Jennifer dropped me off at the airport and said she was going to park the car. I was running late, so I RACED to check in. I flew through the check in process, and the lady behind the counter was friendly and sweet. I noticed later during this trial that the Lord made it so that everyone’s heart was turned to me. It was weird. It was like everyone was my best friend trying to make my situation better. I had never had that before from so many perfect strangers! I wonder if He lined my way with angels.
I waited as long as I could for Jennifer to bring the babies in so I could say goodbye to them. However, I was late for the plane and had to hurry through security. I realized that I would not get to hug my babies goodbye as I stood there in the TSA line. That thought broke my heart. I was hoping, hoping, hoping that I could just see them, that they would suddenly appear and I could say “Wait! Let me go hug them quick and get back in line.”. There just was not enough time.
Then TSA found two multi-tools that I had forgotten I had in my bag. Now, we are in Alaska, as I mentioned. EVERYONE carries something. However, I had thought that I had gotten all of them out of my bag. I carry a large backpack (a habit I got into when I was in middle school and never quite stopped doing). In the rush, I forgot to check all the pockets and left a leatherman and a “guppy” which is sort of like a carabiner with little screw heads, a small knife, I think it has a flashlight or something too. Anyway, both of those were gifts from Ashton. I was getting more upset by this time (not angry, just trying not to cry in front of the TSA folk). I was afraid I was going to get in some sort of trouble, but the TSA lady was SO nice! She suggested that I could just put those in an envelope and mail them back to myself, but I did not have time. I told her just to take them and went to my plane.
I sat down in the plane and called Jen before we took off. I got to hear my precious children’s voices, and I said I was sorry I could not give them a hug before I left. I told them I loved them and to be good. I asked Jen to please hug them for me…it was VERY important to me that the kids got a hug—like life or death important to me. Probably because life just seemed so fragile at that point, had been turned so upside down. Everything was uncertain. I just begged her to please give them a hug from me. Then I said goodbye.
As I sat back in the seat, I cried just a few tears. Not many, as I was afraid that the emotions of the day were such that if I started crying, I would not be able to stop or control my emotions. If they got out, they would be impossible to put back, I was afraid. So I cried a few tears, prayed more to the Lord that I would get to come home to my babies, that I would get to hug them again, and settled back for the flight.