Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Being available to your husband

My beautiful sisters in the Lord!

This is going to be about a very delicate subject. I do not want to be racy, but I think we need to be honest, since we are on the topic of beauty.

Do you make yourself always available to your husband? If not, why not?

Now, we know that there are Bible verses about how his body is ours and our body is his. I know that there are times where we are sick as dogs, tired as dogs...and then sometimes we feel like we LOOK like a dog!

That last one is the one I want to discuss, briefly and delicately as possible (xsighx...."briefly"might be wishful thinking, tbh). If we are preventing our husbands from delighting in us because we do not like how we look, we are being extremely self centered, which is sin.

Yeah, yeah, I know! We sometimes feel ugly, unloveable. We see those women in the magazines and have hope that we can look like that, and we do not want to share ourselves willingly with our husbands until we do.

How long are we going to keep our men without half of their "one flesh" because we are still struggling with portion control? How is it fair to them to keep them from us when THEY think we look fine, but we think we need work? That is not fair. Not fair at all.

They do not expect perfection. We are not going to have perfection. No, really, THINK about that. No matter if we are a size 0 or a size 30, if they want us, it is because they WANT us. They desire US. They desire communion with us. They want to delight in us.

Even if we were a size 2, we would still be insecure, because insecurity does not come built into certain dress sizes. Insecurity is in our heads, and if we arrived at the weight we like, we would find something else. TRUST me. Insecurity is from the mind, not the body.

Ladies, let me tell you...not one women you see in the magazines has not been touched up. Not one. Just recently there was a picture of a very beautiful famous woman who...amazingly enough...has cellulite. Yes. She has cellulite. And she was very right when she said that every woman with curves does. You cannot have curves without fat. You cannot have fat without cellulite (at least a little, though some of us have deeper fat).

Understand that, except in the RAREST of instances, husbands just want to delight in their wives. They just want to have fun with their wives, enjoy their wives.

Also, I want to emphasize this: They want their wives to want THEM too! When we reject our husbands because of insecurities, THEY, deep down, see that as a rejection of THEM! Yes! Men feel that we do not desire them, and that wounds them! Even if we reassure them that it is because we do not feel pretty, deep down men wonder if it is really that the woman does not want her husband. Women do NOT have the corner on insecurity.

Men are also not stupid. They know that airbrushing takes place. They DO understand that that same belly we try to hide is the one that grew their heirs, their blessings from the Lord. They know that our chest is the worst for wear because we nourished their babies. They understand that, even if we did not have babies, we DO have years. They know, and they do NOT care, just like how we do not care if our husbands are getting a little thin on top. They love us because we are loveable!!! They delight in our bodies because they are *OUR* bodies. They delight in their wives.

They come to us because they want *US*. Yes, seriously. If your husband approaches you, it is because he DESIRES you. He is NOT NOT NOT "stuck with you". He. Wants. You. He wants you! REVEL in that! Delight in that! It is GOOD for you to be tickled with that, to rest in that, to take confidence in that!

Do not deny him! Deny the enemy who is trying to steal your joy, your delight, your husband's joy, and your husband's delight. Deny the enemy who uses society to make us hate or reject the blessings the Lord has given us. Trust the Lord and your husband.....NOT your insecurities and society.

Let me say that again: Trust the Lord and your husband. DO NOT TRUST the devil who preys on your insecurities with lies that are airbrushed all over fashion magazines.

You will not drive your husband away by being eagerly receptive to him, by delighting in his delight of you. You CAN create great damage to your marriage, to yourself, and to your husband by putting your insecurities between you and your husband. We are Sarah's daughters if we do what is right and do not give way to fear (that is in the Word!). That means ANY fear--including fear of leaving the lights on or embracing your husband.

Be happy, not just dutiful. One of the most common things I have heard men say is that "confidence is sexy". The tiny girl who hides in the closet is not nearly as sexy as the ample-y built woman who is eager for her husband and her to delight in each other. No, really. That is the truth.

It is hard. We are taught, via society, that only pefect figures should enjoy marital bliss (which, in our fallen society, rarely takes place in marriage).

However, we are taught, via the Word, that He created marital bliss for one man and one woman, that it was good. He devoted quite a bit of Scripture to it, particularly Song of Solomon. He wanted ALL married people to delight in each other. He even admonished us to do so!

So, who are we going to listen to? The enemy who prowls society with lies and evil? Or the Creator of our bodies, our husband's bodies, the Word, and marital bliss?

Today. Make the change TODAY to listen to Him. Go give your husband a big smooch. Your heart might pound, you might hear a bunch of nonsense from your insecurities in your head. Dismiss them. The more you resist the enemy, the more he will flee from you.

Trust the Lord. Say a prayer, open your heart, be willing. You might have a few rough steps as you learn to obey the Lord, not society, but that is ok. Pretty soon you will feel ravishing, blessed, and say "WHY did I listen to society for so long?!". Not only CAN you do this, but you should--it is in the Bible. And when we obey the Lord, He blesses us.


Little Ducks said...

Loved this post.

As usual, you are speaking only to me. Me alone.
No one else. (LOL)

Ummm.. I need the address to your etsy shop. Would love to showcase it on my blog. Plus, I need more aprons. *hint, hint*

Dart Budgie said...

LOL! Well I was speaking to two of us anyway. I have felt the SAME WAY more times than I can remember. I think it is very common.

As for my etsy store...I don't have one yet! I cannot think of a name for it! Isn't that RIDICULOUS??? However, if you want aprons, just let me know!

Thank you for the offer to showcase on your blog! You are such a sweetheart, and if I ever come up with a name and actually make an etsy store, I will def let you know lolol.