, it was not that I was actually alone, but that I wanted distraction. It is a LOT more fun to post on a forum or read a blog than to scrub a toilet or fold clothing. I did not need nearly as much "adult interaction" as I thought I did.
Then I went through my "but I am HELPING people! This is my MINSTRY" phase. Uhh....yeah only the Lord told us to be busy at home, to love our husbands and children and to be kind. NOT "let your house fall apart and ignore the kids, and not have a healthful meal for your family and rebuff your husbands advances in order to monitor a cat fight between two people who have never met OR to spend hours echoing other people.". We can give good advice, encourage each other, support each other. But we need to be more "laser" and less "shotgun"--we need to FOCUS our energy and time instead of just idling in front of the computer.
I mean, I know that many complaints I have read, and (and some that I have made) would actually be SOLVED if the person got up from the computer and prayed and read the Word and then cleaned/cooked/loved their children/loved their husbands. Weight would be lost with no cutting back on calorie. Houses would be clean. Kids would still throw tantrums sometimes, but at least they would know more about their mother than what the back of her head looks like! lolol There would be improvement in everything from achy joints to imperative snuggles with hubby.
But I, like many, get sucked in....
For example, I find that forums are HORRIBLE time wasters because I like to talk on them. When I stop posting so much, I have more time. There are homemaker blogs that really encourage me, but I cannot spend 14 hours being "encouraged" and only do one hour of work!!! LOLOLOL
If someone really wanted help, there are places for them to look, both in the Word and on the net. If we are honestly honest with ourselves, the forums are usually just a place to visit and get sympathy. They are "reality shows" of the computer and generally feed our selves, not our lives.
Does that mean we should NEVER be online or on the phone? NO! That just means that we have to be honest with ourselves. Computer/tv/phone is "dessert". :-)
So to that end, I have the list of questions on the sidebar. These are mainly for me, but feel free to use them if you like! I have NO reason why I could not have a totally clean house and GOOD supper on the table. I just get lazy!
Go to the Lord, not the board, should be our motto :-) He will bring us everything we need in just the right time. We have to make sure we do not overindulge, but are doing good work (like, actual WORK lol).
So there is the secret to a better love live, better child rearing, better figure, better health. Turn off the computer, get off the couch, hang up the phone, and treasure every moment with everyone in your house before they are grown up. Make your home, don't waste your life watching other people make theirs!! :-)
Have a very productive day my sisters!!
Reverse calorie counting and other tips...
My beautiful sisters!
Because I cannot sign my name in less than three pages (chuckle), the last post got too long. So this is sort of a "part two" of the last post. I want to talk about how we can "detoxify" ourselves, purge society from controlling our thoughts, and learn to think properly about weight and food.
Now, a couple of tips!
1) Focus on the Lord! If you are overweight, ask His guidance to make you healthy--that might not mean you lose an ounce! It might just mean that you need to make your arms strong for your tasks as the Proverbs 31 woman. It might mean that you are eating the wrong foods or not getting enough sleep.
Draw closer to Him until His peace descends on you. Lay everything, every sin, every pride, every fear, every sorrow, ever resentment, every happiness, every thing at His feet. Give everything to Him, and allow Him to fill you with His Spirit. TRUST HIM with the things mean the most to you--that means no more fretting, but trusting His Wisdom and Power.
2) Be conscious of your eating. Are you REALLY hungry? If so then eat! Are you just "munchy"? Then stop eating and try drinking water, coffee, tea, milk (even chocolate!), juice. NOT cokes and nothing with chemicals. If you drink something and at the end of the glass are still hungry, then eat.
3) Learn to identify that "denial craving" vs real hunger. My personal bad times are at supper--I WANT more for supper. But the thing is that I am not actually hungry, I just REALLY REALLY REALLY crave an extra slice of garlic cheese bread or another helping of noodles. (Amazingly enough, I never crave an extra helping of vegetables lolol.)
Anyway, that craving will get so intense that I am irritable that I am not having what I want. THAT is not hunger, that is the flesh--I want what I want when I want it!!!! THAT needs to be denied, whether it is a nap, an extra biscuit, to let a cuss word slip, whatever. Everytime you feel that pressure in your chest (maybe to post something on a board), or that desperation to get a nap, that irritation at being denied or interrupted, THAT is the flesh. Do NOT give into that feeling!!!
**Point of note--each time you deny your flesh in one area, it can help you learn to deny it in others. Be diligent about recognizing the feelings you have, whether they are godly or not, and take every ungodly impulse and deny it.
So how do you deny it? Well, in the case of me and an extra helping, I just tell myself "Put your plate in the dishwasher, go do something else. If you still want it in, say, 20 minutes, then go have it.". I almost NEVER want it in 20 minutes--it was not hunger, it was craving. It was my flesh, not my tummy. (truth in advertizing here--I am REALLY not all that good at it. I know what it is, but give into it WAAYY too much. lolol).
Now, as the dishwasher in the family, that allows me the opportunity to eat that last bit of pasta, that last onion ring, that last scoop of rice, that last bit of meat. I am putting the food away in the fridge, it is easy for me to say "Well, I will leave a little bit and pop that in my mouth while putting the pot away.". Fight this! This is not food you need, it is food you want. When I am good, I recognize this and scrape as quickly as I can because if I leave it, I WILL eat it!!!!
4) GET ENOUGH SLEEP. When you do not get enough sleep, your body will crave calories (It has to get energy from somewhere!). Get good rest, wake up at the SAME TIME every day, even on the weekends (sleeping in on the weekends messes with your circadian rhythm). Now, you might be tired, so go take a nap LATER in the day (not too long, 30 minutes is supposed to be pretty good) and then make sure that you go to sleep earlier so that you can maintain the same wake time. If you are sick, of course, sleep more, your body needs to heal.
5) Eliminate junk from your diet. No, I am not talking about eating only fruit juice sweetend, whole grain cookies with carob chips! I am talking about FALSE FOOD--food that is not real, food that is more chemical than food.
-Find meat that is not filled with hormones or antibiotics.
-Get produce locally, not shipped from Ecuador. Stock up on produce in season and freeze it or dry it or can it OR just eat the produce that grows in your area duing the season.
STAY AWAY FROM artificial sweeteners unless you have a medical condition that REQUIRES it.
-Stay WHOLLY away from high fructose corn syrup--it is poison, IMO. We even make our own pancake syrup--SUPER easy and cooks while you are there cooking the pancakes anyway, so it is not really much of an extra step. AND it does not have HFCS.
-Stay away from partially hydrogenated oils--it is better to eat butter than to eat chemicals, again, IMO.
6)Make your arms strong for your tasks, as per Proverbs 31, by DOING THINGS. How long have you sat at the computer today? (I am not calling the kettle black, I have been posting all morning!). TURN OFF THE COMPUTER (well, finish this post THEN turn it off ! hee hee!). Get up and get moving. If you are on the phone, empty the dishwasher. Get off the phone and take the kids outside. If your house is a mess, the computer and tv should be off. If your house is clean.....you are a better woman than I am! lolol.
Seriously, whether you are thin or regular or overweight, get off the computer and away from the tv and do something. Unless we are actually disabled or sick, we all should be able to keep a VERY NEAT house.
You know, this is something that I struggle with too....maybe we should have a special post about accountability and see if we can get some serious homemaking going here! :-)
(Why wait? Let's ask ourselves right now
1)How much time (honestly) have I spent on the computer today?
2)Is my house neat and supper planned?
3)Have I spent time with my Lord? How much time?
4)Have I spent time with my children? How much time?
5)Have I spent time with my husband, or do I have plans to do so? How much time?
6)What work have I done today?
7)What are three tasks I can be doing right now?
TURN OFF THE COMPUTER AND DO THEM!!!! :-) )
7) Create special moments and routines. For example, instead of having dessert, have an after dinner coffee. Instead of grabbing a bowl of chips, have a cup of tea and a piece of bread with butter or jelly. While we do not want to overemphasize eating, making a blessed little "moment" with our children, husband, or Lord is wonderful.
8)Put society on mute. Rely on the Lord and your husband for good feedback, not society.
9)Reverse calorie counting. This is something I really enjoy because it rewards self control immediately, not makes you feel guilty or deprived:
Instead of counting up what calories you are eating, count up the ones you REFUSE. If you normally have, say, 2 tsp of sugar in your coffee every morning, then one morning do not have those and put 30 cals on your list of "refused calories". That is 30 cals you did not need! For me, it makes me feel more in control because *I* am doing the decision making, and *I* get to see, on paper, what the results were.
For example, last night I really was going to have a bowl of ice cream. But I waited until the craving past (NEVER EVER eat "denial cravings", even if you can. Allow that to pass--usually takes about 20 minutes--THEN you can eat. You master your flesh, do not let your flesh master you.). So 1 cup (probably more, but lets pretend I only eat one cup of ice cream at a sitting lolol) of this ice cream plus chocolate sauce was approx 400 cals. If I avoid ice cream that I would have eaten every day for a week, that is 2800 cals!!!
I did NOT refuse to eat extra garlic cheese bread and ice cream and coke the other night that we had for girls night. If I had, I would have saved myself about 1200 cals...just from one night!
At the end of the week, you might find that you avoided a whole pound of extra weight! Maybe more! You can see on paper the results of your diligence, and then at the end of the week, you can see how much worse off you would have been (AND you would have seen that you did not die or suffer because you did not have extra food!).
Now, there are a couple of rules to this deal for it to work. First of all, you have to have habits to your eating. You have to know what you normally would eat. If your eating is all over the map (no food one day, 5000 calories another) then this will not work.
1) It has to be something that you really were going to eat. You cannot go through your pantry and say "Wow, there are 15,000 calories in this sack of flour that I am not eating!" lolol.
2) You have to make sure you do get enough calories to keep you healthy. Do not use this to go below the 1500-2000 calories that a healthy woman needs. This is not a race to the finish, this is a lifestyle change.
3) DO NOT count the calories if you use a chemical to replace it!!!! Putting aspartame in your coffee instead of sugar does not allow you to count the sugar. Why? Because even though you are not consuming calories, you are replacing them with things that are not actual food, but rather chemicals.
4) Do not count things that you do already. If you already eat ice cream with no whipped cream, do not count whipped cream that you really could have. This is about what you normally eat OR what you are honestly about to eat.
5) Do not count calories that you replace with other calories. You cannot say "I did not have this 300 cal piece of pizza" and then eat a 300 calorie plate of nachos.
6) You CAN count the difference between choices. For example, if you did not eat that 300 calorie piece of pizza, but you did eat the 60 calorie bowl of fruit, you can credit yourself 240 calories.
You can also use this in reverse if you need to gain weight to be healthy--a reverse reverse calorie counting! Instead of what you do not eat, of course, you write down what you would have avoided, but didn't. You can use this for everything from exercising to to do lists (for example, I write down what I DID do in a day. That helps me be productive).
I am not saying that this reverse calorie counting is a whole way of controlling yourself, it is one tool to use to take some of the negative emotion out of eating sensibly.
Ok ladies, let's get healthy!!! :-)
Because I cannot sign my name in less than three pages (chuckle), the last post got too long. So this is sort of a "part two" of the last post. I want to talk about how we can "detoxify" ourselves, purge society from controlling our thoughts, and learn to think properly about weight and food.
Now, a couple of tips!
1) Focus on the Lord! If you are overweight, ask His guidance to make you healthy--that might not mean you lose an ounce! It might just mean that you need to make your arms strong for your tasks as the Proverbs 31 woman. It might mean that you are eating the wrong foods or not getting enough sleep.
Draw closer to Him until His peace descends on you. Lay everything, every sin, every pride, every fear, every sorrow, ever resentment, every happiness, every thing at His feet. Give everything to Him, and allow Him to fill you with His Spirit. TRUST HIM with the things mean the most to you--that means no more fretting, but trusting His Wisdom and Power.
2) Be conscious of your eating. Are you REALLY hungry? If so then eat! Are you just "munchy"? Then stop eating and try drinking water, coffee, tea, milk (even chocolate!), juice. NOT cokes and nothing with chemicals. If you drink something and at the end of the glass are still hungry, then eat.
3) Learn to identify that "denial craving" vs real hunger. My personal bad times are at supper--I WANT more for supper. But the thing is that I am not actually hungry, I just REALLY REALLY REALLY crave an extra slice of garlic cheese bread or another helping of noodles. (Amazingly enough, I never crave an extra helping of vegetables lolol.)
Anyway, that craving will get so intense that I am irritable that I am not having what I want. THAT is not hunger, that is the flesh--I want what I want when I want it!!!! THAT needs to be denied, whether it is a nap, an extra biscuit, to let a cuss word slip, whatever. Everytime you feel that pressure in your chest (maybe to post something on a board), or that desperation to get a nap, that irritation at being denied or interrupted, THAT is the flesh. Do NOT give into that feeling!!!
**Point of note--each time you deny your flesh in one area, it can help you learn to deny it in others. Be diligent about recognizing the feelings you have, whether they are godly or not, and take every ungodly impulse and deny it.
So how do you deny it? Well, in the case of me and an extra helping, I just tell myself "Put your plate in the dishwasher, go do something else. If you still want it in, say, 20 minutes, then go have it.". I almost NEVER want it in 20 minutes--it was not hunger, it was craving. It was my flesh, not my tummy. (truth in advertizing here--I am REALLY not all that good at it. I know what it is, but give into it WAAYY too much. lolol).
Now, as the dishwasher in the family, that allows me the opportunity to eat that last bit of pasta, that last onion ring, that last scoop of rice, that last bit of meat. I am putting the food away in the fridge, it is easy for me to say "Well, I will leave a little bit and pop that in my mouth while putting the pot away.". Fight this! This is not food you need, it is food you want. When I am good, I recognize this and scrape as quickly as I can because if I leave it, I WILL eat it!!!!
4) GET ENOUGH SLEEP. When you do not get enough sleep, your body will crave calories (It has to get energy from somewhere!). Get good rest, wake up at the SAME TIME every day, even on the weekends (sleeping in on the weekends messes with your circadian rhythm). Now, you might be tired, so go take a nap LATER in the day (not too long, 30 minutes is supposed to be pretty good) and then make sure that you go to sleep earlier so that you can maintain the same wake time. If you are sick, of course, sleep more, your body needs to heal.
5) Eliminate junk from your diet. No, I am not talking about eating only fruit juice sweetend, whole grain cookies with carob chips! I am talking about FALSE FOOD--food that is not real, food that is more chemical than food.
-Find meat that is not filled with hormones or antibiotics.
-Get produce locally, not shipped from Ecuador. Stock up on produce in season and freeze it or dry it or can it OR just eat the produce that grows in your area duing the season.
STAY AWAY FROM artificial sweeteners unless you have a medical condition that REQUIRES it.
-Stay WHOLLY away from high fructose corn syrup--it is poison, IMO. We even make our own pancake syrup--SUPER easy and cooks while you are there cooking the pancakes anyway, so it is not really much of an extra step. AND it does not have HFCS.
-Stay away from partially hydrogenated oils--it is better to eat butter than to eat chemicals, again, IMO.
6)Make your arms strong for your tasks, as per Proverbs 31, by DOING THINGS. How long have you sat at the computer today? (I am not calling the kettle black, I have been posting all morning!). TURN OFF THE COMPUTER (well, finish this post THEN turn it off ! hee hee!). Get up and get moving. If you are on the phone, empty the dishwasher. Get off the phone and take the kids outside. If your house is a mess, the computer and tv should be off. If your house is clean.....you are a better woman than I am! lolol.
Seriously, whether you are thin or regular or overweight, get off the computer and away from the tv and do something. Unless we are actually disabled or sick, we all should be able to keep a VERY NEAT house.
You know, this is something that I struggle with too....maybe we should have a special post about accountability and see if we can get some serious homemaking going here! :-)
(Why wait? Let's ask ourselves right now
1)How much time (honestly) have I spent on the computer today?
2)Is my house neat and supper planned?
3)Have I spent time with my Lord? How much time?
4)Have I spent time with my children? How much time?
5)Have I spent time with my husband, or do I have plans to do so? How much time?
6)What work have I done today?
7)What are three tasks I can be doing right now?
TURN OFF THE COMPUTER AND DO THEM!!!! :-) )
7) Create special moments and routines. For example, instead of having dessert, have an after dinner coffee. Instead of grabbing a bowl of chips, have a cup of tea and a piece of bread with butter or jelly. While we do not want to overemphasize eating, making a blessed little "moment" with our children, husband, or Lord is wonderful.
8)Put society on mute. Rely on the Lord and your husband for good feedback, not society.
9)Reverse calorie counting. This is something I really enjoy because it rewards self control immediately, not makes you feel guilty or deprived:
Instead of counting up what calories you are eating, count up the ones you REFUSE. If you normally have, say, 2 tsp of sugar in your coffee every morning, then one morning do not have those and put 30 cals on your list of "refused calories". That is 30 cals you did not need! For me, it makes me feel more in control because *I* am doing the decision making, and *I* get to see, on paper, what the results were.
For example, last night I really was going to have a bowl of ice cream. But I waited until the craving past (NEVER EVER eat "denial cravings", even if you can. Allow that to pass--usually takes about 20 minutes--THEN you can eat. You master your flesh, do not let your flesh master you.). So 1 cup (probably more, but lets pretend I only eat one cup of ice cream at a sitting lolol) of this ice cream plus chocolate sauce was approx 400 cals. If I avoid ice cream that I would have eaten every day for a week, that is 2800 cals!!!
I did NOT refuse to eat extra garlic cheese bread and ice cream and coke the other night that we had for girls night. If I had, I would have saved myself about 1200 cals...just from one night!
At the end of the week, you might find that you avoided a whole pound of extra weight! Maybe more! You can see on paper the results of your diligence, and then at the end of the week, you can see how much worse off you would have been (AND you would have seen that you did not die or suffer because you did not have extra food!).
Now, there are a couple of rules to this deal for it to work. First of all, you have to have habits to your eating. You have to know what you normally would eat. If your eating is all over the map (no food one day, 5000 calories another) then this will not work.
1) It has to be something that you really were going to eat. You cannot go through your pantry and say "Wow, there are 15,000 calories in this sack of flour that I am not eating!" lolol.
2) You have to make sure you do get enough calories to keep you healthy. Do not use this to go below the 1500-2000 calories that a healthy woman needs. This is not a race to the finish, this is a lifestyle change.
3) DO NOT count the calories if you use a chemical to replace it!!!! Putting aspartame in your coffee instead of sugar does not allow you to count the sugar. Why? Because even though you are not consuming calories, you are replacing them with things that are not actual food, but rather chemicals.
4) Do not count things that you do already. If you already eat ice cream with no whipped cream, do not count whipped cream that you really could have. This is about what you normally eat OR what you are honestly about to eat.
5) Do not count calories that you replace with other calories. You cannot say "I did not have this 300 cal piece of pizza" and then eat a 300 calorie plate of nachos.
6) You CAN count the difference between choices. For example, if you did not eat that 300 calorie piece of pizza, but you did eat the 60 calorie bowl of fruit, you can credit yourself 240 calories.
You can also use this in reverse if you need to gain weight to be healthy--a reverse reverse calorie counting! Instead of what you do not eat, of course, you write down what you would have avoided, but didn't. You can use this for everything from exercising to to do lists (for example, I write down what I DID do in a day. That helps me be productive).
I am not saying that this reverse calorie counting is a whole way of controlling yourself, it is one tool to use to take some of the negative emotion out of eating sensibly.
Ok ladies, let's get healthy!!! :-)
Weight and Beauty
Beautiful Sisters!!
I have been thinking about weight and food lately. I think that we are obsessed with weight in ways that are not healthy. We have put emotions into food, so that we are not eating correctly. Not only that, but our society equals weight with worth--if you weigh too much, you are worth less, if you weigh too little, you are worth more. We have lost balance and focus. We are either obese or anorexic or just stress constantly over every flaw.
Ironically, I think it is the focus on too little weight that has caused a great deal of weight gain in our society (well, that and foods that have chemicals). We look at a model in a magazine and see how "pretty" and thin she is (mind you, most men do not like that look....the models are for women, but most men prefer a little meat on the bones), and then we feel badly about ourselves. So then we either decide on a severe diet OR we feel badly and go eat ice cream. In either case we are choosing our food out of emotion NOT out of hunger or lack thereof.
I saw a magazine cover in the rack at the store that had a picture of an actress. The article was, if I remember correctly, 10 beautiful bodies. I had two thoughts when seeing that girl in a bikini on the cover: a)Her ribs poked out and her arms were so thin that if I saw her on the beach, I would think she had cancer or some sort of other wasting disease. She looked wasted away, not fit.
b)What little bit of flesh she had was on her tummy. It was a tiny little pooch, but honestly, her tummy was the healthiest looking part of her!
I found it odd that what the magazine was calling a beautiful body was, honestly, very similar to what I have seen in cancer patients. She was no fatter than those pictures circulating around about Barry Manilow. Him, they are saying is sick, her, they are calling beautiful.
Ridiculous.
I have also seen the reverse of this--seriously overweight women. This is not healthy nor good. Where I live, most women I see are overweight and some are obese. Most of them look very uncomfortable, and I cannot imagine how painful their knees and feet get. I wonder if they realize that they have beauty, or if they spend their days obsessing over their food, their weight, denying their husbands because they do not feel pretty or desireable.
Both cases are, in my honest opinion, in need of fixing. Here are some ideas:
1) We need to start putting God in His rightful position--He is our comforter, not a quart of mint chocolate chip. When we are angry, we need to come to Him, not to our cookie jar. Bad days, stressful days, sorrowful days, boredom mean we need something OTHER than food.
When we focus on Him, I mean REALLY focus on Him, we get clear vision. If you have not experienced this, let me urge you to make this a priority. When I focus on the Lord, burdens are weightless, stresses are eased, peace flows through me, my insecurities are GONE.
Now, the problem is that it is easy to STOP focusing on Him. I mean, in the space of a minute, we can start living in our heads again, instead of keeping our eyes on Him. So we have to keep our focus on Him. If we do not have peace, if we do have anxiety, if we are fretting, then we are not focusing on Him. He is our comforter, our ever present help.
2) We need to start putting food in its rightful position--it is our sustenance. Eat to live, eat out of joy in celebration, use food as a hospitality and service to those who are hurting and in need (we southern women know that banana pudding is required at every celebration or tragedy), but also know when it is best to push the plate away.
3) We need to start putting society in its rightful position--behind us. We are IN this world, not OF it. Beauty in society changes like the wind. Sometimes the voluptuous is in, sometimes the boney look is in. Society is fickle and ridiculous. Do yourself a favor and STOP looking at any magazines, shows, catalogues that show tiny little women if you are struggling with your weight. Believe the Lord when He told us where beauty REALLY lies--in a quiet and gentle spirit.
(I don't know about you, but when I am fretting about my weight, the LAST thing I am is quiet and gentle. I focus on ME and MY wants, not on my family and what they need. I am either grouchy or morose, my day is dictated by my scale, not by my Lord. I am in error).
4) We need to start putting our daughters in their rightful positions. We need to start praising their kindness, their gentleness, their motherly qualities, their sisters-in-Christ qualities. We need to bring them home, take them under our wing, RAISE THEM, not just babysit them. My friend has decided to homeschool for several reasons, but I believe the straw that broke the camel's back was when her B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L daughter (physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionaly) took the comments of a "friend" to heart and decided she was too heavy. Now let me tell you, that child was NOT too heavy--in fact, she was lithe and althetic. But you know how girls are. So she believed a lie instead of the truth. If we, as 20,30,40 something women raising daughters cannot distinguish between truth and lie, how can we possibly expect a child (with no age, wisdom or perspective) to distinguish between the two? One careless comment can live in a child forever. Bring them home, teach them the truth.
5) We need to start putting our husbands in their rightful positions as our mates. I hope this is not too forward for a Christian woman's blog, but our husbands are our MATES. What do mates do? They...um...mate!!
I have gone through times where I did not FEEL beautiful, did not feel attractive or "mate worthy". Amazingly enough, RTWS did not seem to care that I needed to lose weight, was not super toned. Honey, if your husband wants you, it is because he WANTS Y-O-U. He wants intimacies with YOU. YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU! That is because YOU turn him on! The Lord created men like that. The Lord did not create men to only desire the youngest hot thing on the screen. Nope. Your husband is not "settling" for you--give him more credit than that!!!
I was talking with SHAW yesterday. Her darling husband is out of town on business She remarked how she did not feel very attractive lately. Now, I know her husband, he is one of the kindest men and he loves her dearly. I realized that part of her problem is that she is not getting that constant positive regard from him. He is not there to tell her she is beautiful or to desire her. So she is missing that. Women, if you want to feel beautiful, start making love to your husband.
Ladies, stop obsessing about your weight in the boudoir. If he wants you, it is because you are want-able!!! He is not settling, he is not resigning. He WANTS you. Give yourself over to him freely and see yourself through HIS eye, not Vogue's eyes. Trust him when he says you are sexy, beautiful. Be enthusiastic and willing and adorable for him. Buy something sexy and put it on his pillow for you to wear for him later. Flirting with your husband, being coy and adorable and desiring your husband, making him the star of the show, being willing and confident erases wrinkle and pound. Lure him to your private garden. Read Song of Solomon (sometimes called Song of Songs in some Bibles), and understand that the Lord created intimacy on purpose for bonding and loving. He could have had us procreate like salmon or mushrooms, but He created us to ENJOY each other. So do it!
Denying him is unfair (just because YOU do not like your body, why make him suffer? He has no control over how much you exercise, how much you eat, how much you watch models, how much you overthink things, so why should he be denied from something he wants because of things in your head?)
Denying him is dangerous (you keep talking yourself down, that turns him off, refusing him turns him off), and hurtful to him (being refused without a REALLY good reason, like a fever or throwing up, undermines his self esteem. You say it is because you do not like the way you look....but HE thinks you look fine. So his reality is NOT your reality. Being denied physically is a sure way to cut a man down, to make him feel inferior, to make him go looking for someone who wants him. You do not have to find YOU sexy in order to be sexy to him, YOU are not making love to YOU! You are making love to him.).
It is also unbiblical to deny each other, except for a time so you both can PRAY! The Word is SPECIFIC about not denying our husbands. The Lord knows exactly what we need. He created sex, He expects us to use it in the context of marriage! So, yes, it is unbiblical to refuse your husband!
I will clue you in on a secret that I have heard men say: they care a lot more about being desired, esteemed, respected than about looks in a woman. The most beautiful woman who is cold or self centered or derogatory is not nearly as SEXY as a plain woman who is confident, loves her husband and desires him. You will be more sexy to him by giving him one compliment than you will be by losing weight.
Ok, one last comment, and I will stop harping on this: when you indulge him, you will feel more beautiful. You will feel powerful and sexy and strong. Whenever you feel low or with low self esteem, go to your husband and let him adore your body. Let him show you how wonderful you are to him.
6) We need to start putting our bodies in their rightful positions--COVERED! Now, this is going to be impossible for society, I am sure, but it would be wonderful if women stopped running around half naked. I believe that when we can see EVERY SINGLE INCH of skin, save three triangles, we get an unrealistic view of what a woman should look like--THEY do not even look like that, they are airbrushed and washed through a computer.
At the Dove website, they have a video of a woman who was made up, then her picture changed through a computer to be completely different than who she is. You can see it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U
In fact there are several youtube videos where people have taken photos and photoshopped them until the women are 50 lbs thinner, 10 years younger, have a completely different smile, bone structure, coloring. THIS is what we think is beautiful--computer generated images. Watch some of these, then understand that your feelings of beauty and worth are being shaped by lies and deception. (warning, some of the comments are filled with horrible language on some of these videos, and some of the videos are inappropriate. The dove one is great and there are a few others, but be careful!)
Yes, we can stop looking at other women's bodies. They might flash it, but we can ignore it. We can train our daughters and sons to ignore it too--they will be tempted to either desire it or compare, but we can lay the foundation of where real beauty is found and diminish some of the arrows of the devil.
I have to tell a funny story here regarding that very thing. We have taught our children that our bodies are personal, to be covered, to be modest, to be shared with no one but our spouses. When there are commercials or shows with immodest women or men, we change the channel (are you listening networks? we CHANGE THE CHANNEL!).
Anyway, we told the children that it is "tacky" for a woman to display her body in public.
One time we were watching football, I believe, and I left the room. My son was....6 or 7 at the time and my daughter was 9 or 10. Anyway, I did not see that a very tacky commercial came on the tv, I just heard my son say "Cover your eyes peekie, its tacky!". I go to the living room and see my daughter hiding her face and saying "Is it over yet?", and my son staring at the tv saying "No, not yet" while looking at this scantily dressed woman!
I have to appreciate him protecting his sister, but needed to review that he should close his eyes as well! lololol
It is terribly ill bred to show off ones breasts and buttocks or to attempt to entice every man on the street, not to mention it is robbing our husbands of their private garden, by allowing other men to peek over the fence! I fully and shamefully admit that there have been times in my life where I wanted to be found attracting (not attractIVE as in well groomed and presentable, but attracTING--I wanted to be desired) to men--I wanted men to want me! I thought that is where I would get validation, would feel pretty. I would not allow men to have me, but I wanted them to want me. Oh what HORRIBLE vanity and pride and sin I was allowing to reign in my life!!!!!! :-(
I believe this is a greater spiritual battle than we give it credit. When we focus on our bodies, when we do not master the effects of hormones, stress, media images, food cravings, desires, insecurity, etc then we are probably either going to be severely over weight or severely underweight. Even if we manage to maintain a healthy weight, we will be without joy because we cannot get joy focusing on ourselves, no matter what the reason or cause. Joy does not come by focusing on anything but the Lord.
Oh sisters this is getting REALLY LONG. I have so much more to say! So I think I will leave this for now. If there are any discussions, any questions, any refutations, feel free to leave them. Start TODAY to look to the Lord. TODAY make yourself presentable and then present yourself to your husband! Ask the Lord to help you see yourself through His eyes, and to develop those truly beautiful traits in you.
I have been thinking about weight and food lately. I think that we are obsessed with weight in ways that are not healthy. We have put emotions into food, so that we are not eating correctly. Not only that, but our society equals weight with worth--if you weigh too much, you are worth less, if you weigh too little, you are worth more. We have lost balance and focus. We are either obese or anorexic or just stress constantly over every flaw.
Ironically, I think it is the focus on too little weight that has caused a great deal of weight gain in our society (well, that and foods that have chemicals). We look at a model in a magazine and see how "pretty" and thin she is (mind you, most men do not like that look....the models are for women, but most men prefer a little meat on the bones), and then we feel badly about ourselves. So then we either decide on a severe diet OR we feel badly and go eat ice cream. In either case we are choosing our food out of emotion NOT out of hunger or lack thereof.
I saw a magazine cover in the rack at the store that had a picture of an actress. The article was, if I remember correctly, 10 beautiful bodies. I had two thoughts when seeing that girl in a bikini on the cover: a)Her ribs poked out and her arms were so thin that if I saw her on the beach, I would think she had cancer or some sort of other wasting disease. She looked wasted away, not fit.
b)What little bit of flesh she had was on her tummy. It was a tiny little pooch, but honestly, her tummy was the healthiest looking part of her!
I found it odd that what the magazine was calling a beautiful body was, honestly, very similar to what I have seen in cancer patients. She was no fatter than those pictures circulating around about Barry Manilow. Him, they are saying is sick, her, they are calling beautiful.
Ridiculous.
I have also seen the reverse of this--seriously overweight women. This is not healthy nor good. Where I live, most women I see are overweight and some are obese. Most of them look very uncomfortable, and I cannot imagine how painful their knees and feet get. I wonder if they realize that they have beauty, or if they spend their days obsessing over their food, their weight, denying their husbands because they do not feel pretty or desireable.
Both cases are, in my honest opinion, in need of fixing. Here are some ideas:
1) We need to start putting God in His rightful position--He is our comforter, not a quart of mint chocolate chip. When we are angry, we need to come to Him, not to our cookie jar. Bad days, stressful days, sorrowful days, boredom mean we need something OTHER than food.
When we focus on Him, I mean REALLY focus on Him, we get clear vision. If you have not experienced this, let me urge you to make this a priority. When I focus on the Lord, burdens are weightless, stresses are eased, peace flows through me, my insecurities are GONE.
Now, the problem is that it is easy to STOP focusing on Him. I mean, in the space of a minute, we can start living in our heads again, instead of keeping our eyes on Him. So we have to keep our focus on Him. If we do not have peace, if we do have anxiety, if we are fretting, then we are not focusing on Him. He is our comforter, our ever present help.
2) We need to start putting food in its rightful position--it is our sustenance. Eat to live, eat out of joy in celebration, use food as a hospitality and service to those who are hurting and in need (we southern women know that banana pudding is required at every celebration or tragedy), but also know when it is best to push the plate away.
3) We need to start putting society in its rightful position--behind us. We are IN this world, not OF it. Beauty in society changes like the wind. Sometimes the voluptuous is in, sometimes the boney look is in. Society is fickle and ridiculous. Do yourself a favor and STOP looking at any magazines, shows, catalogues that show tiny little women if you are struggling with your weight. Believe the Lord when He told us where beauty REALLY lies--in a quiet and gentle spirit.
(I don't know about you, but when I am fretting about my weight, the LAST thing I am is quiet and gentle. I focus on ME and MY wants, not on my family and what they need. I am either grouchy or morose, my day is dictated by my scale, not by my Lord. I am in error).
4) We need to start putting our daughters in their rightful positions. We need to start praising their kindness, their gentleness, their motherly qualities, their sisters-in-Christ qualities. We need to bring them home, take them under our wing, RAISE THEM, not just babysit them. My friend has decided to homeschool for several reasons, but I believe the straw that broke the camel's back was when her B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L daughter (physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionaly) took the comments of a "friend" to heart and decided she was too heavy. Now let me tell you, that child was NOT too heavy--in fact, she was lithe and althetic. But you know how girls are. So she believed a lie instead of the truth. If we, as 20,30,40 something women raising daughters cannot distinguish between truth and lie, how can we possibly expect a child (with no age, wisdom or perspective) to distinguish between the two? One careless comment can live in a child forever. Bring them home, teach them the truth.
5) We need to start putting our husbands in their rightful positions as our mates. I hope this is not too forward for a Christian woman's blog, but our husbands are our MATES. What do mates do? They...um...mate!!
I have gone through times where I did not FEEL beautiful, did not feel attractive or "mate worthy". Amazingly enough, RTWS did not seem to care that I needed to lose weight, was not super toned. Honey, if your husband wants you, it is because he WANTS Y-O-U. He wants intimacies with YOU. YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU! That is because YOU turn him on! The Lord created men like that. The Lord did not create men to only desire the youngest hot thing on the screen. Nope. Your husband is not "settling" for you--give him more credit than that!!!
I was talking with SHAW yesterday. Her darling husband is out of town on business She remarked how she did not feel very attractive lately. Now, I know her husband, he is one of the kindest men and he loves her dearly. I realized that part of her problem is that she is not getting that constant positive regard from him. He is not there to tell her she is beautiful or to desire her. So she is missing that. Women, if you want to feel beautiful, start making love to your husband.
Ladies, stop obsessing about your weight in the boudoir. If he wants you, it is because you are want-able!!! He is not settling, he is not resigning. He WANTS you. Give yourself over to him freely and see yourself through HIS eye, not Vogue's eyes. Trust him when he says you are sexy, beautiful. Be enthusiastic and willing and adorable for him. Buy something sexy and put it on his pillow for you to wear for him later. Flirting with your husband, being coy and adorable and desiring your husband, making him the star of the show, being willing and confident erases wrinkle and pound. Lure him to your private garden. Read Song of Solomon (sometimes called Song of Songs in some Bibles), and understand that the Lord created intimacy on purpose for bonding and loving. He could have had us procreate like salmon or mushrooms, but He created us to ENJOY each other. So do it!
Denying him is unfair (just because YOU do not like your body, why make him suffer? He has no control over how much you exercise, how much you eat, how much you watch models, how much you overthink things, so why should he be denied from something he wants because of things in your head?)
Denying him is dangerous (you keep talking yourself down, that turns him off, refusing him turns him off), and hurtful to him (being refused without a REALLY good reason, like a fever or throwing up, undermines his self esteem. You say it is because you do not like the way you look....but HE thinks you look fine. So his reality is NOT your reality. Being denied physically is a sure way to cut a man down, to make him feel inferior, to make him go looking for someone who wants him. You do not have to find YOU sexy in order to be sexy to him, YOU are not making love to YOU! You are making love to him.).
It is also unbiblical to deny each other, except for a time so you both can PRAY! The Word is SPECIFIC about not denying our husbands. The Lord knows exactly what we need. He created sex, He expects us to use it in the context of marriage! So, yes, it is unbiblical to refuse your husband!
I will clue you in on a secret that I have heard men say: they care a lot more about being desired, esteemed, respected than about looks in a woman. The most beautiful woman who is cold or self centered or derogatory is not nearly as SEXY as a plain woman who is confident, loves her husband and desires him. You will be more sexy to him by giving him one compliment than you will be by losing weight.
Ok, one last comment, and I will stop harping on this: when you indulge him, you will feel more beautiful. You will feel powerful and sexy and strong. Whenever you feel low or with low self esteem, go to your husband and let him adore your body. Let him show you how wonderful you are to him.
6) We need to start putting our bodies in their rightful positions--COVERED! Now, this is going to be impossible for society, I am sure, but it would be wonderful if women stopped running around half naked. I believe that when we can see EVERY SINGLE INCH of skin, save three triangles, we get an unrealistic view of what a woman should look like--THEY do not even look like that, they are airbrushed and washed through a computer.
At the Dove website, they have a video of a woman who was made up, then her picture changed through a computer to be completely different than who she is. You can see it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U
In fact there are several youtube videos where people have taken photos and photoshopped them until the women are 50 lbs thinner, 10 years younger, have a completely different smile, bone structure, coloring. THIS is what we think is beautiful--computer generated images. Watch some of these, then understand that your feelings of beauty and worth are being shaped by lies and deception. (warning, some of the comments are filled with horrible language on some of these videos, and some of the videos are inappropriate. The dove one is great and there are a few others, but be careful!)
Yes, we can stop looking at other women's bodies. They might flash it, but we can ignore it. We can train our daughters and sons to ignore it too--they will be tempted to either desire it or compare, but we can lay the foundation of where real beauty is found and diminish some of the arrows of the devil.
I have to tell a funny story here regarding that very thing. We have taught our children that our bodies are personal, to be covered, to be modest, to be shared with no one but our spouses. When there are commercials or shows with immodest women or men, we change the channel (are you listening networks? we CHANGE THE CHANNEL!).
Anyway, we told the children that it is "tacky" for a woman to display her body in public.
One time we were watching football, I believe, and I left the room. My son was....6 or 7 at the time and my daughter was 9 or 10. Anyway, I did not see that a very tacky commercial came on the tv, I just heard my son say "Cover your eyes peekie, its tacky!". I go to the living room and see my daughter hiding her face and saying "Is it over yet?", and my son staring at the tv saying "No, not yet" while looking at this scantily dressed woman!
I have to appreciate him protecting his sister, but needed to review that he should close his eyes as well! lololol
It is terribly ill bred to show off ones breasts and buttocks or to attempt to entice every man on the street, not to mention it is robbing our husbands of their private garden, by allowing other men to peek over the fence! I fully and shamefully admit that there have been times in my life where I wanted to be found attracting (not attractIVE as in well groomed and presentable, but attracTING--I wanted to be desired) to men--I wanted men to want me! I thought that is where I would get validation, would feel pretty. I would not allow men to have me, but I wanted them to want me. Oh what HORRIBLE vanity and pride and sin I was allowing to reign in my life!!!!!! :-(
I believe this is a greater spiritual battle than we give it credit. When we focus on our bodies, when we do not master the effects of hormones, stress, media images, food cravings, desires, insecurity, etc then we are probably either going to be severely over weight or severely underweight. Even if we manage to maintain a healthy weight, we will be without joy because we cannot get joy focusing on ourselves, no matter what the reason or cause. Joy does not come by focusing on anything but the Lord.
Oh sisters this is getting REALLY LONG. I have so much more to say! So I think I will leave this for now. If there are any discussions, any questions, any refutations, feel free to leave them. Start TODAY to look to the Lord. TODAY make yourself presentable and then present yourself to your husband! Ask the Lord to help you see yourself through His eyes, and to develop those truly beautiful traits in you.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Got this in an email
Beautiful Sisters!
I got this in an email. I LOVE these quizzes, but hate sending them around...I just do not know that many people!
So I figured I would post this here and those who have blogs can also post it...consider it sent to you. You can also post in the comments section!
"You can only type ONE Word. Not as easy as you might think. Now copy or forward, change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It'sreally hard to only use one word answers. You can only type one word.Send it to 7 people including the person that sent it to you:
1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Where is your significant other? here
3. Your hair? dry
4. Your mother? wonderful
5. Your favorite thing? many
6. Your dream last night? awaking
7. Your dream/goal? perfection
8. The room you're in? plant
9. Your fear? here
10. Where do you want to be in 6 years? multi-generational (do hyphens count?)
11. Where were you last night? friend's
12. What you're not? content :-(
13. Muffins? dozen
14. One of your wish list items? alabama
15. Where you grew up? everywhere
16. The last thing you did? thought
17. What are you wearing? headcovering
18. Your TV? off
19. Your pet? adorablePATOOTadorable (hey, it's my blog!)
20. Your computer? luring
21. Your life? blessing
22. Your mood? struggling
23. Missing someone? family
24. Your car? guzzler
25. Something you're not wearing? shoes
26. Your summer? O-V-E-R
27. Your favorite color? yellow
28. Last time you laughed? today
29. Last time you cried? today
30. Who will resend this? dunno
I got this in an email. I LOVE these quizzes, but hate sending them around...I just do not know that many people!
So I figured I would post this here and those who have blogs can also post it...consider it sent to you. You can also post in the comments section!
"You can only type ONE Word. Not as easy as you might think. Now copy or forward, change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It'sreally hard to only use one word answers. You can only type one word.Send it to 7 people including the person that sent it to you:
1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Where is your significant other? here
3. Your hair? dry
4. Your mother? wonderful
5. Your favorite thing? many
6. Your dream last night? awaking
7. Your dream/goal? perfection
8. The room you're in? plant
9. Your fear? here
10. Where do you want to be in 6 years? multi-generational (do hyphens count?)
11. Where were you last night? friend's
12. What you're not? content :-(
13. Muffins? dozen
14. One of your wish list items? alabama
15. Where you grew up? everywhere
16. The last thing you did? thought
17. What are you wearing? headcovering
18. Your TV? off
19. Your pet? adorablePATOOTadorable (hey, it's my blog!)
20. Your computer? luring
21. Your life? blessing
22. Your mood? struggling
23. Missing someone? family
24. Your car? guzzler
25. Something you're not wearing? shoes
26. Your summer? O-V-E-R
27. Your favorite color? yellow
28. Last time you laughed? today
29. Last time you cried? today
30. Who will resend this? dunno
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